how to save a life
by SebonzaMitsuki27
Summary: DemyxLarxene, AxelLarxene, ZexionNaminé. AU. A chance meeting with you changed everything.
1. one

how to save a life — **one.**

_x__**x**__x_

It was spring. Nice season, isn't it? My friend Marluxia said that you can see roses and trees in full bloom, and if you went on a date with someone on a full moon, it could be really beautiful and romantic. Or maybe that's the wrong season. Maybe summer is the better choice for romance. I don't know. Still, it's _Marluxia_ who's the flower fanatic and not me. I really don't care about that kind of stuff.

It was spring. The Christmas holidays had just finished, and yet another term of school was starting. I mean, it isn't that I _hate_ school, I don't; honestly, it's just that I'd prefer to play some of the musical instruments at home… rather than stay and learn unnecessary stuff at school. Besides, I get in trouble, even if I'm just an innocent bystander. My best friend Zexion told me I was one of those.

It was spring and like any other day, I was sitting at my desk, gazing out the window, slightly jealous of the clouds that manage to skip school. How cool would it to be a cloud? To fill up and then _explode_ into water droplets – rain, if you prefer, then turn into a cloud once more via condensation. Then the process repeats, again and again… without school. Sadly, it's only because of school that I know this tidbit of information.

It was spring… when she came – the New Girl.

And like usual, I didn't know what I was getting into.

I mean, sure, I hang around with my friends, it's a cool gang. What also happens is that when _they_ get into trouble, _I _get into trouble. And… I don't mind, not really, they're my friends and friends stick up for each other. Sometimes Zexion and Marluxia wonder why they're my friends, but… I don't think it matters that much, even if they get in trouble, they're still my friends. Right?

"Class, we have a new student. She transferred here from overseas. Make sure you make her feel welcome."

It just so happened… that she didn't get on well with the gang leader.

"Hey."

I swear, the moment that their eyes met, it was _instant_ war. So, the minute that I talk to her, even if it's just a glance in her direction, I was dead meat.

Though, Zexion would prefer the word 'doomed'. Hey, he's a vegetarian, what can I say?

"I'm Larxene. I just got here. Nice to meet'cha all."

So… technically, if she got along with Zexion and Marluxia, and didn't get along with Sora and Roxas, where would I stand?

You can't blame me. I'm innocent… technically.

And I didn't know that she was going to be like that.

_x__**x**__x_

I love my desk in my class. There's a reason, too. It's not at the back, so the teacher doesn't have to keep an eye on me and it's not at the front either, so the teacher could automatically pick me for the question. It's in the middle, and it's by a window, so I could daydream and look outside whenever I liked. At least… that's what happened most of the time.

Okay, so you know that I hang around with Zexion and Marluxia, who often help me with homework. Not _all_ the time, I'm actually pretty good at most subjects… in return; I help them with drama and other stuff. They usually sat at the front, while; my other friends… were at the back. So, I might as well pick the neutral place and sit in the middle.

Unfortunately, that's also where Saïx sits.

Who's he? Oh… you don't want to know.

So… the lessons passed by and finally, the lunch bell rang. Naturally, Miss. Gainsborough ran out the classroom, either to meet her lucky boyfriend or to steal some food out of the cafeteria, saint-like as she appears. Soon after that happened, the rest of the class flooded the door, like a storm. Couldn't help but say that I agree with them; it's a boring day, and nothing helped more than a good dose of food. Unlike them, however, I kind of prefer if they didn't make a scene or make so much noise. Be lazy and have a good snooze.

"Demyx, are you coming?" Zexion quietly asked, followed by Marluxia. "Where do you want to eat?"

_That_ got me out of my daydream. Stretching as I removed myself from the desk, I looked at the door to see… it was empty. Finally.

"…yeah, I guess so." I nodded.

Oh! I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I? I'm Demyx, a prodigy at music. Zexion's the shy, silver haired guy with one eye, who is great at physics and chemistry. Marluxia's… well, while I'm tempted to say 'gay', he's not. However, he gets great marks at biology and art. Still, having a hairstyle like that…

"So, where are we going to eat? I can't stand the cafeteria, it's way too crowded." Marluxia asked, glancing at the corridor ahead of us.

"Why don't we just eat in _your_ garden? It's usually empty around this time of the day, right?" I reply, stopping for a second, looking behind us.

Classmates had completely surrounded her, bombarding the poor girl with questions.

"_Where are you from? How did you get your hair like that? What kind of music do you like?"_

"_What school did you go to before? What kind of food do you like?"_

"_What sports do you like?"_

"_Are you interested in kendo?" _

"_What kind of things do you like to eat?"_

The class had her in a corner, so there was no escape. I could barely see her, although, those 'antennas' did help a bit. Among them was a girl from the gang, so if the new girl got on her bad side… she had the entire gang on her… she wouldn't survive.

Now that I think about it, those sound effects I heard as I was walking away probably _weren't_ sound effects.

Well, it's not my fault if she dealt with them the wrong way.

"Demyx? Come on, we're leaving." Zexion softly called, catching my attention.

I shook my head, breaking free of all thoughts and followed them into Marluxia's garden, generously given by the school.

"Hey, Demyx, did you want to say hi?" Marluxia asked, once we were in his garden.

"What?" I blinked, totally not hearing the question right.

Zexion smothered a chuckle. Unbelievable. The guy is as silent as a rock and yet whenever I lose my concentration, he laughs at me. Well, at least he's gaining his confidence.

"I was thinking… that since you were looking at her for a while, I was wondering if you wanted to talk to her." Marluxia explained.

"Oh… no, not really." I disagreed, pulling a face, shrugging it off as if it was no big deal. "I was just thinking how… unlucky she is, since the class was surrounding her. You know, with no room to breathe?"

"Oh, so you don't like-_like_ her, then?" Marluxia teased, his smile growing wider by inches.

"I forgot, our Demyx doesn't like being under the spotlight, does he?" Zexion added; a rare grin on his face. He always _did_ enjoy picking on me…

"Guys!" My face reddened, much to my embarrassment. "No! I don't like her _that_ way. Er… what's her name again?"

"It's Larxene." Kairi, the legendary redhead said, walking towards us. She's the girl I was talking about before – the girl from the gang. Not someone you want to get on the bad side of. "Demyx, stay away from her."

"Why?" I can't help but ask these things. Curiosity is like oxygen; I can't live without it.

"She broke Kai's wrist. _Nobody_ does that to my girlfriend and isn't an enemy." Sora sighed, joining her, the short brunet, leader of the gang and Kairi's boyfriend. Not that I'm jealous… it's more like I didn't like to see their affections when everybody else weren't as lucky in love. Whistling, and placing a soothing arm around his blushing girlfriend, Sora got my attention. "So… just keep away from her, alright?"

"Alright." I shrugged, not too bothered.

Stay away from her. Well. That's fine with me.

So the days passed, and I couldn't help but wish for something to happen. Something exciting; something… different; something that seemed worthwhile. Life with Marluxia, Zexion and sometimes the gang was easy, but boring. Everything was meaningless, so dull and grey. But it was simple and peaceful and I didn't mind _that_.

_x__**x**__x_

_How_ did it happen?

I still don't get that.

We never talked, never met, as if we were silently ignoring each other. Sure, I guess we shared a few classes, but we never sat next to each other and Marluxia and Zexion never brought her up. The gang either avoided her like the plague, or they were plotting against her. And we didn't go to any clubs together, so… how on earth did it happen?

Sometimes my eyes drifted to her, when she was furiously scribbling the teacher's notes, but still, they drifted back to the window, wishing to see something _new_ or exciting. Even so…

I guess she _did_ stand out, with her electric blue eyes and her flaxen hair, along with her delicate porcelain skin. And she did try to hide her antennas for a while, using hair clips to suppress her 'unnaturalness'. Marluxia thought it was cute. And sure, I suppose with the whiteness of her school shirt and the shortness of her grey skirt made her look like a ghost, but honestly, I didn't think it mattered that much.

Ah, but then I guess I always forget one minor detail.

Saïx.

But he was _my_ problem, back then, not hers. She had nothing to do with the guy, and who could blame her?

If it was my choice, I wouldn't like to know anything about Saïx.

Sure, she got into fights, with cuts and bruises alongside Sora and Riku and Roxas. They all had their fair share of going to Matron, short and scary Miss Paine. Not to mention the daily arguments with the other classes, both older and younger than her. Most people, except Zexion, Marluxia and me were against the full extent of her terrible, terrible temper. I guess that was due to our natural charm; and my elusive parlour trick to fade away whenever I saw her.

But still, people liked her. She was pretty and clever and witty, always knowing what to strike back with, and when. I wonder if I cared about her, in a platonic way. She seemed friendly, because she didn't get into a temper _without_ a reason, no, there was _always_ something behind her temper, and people could easily approach her, making her popular. And yet… she refused to cross the line of classmates and friends, as if she didn't want anyone to get close to her.

She gave strange smiles, puzzling the class. Still, no one could _completely_ hate her, because she apologized to them and gave them different sugar-coated grins. But still, she kept her distance. So no one would become too attached to her. She was odd, but not bizarrely; and she fit in with everything just fine.

It looked that way from a teacher's point of view, I think.

Then, _that_ happened.

_x__**x**__x_

Zexion was ill, and Marluxia wasn't in this class. That was fine. Still, I couldn't help but feel that _something_ was going to go wrong today…

It happened at lunch, when Roxas and Larxene were, yet again, _fighting_. Bring on the melodrama.

"Hey, Demyx." Kairi waved to me, wearing that sunny grin that she often had on her face.

"Fighting again?" I sighed, raking my hand through my hair. "When will they ever stop?"

"Hmm… that's kind of hard to say…" The redhead mused, drumming her nails on her arms. "Oh, I reckon it's going to stop… now."

And just like that, Larxene decked Roxas, giving him… a nose bleed.

"Ah, I gotta go, kiddo." She stepped back, her eyes widening. She began to run, twisting and turning, lost in the corridors. Interesting to note that when the time came, that girl was extremely good at being miles away when she should be caught at the scene of the crime; maybe she's related to Macavity the Mystery Cat. You know, if it was possible.

"Bitch." Roxas mumbled, as he tried to stop the blood flow, his hand covering his nose.

Slowly, one by one, the corridor emptied and then there was just me, walking away from the scene.

Unfortunately, as I was moving away, guess who I bumped into?

That's right. A platinum head named _Saïx_ decided that today was the day, which he was out for revenge.

Damn him and his long hair. I didn't _mean_ to snip it off with some scissors. His long hair… was… just… in the way…

"Demyx. What a _pleasure_ it is to see you." He glided smoothly towards me, pinning me across the wall.

If there was anything that I despised, it's him and his articulate sentences. How could a bully speak so grammatically correct? That's stereotypical, I know, but _still._ It's not cool, and it's not _fair_.

"S-Saïx… l-likewise…" I mumbled, not daring to meet his eyes, despite the fact that he was trying to choke me.

"Now, I realize that you might want me to stop choking you, and I will…if you _beg_…" A sadistic smirk slid onto his twisted face. "… like a dog…" Oh, right, I get it: Doggy Demyx. Alliteration. Ha ha. What a riot. It's terrible, I know, but everybody used it for some reason.

"Er… I don't want to—" I began to protest.

"Shut up!" Snarling, he interrupted me, fangs visible.

"…"

"Beg, Demyx. Fucking beg for me!"

Well, when you put it _that_ way…

"… bite me, jack ass." Karma kill me now, I did _not_ just say that.

Oh yeah, I forgot about the fact that his hand was still on my throat! Damn…

"Oi. What the hell are you doing?" Someone called, chucking a rock at Saïx… or _something_ at him. Excuse me for not knowing the details, I was a little preoccupied. You know, choking and recovering from the assault. If it was you in my shoes, I'm sure you'd do the same.

_Thud!_

And down went Saïx. I gasped, quite breathless. One doesn't get strangled and still is able to breathe properly immediately afterwards.

"Hey, Demyx. What ya doing, letting a creep like him do that to ya?"

Oh god. Please don't tell me it's—

"Larxene." I groaned, grabbing her hand to pull me up. "I could have handled him on my own."

No, I couldn't, but I wasn't going to let her know that.

"Pfft." She snorted. "Sure, you let him take advantage of you and call it 'handling him on your own'. I don't know, a few more seconds and you could have passed out."

Mm. Maybe. It wouldn't have been the first time that happened…

"Then I thank you for today… but in the future, please back off."

First mistake.

"Is that right? Well, next time you want your butt saved, don't come looking for me."

"Hey, if I wanted help, I'd have _asked._"

Second mistake.

"Sure, because you can _ask_ when you're being strangled."

"Just… bugger off."

Third mistake.

One of the first things I quickly learnt about the new transfer student was not to mention, or anything _remotely_ similar, bugs or antennas to her. Then she had the excuse that you were insulting her hairstyle. Like I said, there was always a reason why she did things: sometimes the reason wasn't obvious.

"_Bugger off?_"

Within seconds, the pretty blonde girl had narrowed her eyes…

… and I had just become her new target. Except, I didn't know that.

What I also didn't know, was that Kairi was there, watching the whole thing.

All I can say, for the things that happened in the future, I didn't start _any_ of it.

A spunky girl with a nasty temper did.

I… had nothing to do with it what so ever. I'm just an innocent bystander…

That hung around with the wrong crowd.

_x__**x**__x_

The minute I woke up, I _knew_ that today was not going to be normal.

It was the day after I got Larxene, the new girl, mad.

Mental note to self: don't do it again.

So… could my life get any worse? Apparently, the answer was 'yes'.

Actually… Zexion was there too, but still, it didn't answer the main question:

_Why was __**she **__here?_

I get why Zexion was here; we live near each other, so we walk to the bus stop together, talking about trivial things like why we can't have chocobos as pets. Whilst we _could_ do the economically environment-healthy thing and _walk_ to school, the both of us were lazy. Zexion blamed me, I think, had we not met, he'd be walking. Damn me and the 'easy, _lazy_ way out'.

She's smiling, isn't she? She's getting all these evil ideas in her pretty blonde head and she's thinking of using them. I knew it; she's going to use these delightfully crafty ideas on—

"Hi Demyx!" Said school girl leered at me, her blue eyes sparkling. She's up to something, I could feel it.

"Er…" I froze, wondering what to say, before smiling and settling with a simple: "_Hi_. Zexion. Larxene. What are you guys doing here?" I hoped that he didn't get the wrong idea of that. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't like him, it's just… complicated.

And I'm not supposed to interact with her in the first place!

Zexion gave a small cough, but truthfully, I think that he's laughing at me. Again. He knew what she's thinking, right? There's got to be a reason that he's so quiet, right? He knew about the _evil plan_ in her head which all include—

"Well, I met Zexion on the way and he wanted to show me where you live." Larxene smirked, brushing the subject away with another perfect wave, flawlessly careless.

I knew it! I just _knew_ it! Zexion had joined her, together those two are unstoppable! Brains and beauty unite. Damn…

"Oh, that's great." I said tonelessly, not really that interested in her explanation. Why should I care? I _don't_ care. However, I did have to get away from her and her fearful wrath. "Well, I think I'll _walk_ to school, instead of taking the bus. Later!" I hastily say, marching away quickly.

Please understand Zexion, it's not you, it's… her.

At this point, I thought that I had successfully ditched Zexion _and _Larxene. Sure, I did feel bad for Zexion, but on the other hand… I had escaped the fiery temperamental lady.

That was what I believed, until I heard footsteps behind me, and my head turned to look. And with that one motion, my hope of getting away scot-free drowned, there and then. And there _she _was, smiling like a Cheshire cat, her satchel flying in the air.

"Are you mad about yesterday? I said I'm sorry!" I walked faster, in a vain attempt to outpace her.

Sadly, the blonde new girl managed to catch up with me. I really did need to practise running, that way I could run away from Saïx…

"Nah, I'm alright with that." She snorted, shrugging as best as she could, while running, which was a pretty odd sight to see. In fact, I'm not entirely sure if it was possible. Maybe I was seeing things. I guess I'll never know.

She wasn't alright with it. I'm sure about that. It's not her style.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she's still thinking of revenge.

"Then… why are you stalking me?" I raised my voice, as I began to run. Far, _far_ away from her.

It's such a shame I forgot one minor detail.

"Who said _anything_ about stalking? We're going the same way!" She shot back, easily running beside me.

One very crucial detail.

"No, we're not!" I sped up.

Which she just happened to remind me.

"Of course we are! School!"

And I just _coincidently_ managed to forget. Fortune really isn't in my favour.

I fell silent, fuming. Larxene kept smiling and giggling alongside me until I snapped and made her giggle even more. That's pretty much what happened until we reached the dreaded school. It's not so bad, its food is better than my cooking… well, sort of…

I think I prefer my cooking.

"That was fun!" She smiled, that weird grin stretching across her porcelain face. "We should do that again sometime." Larxene laughed, stretching. I stared at her. Something passed in her eyes, but I didn't know her that well to recognise it, or what it meant. "Oh, I guess Kairi wants to talk to you, later!"

I tilted my head in the opposite direction. Ah, the gang. Oh, they saw me, and yes, they wanted to talk to me. Whether it's a good thing or bad thing, I'm not exactly sure, but I'm opting for the… latter option. I turned to face Larxene to thank her, but she wasn't there. Shame. Actually, judging by the expression on Sora's and Kairi's faces, it probably wasn't a good thing that they wanted to talk to me. And it was a good thing that Larxene had left the area.

Sighing, I jogged towards them, and put an easy smile on my face, acting as if nothing was wrong. "Hey guys! What's up?"

Unfortunately, the ever-calm Kairi, often depicted as a nice girl with a personality of a plastic chopstick, chose this moment to snap.

"What's up? What's _up_? I'll tell you _what's up_! What were you doing with her?" She demanded, a fiery light burning in her eyes. Scary…

By 'her' I'm guessing Larxene…? And I'm guessing that she didn't like her?

_Oh yeah? You think?_ The sarcastic voice of Zexion whispered in my ear.

That's just brilliant. My friend was moody, and I had to imagine Zexion talking to me, like some sort of conscious. What a fantastic life I have.

However, that being said, Zex _would_ be an amazing conscious. Provided he didn't get corrupted or something.

"She… was stalking me." I flatly said, knowing that it sounded lame. As if Kairi was going to believe that. But… you never know until you try, right?

"And yesterday?" She narrowed her amethyst eyes. If I didn't answer correctly, well… I didn't really know what might happen.

"I… got into a fight." I hesitated, admitting the truth reluctantly, not sure if she really needed to know that, raking my hand through my sandy-brown hair. "Yeah, somehow… she got involved."

"Oh… she _ended_ it for you!" Sora exclaimed, the obvious answer quickly realized.

"Sora!" How did he know? "Well, yeah… but… you know… I didn't ask her to!" I need some sort of dignity! He made it sound like we're a couple or something! Which was obviously not true, seeing as I'd never talked to the girl before yesterday.

"I suppose so," Kairi, the redhead girl nodded, accepting my explanation. Internally, I relaxed. Nobody really liked to be on the receiving end of her temper. Well, those who knew of it, at least.

"Just remember, Demyx: without us, you're not a _Somebody_, you're a _Nobody_." She warned me.

"What's up with you, Kairi?" I asked quietly, wondering where all this was coming from. She'd never snapped at me before. "Are you jealous or something? Of me? Of… _Larxene_?"

Technically, I didn't exactly mean to say her name. It just happened that she literally _broke_ the classroom by climbing up and entering through the window. A feat that I'm still not sure is possible today. On the other hand, I had just spoke the name that Kairi hated, so I think I'm fairly certain that today was not the best of days. If you didn't know that already. Or… I have a special talent to make girls mad.

Previous mental note to self: broken.

Kairi froze, anger radiating from her pale skin. I'm a dead man.

"No, no!" Riku cut in, swooping in to save me, giving me a noogie in the process. "She just cares about your wellbeing, Demyx! Sorry Kai, it's just that Demyx hasn't seen you so… fiery before." His knuckles rub furiously at my hair. _Stay quiet or die_ is what I think he's trying to say.

Understatement of the year. Still, thank God Riku saved my butt. My hair however, is a different story…

"I understand," Kairi smiled softly, her cheeks reddening; calm once more. "Besides, I have Sora. I haven't got a reason to be jealous."

Is… that fiery light… in her eyes… dying? _Score!_

"No," I shook my head, "it's alright, Kairi." I finally got out of Riku's noogie.

"I think it's about time Miss Gainsborough should be coming…"

_x__**x**__x_

The week that followed was… _interesting_, to say the least.

Mainly it was this:

I ran.

Larxene chased.

Zexion laughed.

Kairi seethed.

And Marluxia took photos.

For whatever reason, that crazy girl was determined to get me in trouble. Actually, that's not true. _She_ got in trouble, and was determined to drag me with her, through no fault of my own. I was innocent. The teachers didn't believe me.

So… I ran.

And she caught me.

Consequently, we suffered many detentions. I hate that girl.

_x__**x**__x_

There's a place that in school that I liked to be by myself. Just to think or to get away from everything.

No one knew about it. Not even Zexion, my best friend. I'd tell him, except that might destroy the 'secret' concept.

"Hey, I thought I might find you here." An all-too-familiar voice said, calmly opening the door to the roof.

Alright, maybe this place _wasn't_ so secret and someone _did_ know about it. Besides me.

"What is it?" I tiredly asked, not even glancing in her direction. Why bother when she's just an eyesore? "What do you want?"

"Wow! This is such a great view!" The petite blonde glided over to the banister, blissfully ignoring me. "I figured you were one of these guys," Larxene leaned on the frame. "You just had one of those… vibes, I guess."

"Excuse me?" I blinked, unsure of what she was talking about. It's not every day that someone interrupted me finding my 'inner peace', and then ignored me. "One of those… guys? What guys?" I slowly repeated her words.

"I've been to a lot of schools. I've known a lot of guys, so…" she vaguely said, trailing off, and still had that insane smile of hers on her face. "Don't worry, I won't tell anybody about this place—"

And just when I'm about to say 'thank you'.

"—because there's nothing for me to gain," she finished, a satisfied smirk on her face.

Damn her, damn Larxene. Just when I think she's nice, she just had to pull out her unpredictable streak. And ruin my lovely, fortunate morning.

"You know," she spoke again, and I listened. There wasn't much else I could do. "I bet the view would be even better if you could feel the wind on your face. Great view, great everything!" She laughed, lifting her leg.

At this point, I was kind of confused. Why would a student lift their leg up to the banister? Unless they wanted to… jump? Or climb on top. "What the hell are you doing?" I strode towards her, a mild panic attack running in my mind.

Apparently, the new girl did not know the word 'danger'.

"Stop that! Hey!"

She smiled at me and for some reason, that single smile, seemed more natural than before.

"I knew it! It's great! Join me, Demyx, get up here!" Larxene said, grinning, standing on top of the banister. Her eyes closed for a second.

"Get off that!" She's not listening…

"What? Why?" Damn, Larxene just has to protest about her safety. "Before I fa—?"

And suddenly—

… she's falling.

And for that single second that the world slowed down before my eyes, I swear I saw her mouth curl.

_Move! Move!_ My mind cried out to me, almost begging me to do _something_. But I… I couldn't move. For some reason, I froze.

I want to help – I do! I want to reach out, but… I can't! Why?!

… _why_?

… am I too scared?

"_Ha."_

I heard a quiet chuckle.

—she's laughing.

Suddenly, I could move again, and with haste, I grabbed her wrist. Before it's too late and she fell to her unfortunate doom. Letting out my breath, I pulled her up, and allowed her to jump off the banister to the ground that I was standing on. I wasn't going to let her go just so she could plummet to her death. I'm not that idiotic.

"What the _hell__?_ Why'd you do something like that? Are you stupid or something?" I yelled, furious at her.

She fiddled with her collar, pulled her skirt a fraction lower than before, before meeting my eyes. Her face was expressionless, her eyes cold and hard.

… out of curiosity, did you know that her pretty eyes resembled the celestial blue sky? Er… I'm sorry, that thought just randomly came up.

"It was fun." Larxene said, grinning like an idiot again.

"Fun? You could've _died_." I replied angrily. How could she be _smiling_ when she might've died!

"Yeah, I guess so. But, I didn't." Larxene shrugged, still smiling. It didn't reach her eyes. "So it's okay."

Then it hit me. She didn't care. She didn't care about her life.

She shut her eyes, tensing. When she opened them, the shiny sparkle was back in her eyes.

Or… was it just an act?

Her smiles, her fights, her temper tantrums… were they just a _lie_?

Did she… not care…?

"Demyx," she softly brought me back to reality, her voice quiet, controlled. "Just chill. Live a little, have fun, relax. It's okay, _I'm_ okay. Don't sweat it." Larxene said as she walked past me, clapping my shoulder. A cold front, the distance further than ever… I could feel it.

Her footsteps stopped, but I couldn't think why, or turn around to face her; the door still hadn't opened.

"Oh, and Demyx?" I could sense a smile to her voice. "Here." She tossed something on the floor. "Try a Mullet with it. I'd bet it would suit you."

The door opened and closed, and once again, I was alone. Larxene gave me what I wanted.

This _was_ what I wanted… right?

Sighing, I glanced at the object left on the floor.

The corners of my mouth began to curl.

_Mullet, huh? _

She just gave me hair gel.

Picking up the gel, I already knew that she expected me to use it by tomorrow. Want to know how I knew that?

Because whatever Larxene wanted, Larxene _got._

_x__**x**__x_

Disclaimer: kingdom hearts, not mine.


	2. two

how to save a life — **two.**

_x__**x**__x_

The following morning, after waking up at an _ungodly_ hour, I discovered that waking up early was indeed, a terrible thing. First, I had stayed up all night to see which kind of 'mullet' I should use, because this was high school, and to girls, _appearance is everything_, well, in most cases. I'm not sure about Larxene. Secondly, my Mom calls me the 'cold blooded monster', meaning that whenever I wake up, unnaturally, I apparently become a grouchy, lewd jackass. But what had to be done had to be done, and I fear the wrath of a scary person might not end well with me.

Taking that into account, I'm a natural slacker, and _not_ running to school with a chasing Larxene behind me was a wonderful thing. Especially since most of the time, I overbalanced and slipped onto the ground. So, if I woke up early enough, I could also go to school and avoid her and the injuries (that were indirectly caused by her) that followed. Let me just tell you this: don't ever do that.

School is a weird place. Coming to school even earlier is much stranger than people possibly imagined. A school with empty corridors, silence and only a few murmuring voices of the staff is perhaps what people might call… eerie. The floors were shiny, and smelt of polish and the classrooms were impossibly clean. Surely they weren't _that_ big? Was I _really_ in school?

Sighing, I decided that I might as well just walk to the classroom and sketch out some music notes. On the way, I passed the staff room and heard Miss Gainsborough talking to Miss Lockheart, who was the teacher of Physical Education.

"How's that new transfer student doing in school?"

"You mean Larxene? Oh, just dandy. She's getting along with most people in class. A few rifts, but I suppose that's natural. I was a little worried during the beginning, seeing her record," Miss Gainsborough replied, who was most likely sipping camomile tea. Unlike most people, Miss Gainsborough was a tea addict, not a coffee addict. Strange person, but I guess everybody has their own quirks.

I don't know why I stopped at that moment, when Miss Lockheart mentioned that girl, and when Miss Gainsborough confirmed that they were talking about Larxene. I don't know why I decided to listen for a few minutes more. It was almost as if my body commanded me to listen to this, as if I _needed_ to listen… but why? Larxene… she was weird and crazy and loved to give me—well, anybody—a dose of well-done, perfectly planned torture, but it wasn't as if _I_ was fascinated by her, I didn't want to know everything about her. Why would I _want_ to know why she acted the way she did?

Like the banister incident… yesterday afternoon.

Something slipped, I noticed, something made her different than before. And that smile on her face yesterday, it wasn't like her previous smiles that seemed so plastic and fake to me. Yesterday, her smile seemed… _real_.

"Does her family move a lot?" The soft voice of the P.E. teacher asked gently, "it might explain the record."

My form tutor paused, and I heard the shuffling of paper.

"As far as I know, Tifa, is that she's stayed at the same place for all her life, except that she has many 'retreats'. She takes the train to get here and back. She lives with her sister, who is currently in the year under my class. Both of them have transferred to many new schools, all over the country, for usually one or two years but… The thing is, she never was kicked out of her schools. Sure, she got in trouble, but it was never serious."

Silence followed until I heard the voice of the P.E teacher once more. "Maybe… it was her father, since the record does state about… well, I'm sure you've read it."

The subject about Larxene died down, and the two female teachers changed to more trivial things, such as bitching about students and the coming of exams. Still, I wasn't satisfied.

I wanted to know more. Why did she transfer so much? What was wrong with her dad? And since when did she have a sister who goes to the same school as we do? I lingered by the door until I remembered what happened last time I got caught eavesdropping on a conversation. It had not gone well. Not to mention that I looked like a geek, standing like this. With a shrug, I resumed my original course to the classroom, where I hoped that I got my much-deserved sleep.

Unfortunately for me, Marluxia was there, crushing my chance of sleeping. He loved to chatter to no end, and since he had been ill for a few days, he was more energetic than ever. Wonderful, _wonderful_ news.

"Demyx! Good morning! Isn't it just a beautiful day? Oh, I have something _exciting _to tell you!" He twirled prettily around me, scattering flowers on the floor. No matter how hard he asked, today I was _not_ going to pick them up.

"Marly… good morning," I yawned, stretching my arms. "So, what's that 'something exciting'? I simply can't _wait_ to hear it." I said, in my most unenthusiastic voice.

"An old school friend is coming here! End of term, actually." My brunet haired friend flounced, blissfully ignoring my eyes closing ever so slowly. "He's a bit of nutter, but that's all right…"

"… xel moved away a few years…"

"… which is why I never let him near my flowers again…"

"… can you believe he had a girl…"

On and on went his meaningless chatter, like how perfect the flowers were blooming and what wonderful fragrances they gave, paying no attention to those poor hay fever sufferers. Sadly, I had to reopen my eyes and nod attentively, while my eyes strayed from place to place. It's amazing when you have nothing to do, you notice the tiniest things; Marly's hair, for instance, is curlier on his left side than his right and the ceiling has exactly ninety-two tiles with seventy-five cracks.

Many people have told me that I have an attention span of a gnat, but I beg to differ, since I do try to pay attention. However, that didn't explain why Marluxia disappeared from when I was gazing out of the window and I turned to face him again. That being said, and me wondering where he had gone, did not prevent me from hearing the window being opened and a spunky Larxene leaping onto the tables.

I wonder if she thought herself to be some kind of superhero.

"Finally noticed, did you?" She smirked, looking faintly amused.

"What? How did you…"

"I've been here all the time. 'Cept I was outside in the balcony." She looked smug.

"B-but this is the third floor! It doesn't have a balcony." I said slowly.

"_Doesn't it?_ Well, I guess I climbed up the window and stayed there all day." Larxene said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"And I tried my best to avoid you…" I murmured, lowering my gaze, disappointed.

"And those efforts were wasted, so very wasted. See, once I got a hold of someone, it's a bit hard to let go. Well," she shrugged, wrinkling her button nose, "until I grow bored of them."

She sighed, somewhat content, before her eyes flicked up and met mine, a devilish smile gracing her porcelain face. Then she clapped, which confused me.

"Oh! You used it!" Larxene cheered, brushing her silky bangs away from her face. "But… not like how I like it… not how I pictured it…" And she actually pouted, reminding me of a stubborn child. No matter what I do, she's never satisfied.

"Pictured it? You just said 'style it into a mullet'; you didn't state _which_ kind of mullet you wanted." I stepped back, feeling that something bad was going to happen. To me.

"Let me style it!" She grinned, cheekily, clapping her hands once more.

"Go to hell!" I yelled as I backed away. Far, far away from her.

I should have known she wouldn't have let me go that easily. Even so, _normal_ eighteen year olds don't climb through windows to get to class. I should have learnt by now that she was anything _but_ normal. Still, I never dreamed that Larxene would actually _pounce_ on me, like a deranged cat. From that moment, I learnt never to put anything past her.

As her skinny body collided into mine, my hand grabbed onto the nearest desk as I fell, causing the chairs to come crashing around us. A small—_very small_—part of me wondered if I was dreaming, or how badly we could have been hurt; but a much bigger part was more aware of the compromising position we were in.

The thing that bothered me most was the fact that Larxene _didn't seem to care_.

Her slim legs were wrapped around mine, tangled in a mess. Her wiry arms clung to my neck, her bony hands gripping my sandy brown hair; and I was acutely aware of how close our bodies were, even more aware of the fact that she seemed to be _pushing_ her body closer to mine and that her body was as cold as ice.

My face turned scarlet and even if I couldn't see it, I could feel how hot my burning cheeks were.

I was no better. Despite that our bodies were intertwined, somehow my arms slid across her waist, unconsciously tracing her curves. I could feel her hot breath against my face, and her pale face, made of marble, seemed to be… lowering… getting closer and _closer_ to mine.

Her ruby red lips moved soundlessly.

My eyes widened.

I looked up and met her sapphire eyes. Except… they were different than before, they weren't shiny or vivacious. Her eyes had darkened, almost resembling the night sky, but still—those _eyes_ of hers looked haunted, lifeless, as if it had seen too much pain in the world.

How long we stayed there like that, I don't know. It seemed so fast and fleeting to me. And all I could do in that moment was stare and stare and _stare_.

… it made me realize how little I knew her.

But I had never tried to reach out to her before; often I just attempted to avoid her.

"_Demyx…"_ she whispered, her voice lower—huskier—than before, and I don't know why, I _don't_ understand what happened, what was happening, but at that moment, my heart pounded in my head, until all I could hear was the sound of drums. _"Please…"_

And the classroom door flew open.

I sat up quickly, Larxene still leaning—clinging—on me.

"What the hell are you two _doing_!" A furious teacher bellowed at us. Mr. Leonheart, to be more exact. The chemistry teacher, Dr. Vexen, however, looked… _delighted_. Delighted and fascinated.

Creepy pervert.

I knew I never liked him for a reason. I didn't like either of them, to be honest.

As more classmates entered the room, and finally Larxene decided to _let go of me_, did I finally realize how much this was going to ruin my reputation. As meagre as it was.

Kairi was not going like this. Not at all.

When the silent Zexion finally offered his hand to help me up, I swear I caught yet another glimpse of a smile tugging on his lips. This time, however, I managed to see a small dimple in his cheek. Marluxia was going to freak for sure.

As I was hauled up to my feet, I glanced at the unaffected Larxene, feeling more than puzzled. I sighed, realizing how unlucky I was to earn her attention. No, Sora, Roxas, Riku and Kairi were not going to be happy.

"Are you alright?" The silver haired asked quietly.

I glanced up at him, slightly shocked, before giving a small, lopsided grin. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, Zex."

But I _wasn't_. Tentatively, I touched my cheek before flinching. It was burning.

And you know the thing that scared me most? It was what she said.

Was it…

"_Take me now…" _

Or…

"_Save me now…"_

_x__**x**__x_

"Demyx, man, what are you doing?" Riku asked, leaning on the classroom door, flicking his hair.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently, wondering if he was talking about a certain blonde girl.

"Larxene, dude. You know Kairi doesn't like her, so why hang out with her?" He shrugged. It really wasn't his problem.

If only it was that simple. It never was with that cerulean-eyed girl. "I don't like her, Riku. I have no idea why she follows me. She's… I just… I just don't _get_ her." I tried to explain, failing spectacularly. Explaining was never one of my strong points; usually, that was what got me into even more trouble.

Riku raised his silver eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Well…" He pushed his fringe away, "personally, I don't mind. Neither does Sora, or Roxas. She's a laugh, a good fighter too, it's only Kairi that's got a problem."

"And if Kairi's got a problem, Sora's got a problem. Since Roxas is Sora's brother, Roxas has that problem too." I nodded, following the pattern.

"Right." He snapped his fingers. "See, Kairi's got this… well, small crush on you and since you haven't hung around with too many girls in the past she thinks…" He trailed off, smirking.

"What? She thinks what?" I asked, not understanding his implication.

"Actually, I think that too, she'd be a good match, I think." He shrugged, his gaze melting one of the chairs into dust. He's so freaking vague, dammit!

"Wait, Kairi has a _crush on me_?" My mouth dropped, bewildered. Why… why would she have a crush on me since… she has Sora?

"That's right. Don't tell her I said that. I hate her temper." Riku lowered his voice, meeting my eyes.

"Can you explain why?" There's got to be a perfectly logical explanation why Kairi has a crush on me, right?

"She thinks you're cute?" He guessed, my hopes shattered. "I don't know. Kairi is Kairi."

"Fine, let's just drop the subject." I moan, raking my hand through my mussed up hair. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, there is one more thing…" He scratched the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable.

"We want you out of our gang."

"What?" I froze.

The bell rang, indicating that the next class was starting. Ah, who cares, I could flunk one class.

"Yeah… there is one way to get back in, but believe me, you're nice, just not…"

"… cool." I finished, hanging my head lower. "Can I ask why?"

"Sure. It's because…" He looked away, inspected his shoe, before meeting my eyes.

"Riku?" I tilt my head to the side, not getting it.

"Jeez, you know what, it's a stupid reason. Did you know that we're having a new student, soon?" He changed the subject.

"… sort of. Marluxia was talking about him." I shrug, grinning as I watched him laugh.

"You weren't listening to him, were you?" He smirked, "that's typical for you, Demyx."

"I guess," I sighed, "at least tell me his name, so I'm not a total idiot."

"Fine. It's Axel." He stepped out of the classroom, jogging to his next class.

"Wait! Why don't you want me in your gang?" I called, noticing that he had stopped and turned slowly to face me.

"I don't want you to hear it. It's stupid, really."

"I don't care, tell me anyway." I insist, walking towards him.

"But, it's ridiculous—"

"Ri-_ku._"

"God, you're persistent." He rolled his eyes. "Fine, if you want to know that badly, it's because…"

"Riku?" I step back. His voice lowered, so I could barely hear it.

I'm not even sure I heard it right.

I couldn't have heard it right.

"… it's because you're _falling in love_ with her."

_x__**x**__x_

Guess where I am?

Hint: it happens to people who _love_ to get into trouble.

That's right! Detention.

Today's punishment is washing the outdoor swimming pool tiles, and today, Larxene has decided to aid me. It's out of the kindness in her heart.

It's better than Saïx at least, though I haven't seen him lately. Though when I have, his hair looks shorter than last time. Gee, I wonder why…

"Hey! Were you waiting just for me?" She giggled, mainly at my expression, I think. She told me later that it was a cross between disbelief and bewilderment.

"Why would I do that? You're the one who follows me." I snapped back.

"I don't follow, sweetheart, I lead." She grinned, waving her hand as if the subject was over. "Are you tired? Usually, you don't snap back until… I don't know, you feel sleepy?"

_I felt sleepy this entire morning!_ I felt like yelling at her, which was completely true, but refrained. Instead, I replied with, "Just being around you is tiring. Why do you have to act so hyper all the time?"

"I want to," she smiled, softer than before, as if she was reminiscing. "It's fun. Besides, you should be proud, you're the only one who's being able to keep up this far."

"Did you think I _wanted_ to?"

"Mm, maybe, maybe not." She shrugged, not really paying attention. "It was something…"

"Listen, Larxene. Is this some kind of test for me to pass? Did you select me for some certain reason?"

I don't know why I felt angry. I don't know why I dropped the mop. I don't know why I stepped back. Because, eventually, it all led to one thing.

"A long time ago, someone told me, that I was like lightning in the sky. Quick and agile, and never striking the same place twice. If you try to bring it close to you, it pulls away. Though it may brush against your feet… if you try to catch it, it will pull further away."

She touched one of her antennas, twirling it on her tapered fingers.

"Maybe, maybe all I'm waiting is for someone to catch me…"

She stepped forward, while I stepped back. Closer and closer…

I didn't get her. She didn't make any sense.

"Besides, Demyx, I hate having to slow down for other people." She shrugged, looking right through me. She placed her small hands on my shoulders, almost caressing them.

I looked up, and again, merely stared at her. I observed her heart-shaped face, her flaxen coloured hair, which changed daily, like it was honey one day, and golden the next. Her eyes seemed to be screaming a message to me, but I didn't get it. I never understand people's signals, one of the hopeless faults I have.

"Larxene—" I started to speak.

"So Demyx, why should I slow down for _you_?" She asked, interrupting me. Her face twisted into a grin, breaking into something beautiful.

Something twisted.

Then she pushed me into the icy cold pool.

_Splash!_

You know, I really should have asked her what she meant. Slowing down for other people? What the hell was she on about? I _should_ have grabbed her as I fell, dragging her into the swimming pool with me, then ask her for answers. Maybe then, it would have been easier. A lot easier, in fact. But…

By the time I came up to the surface, she was gone.

_x__**x**__x_

The next day or rather… for the rest of the week, she didn't come to school. You guys know whom I'm talking about, right? That new transfer kid that wasn't new any more and pushed me in the pool and… and did so much stuff to my embarrassment and horror, which always ended with either me or her or both of us in detention.

Her desk, the one that I could only see her back and her antennae bobbing up and down when I saw her, remained empty the following week as well. It seemed lonely… for some reason. Without her, all the intriguing characteristics of a lifeless, inanimate object faded… which might be as you expect for something that technically stays at school all day long and has no friends. Though I swear that she was trying to start up a conversation with it once.

… it's something I don't try to dwell on. Actually, I tried not to think about her that much.

"No… I don't think Larxene told me. I never asked."

I wondered, briefly, that she might be ill. It would explain a few days absence. But, a week and a half wouldn't be an illness… right? Silently resolving to find out what happened, I decided to take the matter into my own hands. I wasn't _worried_, no; it was just that I…

… I missed her.

And her empty desk was bugging the hell out of me. Zexion calls me a perfectionist; but I beg to differ. It was different, something new and the sight of an empty chair is a little distracting for me. And if I wanted to find Larxene, I would need something. That no one had bothered to wonder about.

"Oi, Zexion!"

He stopped, and gracefully rotated to face my direction. A soft smile was on his covered face. "Demyx… are you still looking for Larxene's address?" Zexie quietly asked, looking at me up and down. "You look awful."

"… thank you." I sardonically replied, not in the mood for his ironic wit. But I had been avoiding him… and Marluxia, because I wanted her address. Which reminds me, _how did he—_

"You should know that in this school, there is always gossip lurking in the shadows. They say you're becoming a stalker." He said it in such a calm voice, such a matter of fact tone that my jaw dropped. Didn't he care about me? At all?

I'm not a violent person. I'm a _pacifist_, a very mellow person that hums to sitar music. It takes a while for me to become angry, but embarrassment is another thing altogether. I might have hit Zexion, though I probably would have slipped and pushed him back, which might have ended up with a concussion. But the teacher would have then given me another detention, and I've had quite enough of those.

My cheeks reddened, growing hot. "That's not _true!_ Zexie, how could you—"

"—_say such a terrible thing?_" He interrupted me, slightly cold to my melodrama. "Do you know what has happened to you? Do you have _any_ idea of what you've done? What about the consequences of what you've created that are affecting your friends?"

"I'm Nobody. It doesn't matter." I said, listless and toneless. I couldn't stand to look at him.

"_Don't you ever say that again._" Zexion seethed, hissing dangerously soft. The next thing I knew was that he dragged me by the collar.

I don't know why he said that. We… we're not close. I've seen the smiles on his face and known that I haven't caused them. I've seen the look in his eyes sometimes, warm and caring, compared to his icy and emotionless eyes. I could have, maybe, had a chance to become a Somebody. To become noticed, to be liked, to be cared for… instead, I'm a Nobody; invisible, a wannabe… a _loser_.

It didn't make sense.

Why was I in the school toilets?

I swear I was in the hallway when I blinked a second ago.

"Zexie?"

"Look at the mirror."

"… why?"

"Look at the mirror." He repeated, his eyes, or technically, his one eye darkening.

"I don't get—"

"Look at the mirror and tell me, eye to eye, that you're okay."

Giving in, and releasing a sigh, I gazed at the mirror.

_Shit._

What the hell happened to me?

Dark rings encircled my eyes; my skin had become grey, almost pallid. My sandy blond hair became limp and the gravity-defying promise of hair gel seemed to be lying to me. And my eyes… had completely turned into two dull blue discs.

_What…?_

I was shaking, visibly _shaking_. It scared me, because I didn't see that this morning. I looked fine, I looked all right, and I now looked… _emo_. That wasn't me… that boy in the reflection. I couldn't be that weak looking boy that stood next to Zexion with sunken eyes and a pathetic—

That can't be…

That can't be… _me._

"Tell me: are you okay?" My silver haired friend asked me, quiet and serious.

"I… I… I'm…" I stuttered, like a broken record, unable to move from that one word. Why? Because… I'm scared.

Of what I might see.

Of what I might find.

"Demyx, look at me."

Like me, Zexion isn't that violent either. He won't force you unless he has no other choice. Zexie prefers to be a puppeteer, handling the strings in the dark; because no one knows where he really stands. His voice is one of his greatest weapons, but I've never heard him sing. Pity.

The quiet genius reckons that it's completely flat.

But his voice, when he wanted something… is silky, powerful… _persuasive_. It's not what he says, it's the _way_ he said it, the _tone_ of his multi-layered voice. And that's why I couldn't stop myself from meeting his eyes.

Maybe, it hurt him too. I… I don't know. But I knew he's doing this because he _cared_.

"What has she done to me… Zexie?" I whispered, terrified.

Five weeks. That's how long the girl been here. Three and a half weeks. That's how long I've 'known' her and got into trouble. One and a half weeks. That's how long she's not been here.

And she's turned me into a fucking wreck.

"…"

"Help me." I murmur, my vision showing black dots.

And before I completely faded into black, I swear I saw his mouth form the words:

"_I know where she lives."_

_x__**x**__x_

When I woke up, I wasn't expecting Kairi to be there.

"Kai," I breathed, my eyes (painfully) absorbing the redness of her hair and the whiteness of her teeth. "Kai, Kai… what are you doing here?"

Her head tilted, locks of red sliding down her pale face. "I was worried about you. We're friends, right? So I care about you."

"Oh." I blinked, "I'm sorry."

Confusion covered her face, making her cute, in a weird way. "For what? You haven't done anything."

"For making you… everyone worry." I mumbled, my cheeks flushing. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Is it… wrong?" She asked, quietly.

"What?"

"Is it wrong… to worry?" Kairi asked, her amethyst eyes meeting mine, her gentle hand resting on mine.

"No. No, it's not." I shook my head, feeling like a moron. "There's nothing wrong in worrying. It just depends _how_ much you worry."

You know, I should really try my own advice.

"Zexion left you a note." She suddenly said, perking up. "I haven't read it."

How considerate. Larxene would probably read it and tell me what it said. Or maybe she wouldn't have given it to me at all.

But Larxene isn't Kairi. And Kairi isn't Larxene.

She's not blonde. She doesn't have those electric blue eyes that can change into so many kinds of blue, which kinda questions your sanity. How is that technically possible? Her skin isn't pale, similar to a vampire's. I doubt they even like the same music.

Kairi is so different from her. Her hair, for instance, is like a rose and her amethyst eyes don't resemble the sky at all. Her skin is tanned, telling everybody that she's a beach… babe. I'm not quite sure that's the word I meant. A beach girl, then?

But what strikes me about their difference is… their aura. If I could describe to you the difference, I'd tell you. But… I don't, so I can't.

Silently, she gave me the note. Instantly, I became jealous of Zexie's prim, elongated and slanted writing that seemed so articulate and legible… compared to my messy, curly writing. Still, I like my handwriting. If I had to choose a word to describe it, I'd choose… _'comfortable'._

"Thanks." I offered her a lopsided grin.

She gave me a reassuring smile, and then left me.

Right… now what do I do?

"_I'll take you to Larxene after school."_

I yelled, and jumped, surprised at the sudden voice, before he began to laugh.

At me.

Don't I feel special today?

Trying to stop my flushed face from looking so surprised, in a flustered voice, I said:

"S-Shut up, _Zexion_."

God, I sound like a girl.

_x__**x**__x_

As soon as school was over, Zexion led me to her place. The thought crossed my mind, _how did he—_

"She told me that she would be here… waiting." He said, a somewhat aloof tone laced through his voice.

"Um… Zexion?"

"So, she'll be here… sooner or later."

"… who are you talking about?" Is he talking about Larxene or someone else?

"It doesn't matter…"

Annoyed, I try to stop my eyebrow from twitching. That doesn't stop me from thinking: _Why yes it __**does**__ matter Zexion, because when you creep me out, you have no idea how __**creepy**__ you are!_

Absentmindedly, I wondered if that made any sense.

Instead, I asked another question. "So, do you know where she lives?"

He _should_… right?

"… sadly no."

Okay… _I_ _must_ _**not**_ _punch him_…

"Then why did you say you do?"

"… maybe I wanted your face to light up like a pretty little candle and giggle like a deranged teenager."

Interesting…

"Do you ever do that?"

"… no."

"Did you ever want to do that?"

"…"

"_Zexion_!"

As far as my memory serves me correctly, I don't recall my voice to ever be that high-pitched. Nor do I recall Zexion to ever refer himself as third person. But, you never know, some people do have strange hobbies.

Like dragging someone into trouble for no reason…

"Naminé." Zexion acknowledged, his head shifting so _both _his eyes can see her. That's new…

"I can't find her!" The blonde girl with a really pale hair and blue eyes dashed towards us, panicking, somehow still containing an innocent aura. "Larxene!"

"You know…" my ears perked up, "… Larxene?"

"Um… I don't mean to be rude or anything… but, uh…" A red blush was growing on her cheeks. That was cute. I can't imagine Larxene _ever_ blushing like that. "… who are you?" And her bluntness just reminds me of her.

"Demyx. You are…" I gave a weary glance to my silent schemer – who is trying to look away and innocent – who, as usual said nothing. "… Naminé, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, you could say that." She gave a meek nod. Adorable.

"How do you know Larxene?" I feel weird for saying her name.

"Oh…" she reddened even more, "well, I'm looking for her. She's, um… my sister." The words sound so mumbled that I thought I didn't hear that right.

"I'm sorry? Could you repeat that?" Why do I get the feeling that Zexion is _snickering_ at me? Since when does Zexion _snicker_?

He's really starting to freak me out.

She took a deep breath. "Larxene is my sister. And I can't find her."

Oh no. Surely this really shy and sweet creature – who I have known for less than five minutes – couldn't _possibly_ be her…

Call me a drama king, but I think I might faint.

"Are you okay? You look kind of pale… Zexion, is he…?"

"He'll be fine. He's just in shock."

"Shock? Why?" Her wide blue eyes fill with confusion.

"Maybe due to the fact that you're her sister."

"Oh… I see."

"You don't seem surprised."

"I guess it's because everyone has different reactions to that. Some laugh, some faint, some stay silent, and once, someone had a heart attack."

"… you're not kidding." Zexion's mouth quirked.

"Why would I?" Her eyebrow lifted.

Maybe it wasn't the best time to actually step back.

_That_ resulted me in going backwards and hitting this random fence-thing, which then made me fall onto the other side and slide down the slope, successfully covering myself in mud and letting numerous rocks hit my head, effectively ruining my hairstyle. Which was already messy from fainting the time before.

My only regret is that I didn't take Zexion with me.

_Then_ I blacked out.

_x__**x**__x_

Let it be known to the world, that when I woke up, from my traumatic experience of realizing that the world did not make sense – although in retrospect, I already knew this, I didn't really expect a certain, vampyric, flaxen haired, blue-eyed girl to be gazing at me, grinning like a minx.

"What the hell…?" I mumbled, wearily blinking, not sure if I was hallucinating or my eyes were deceiving me.

"Out of curiosity, how do you feel about gummy bears?" She asked, eating – or rather devouring – a packet of what I presumed to be… gummy bears.


	3. three

how to save a life — **three.**

_x__**x**__x_

And suddenly, my world blew up.

Internally, I sighed. It would be so nice. A quick _boom!_ with fireworks and explosions. And then I'd fade into nothingness.

Oh dear god.

It's not fricking possible.

Screw my world blasting apart, maybe it'll all be better soon, and I'll wake up and it'll all be a dream.

Fat chance.

"Demyx."

So here I am, unable to move, unable to see straight, and it's very possible that I've got a concussion. This could, in fact, be a hallucination – not _quite_ a dream, but _close_. That's right. And since, my head is feeling dizzy, there's a chance that I could black out. Any minute now.

Any minute…

… now?

Why the hell is it taking so long?

"If I punch you, will you answer the question?" A _stupid_ question, that is. "What happened to your hair?"

That's not the question I was referring to…

But, I'm quite sure that if she _did_ punch me, it'll be harder to reply. But I really don't want to talk about her question.

What I wanted to know is why she wasn't asking: _"How are you feeling?"_ or _"Are you okay?"_

Instead, she's asking a ridiculous question about a trivial thing. Damn Marluxia.

Damn that guy for getting Larxene hooked onto the stuff. Ludicrous gummy bears.

"You're kidding me." Choking, possibly spitting out blood – not drool – I gasped out three, technically four, words that could bring me closer to unconsciousness.

"Do you really want to find out?" She's smiling, I can tell. It's in her voice, and her fine eyebrows arched, mocking me, tempting me to say the wrong thing.

"…" How can you reply to something like that?

"Exactly." She nodded, satisfied. "Now answer the question. What do you feel about gummy bears?"

I groaned – hey, I couldn't help it. Despite the fact that _I'm_ the one who wondered where she was, and _I'm_ the one who had a nasty fall (forgetting to drag Zexion with me), _she's_ the one who's asking a flipping question about fucking gummy bears and not my wellbeing.

"… oh, _fuck off_." Dear lord, have I developed a backbone? Or is the mere presence of her making me go crazy and… dizzy?

Maybe… it's withdrawal symptoms. My body had been reacting with the strange dilemma called 'psychotic people and their thoughts', and so I am merely on the way to recovery. It's a shame that boredom is on the list for that. Oh, and this weird cynical thing called sarcasm.

"Already done it, Dem. Heard you got upset and became a stalker. Flattered, but _no_."

Lies. All _lies_. And yet still she smiled with the face of a Cheshire Cat – except that her face isn't stripy and purple, like the Disney adaptation. That might clash with her hair. Marluxia is always on about those things. I have no idea why.

Suddenly, she stood up, and I noticed that she's wearing crimson socks, black trainers and knee-length shorts. Even if she's petite, she's got really shapely legs…

Oh. I must be mad. And yet, I felt so calm and peaceful. Light-headedness really is such a pleasant feeling…

"Guys! He's _alive_!" She shrieked, her voice shrilly damaging my ears. I had forgotten about that.

"… did I ever die?" I mused out loud, not expecting an answer. But if I _did_ get one, it might explain a few things. Like why the sky looked like blotted lilac…

Naminé and Zexion quickly walked towards up, while Larxene crouched down again, looking at me eye-to-eye, and still grinning.

"No. Not really. But I've always wanted to say that."

"I hate you…"

And so, my small prayer of this to be a dream was smashed into little, insignificant shards.

Or maybe, that could have been me falling unconscious.

_x__**x**__x_

Oh god. Saïx was going to kill me.

That was my first thought when I woke up from the void called unconsciousness.

"Hey sport." Larxene said, smiling at me, swinging her legs back and forth on the bed.

… I'm on a bed? That isn't mine? _Again?_

"Dammit." I mumbled. "Where am I?"

"Zexion's house. Nami's really good at making cookies. Want some?" She offered me some cookies, chocolate chip cookies to be exact.

Yum.

"Is Naminé really…" I didn't want to come off as cynical. I just wasn't sure if really was _true_.

"My sister?" Her blonde eyebrow lifted, and I meekly nodded, not trusting my voice. My voice easily can increase in pitch without me knowing, it's incredibly annoying and embarrassing. "Yep."

"Biologically?"

"Same parents." She shrugged, and then carefully switches the topic. "So, Zexy tells me you _stalked_ me?"

So much for _carefully_.

"For the last time," I moaned, tired of the word 'stalker' being referred to me. "I wasn't—"

"Chill. You didn't have to worry, I'd have come back." Larxene grinned, giving a very impish demeanour. "Eventually."

"But I—"

"You really _do_ worry too much. It's annoying, you know." She frowned, wrinkling her nose.

"Why did you leave?" I asked suddenly, anger just appearing. Why was I so angry?

"… I… I…" She seemed stunned, but then laughed it off. But, her face was a façade. "Jeez, Dem, I left school for about a week, it's no biggie."

"No _biggie_?" I repeated, shocked and enraged. I had become like a wreck, and then I find that _no_, she's not ill, but perfectly healthy. "Explain."

"God, what _are_ you so upset about?" She snapped, her temper becoming like a fuse. It was a warning; I had to tread softly on dangerous ground. "So I flunked, _does it matter_? I left because I was _bored_."

"I'm bored at school, yet I don't leave." I retorted.

"Oh, boo-hoo. You're goody-two-shoes aren't you, along with Kai-Kai and her group of followers." She replied, a red flush suffusing on her pale cheeks. "You can't even stand up to your bullies!"

"So what? At least I have _friends_!" I hissed. "What do you do? You _drag_ me all around the place, and don't care what happens. Don't you think you could have told me that you were going to take time out?"

Lithely, Larxene stepped off Zexion's bed, suddenly quiet. She twirled, nimbly leaning on the door. "Don't think, just because you hang around with me, that you know _anything_ about me. Besides, I don't need friends. They're a waste of time. Besides, are they really _your_ friends?"

Fury sizzled, just _uncontrollably_. I didn't know why this was happening to me. Why was she affecting me so much? She's just a crazy girl. And I'm just an innocent bystander that got dragged into this mess. Her mess.

"God, I'm stupid."

"Oh? For what, Dem?" Her head tilted, and her cerulean blue eyes became innocently wide, the transition of 'anger' to 'caring' happening so smoothly, it scared me.

I hated it. Since Larxene noticed me until today, I had been dragged around the school, getting into trouble, making a fool of myself, all for nothing? I followed her, involuntarily, while she acted on every whim, every desire, without considering how I felt. How could she be this _selfish_? Surely, she could have been above that.

And still she called me 'Dem', acting if nothing's wrong, as if we're not having an argument.

"For getting _involved_ with you! For meeting you! Why did you pick _me_, out of all the other people in the school? Why couldn't you have just left me alone?" I shouted, not paying attention to the unwanted consequences.

"You could have asked." She sighed softly, bored, her finger tangling itself on her lock of hair. With feline grace, she walked out, seemingly unaffected.

She didn't come back.

And then I realized how screwed up my day was.

Things just weren't what they used to be.

_x__**x**__x_

Saïx was grinning.

It was an ominous sign, to be sure.

"So, yeah…"

It was another boring day, with a twist.

"… I like fire…"

And I was yawning and trying to think of multiple ways to escape Saïx. Did I mention that we've got another new student? Maybe this was the guy that Marly and Riku were talking about. I don't know…

Red hair – a relative of Kairi's perhaps? Green eyes, strangely skinny – almost like her. What was his name again?

"… Axel, got it memorised?"

And she… who _did_ chase me all the way to school, who _should_ be here, _wasn't_ here, in this class. Where the hell was she? Surely, she wouldn't be lost? Those detentions made her know the school from the back of her hand, right?

Knock. Knock.

The door opens, and there she was – _shock horror_ – rather breathless and pale, if you don't mind me noticing. It's actually kinda creepy, when I'm thinking about something and it really happened. Like just now. Let's see if I'm on a roll?

Damn. No ham sandwich!

"Sorry I'm late, Miss. I—Axe, what ya doing here?" She grinned, a blush appearing on her face.

"Larx! I could say the same thing, babe." He replied, mirroring the grin, and suddenly they seemed so similar – both wearing these subtle masks.

I really _didn't_ know her.

… and how does _she_ know _him_?

"Bite my metal ass." She folded her arm. "I was just here."

"You two know each other? Well, then I guess Larxene, you can show Axel around." Miss Gainsborough said, smiling.

"Sure thing." She didn't bat an eyelash, taking the situation in; a shameless smirk on her face.

And with that, she walked to her desk, not sparing me a glance, a mischievous grin, or a conspiring wink.

She… just ignored me.

And Saïx merely smirked, his eyes glaring at the back of my head.

_x__**x**__x_

She stayed true to her word. She didn't bug me. She didn't annoy me.

She didn't even _look_ at me.

Things between us were tenser than usual and the whole class felt it. Kairi was glowing, smiling at me, and Zexion and Marly didn't mention her. It was like this oppressive silence was over the class that seemed invisible to me before I… became mad at her. When I heard her speak, or merely catch sight of her in the corner of my eye, it was like everything… stayed still or became unbelievably quiet.

And things reverted back to the norm. Before her.

I hung out with Zexion, became amused, yet annoyed, at Marluxia and then sometimes talked with the 'gang'. Riku just looked at me, somewhat pitifully, snorting a "typical." _That _irritated me, but I had no idea what he was talking about. And still Saïx did nothing. Why did I get the feeling that everything was just turning into the monotone colour that it used to be?

Everything was drifting apart. Time slowed down and stopped, and the satisfaction that was there beforehand was gone. There was no sense of unpredictability, or insanity… just normality. But it bored me.

I hated it.

It seemed like I was stuck on an island, isolated; unable to reach out to anyone. But I should have. I should have found a way, I should have thought of a way to carve my path. That's what water's like, right? It moves to its own flow, its own rhythm, never pausing, never standing still. And yet, I hadn't done a thing. I hadn't moved on, I just reflected, my reasoning becoming twisted, refracted to the way that I might have originally seen it. Before her.

Zexion was snappy, and I guess I shouldn't blame him. I didn't _mean_ to lash out on him. I didn't mean to lash out on _anybody_.

She, however, was adapting quicker than lightning in the darkest night, searching for another way to shine, had found the perfect companion. _Axel_. The new kid. They were a great pair – they could always top each other, coming back with the wittiest remarks that I didn't have, and Kairi commented that they'd be a cute couple, giving me a strange glance. Days passed by, yet again, listlessly and dully, and every day, I felt just a little bit worse, a little bit more jealous and a little bit bitterer.

Know why?

Because of the fact that I had been flattering myself, and I didn't want to admit it. Larxene _never_ chose me because I was anyone special, or because she saw something in me that no one else had. I guess it didn't have to do with the fact that I had actually been able to handle her.

And then it struck me. When she said: _"it was something…"_ back then, before she pushed me in the swimming pool, she wasn't thinking about a reason, I interrupted her and never let her finish her sentence. For ages, I pondered about those words and what she meant – what was she going to say, and seeing her, just giggling with… Axel made me realize it.

Had Axel not appeared, she would have found someone else to follow her. She would have found a new plaything; she could have chosen _anybody_.

She happened to help me. I happened to insult her, not intentionally, mind you. It was a coincidence that day that we finally talked. It was a fluke that she happened to be there.

It just occurred, and we were the two people who managed to cross paths. It didn't _have_ to be me; Zexion could have easily been there instead. It didn't _have_ to be Larxene either; Riku could have stood up for me as well.

It was due to luck that I was just _there_.

And my luck was about to get a whole lot worse.

_x__**x**__x_

_Splash!_

Gargle. Gargle. Gargle.

Re… emerging.

Gasp. Choke. Breathe.

Take a breath. Hold it.

_Splash!_

… _shit_**.** I thought that I escaped this already. No, rather, I thought _he'd_ finally leave me alone. Or was it merely because… he was afraid of her? In that case, I was hanging around her because she was my safeguard. But I… I didn't notice that – I _wasn't_ using her. I'm not like her. I'm not!

But, anyways, I can't ask him if he's afraid – I'm not stupid, I already know what he'd say, what he'd do: he'd laugh, punch my gut, and most likely kick where it hurts. Again. Repeating the process, oh, I don't know, seven times. He always did have an affinity with that number.

"Well, how'd it feel, wuss? To be back in the game again?" My oh-so-special tormentor sneered at me, his thin lips already pulled into a tight smile, cruelly and shamelessly showing how superior… how corrupt he had become. His long nails, although, I should call them claws, or talons, but the closest he resembles to birds is a hawk, an ugly bird. Remind me not to ask Marluxia to compare my bully to his nature programs. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, that's right.

His long nails dug into my hair, disfiguring my 'icon' look, into a mangy, mussed up piece of hair… which was what it technically looked like before _she_ gave me hair gel.

… I've become addicted to the stuff. Don't ever tell her that.

"F-Fu—" I spluttered, coughing out the remaining water that I had inhaled.

"Did you… say_ something_, _**Dem**_?" Saïx pulled my hair, forcefully tugging it back, yanking as hard as he could.

I choked back a scathing remark, mostly due to the fact that I couldn't regain my breath in time. Water dripped onto my hands, my neat-ish uniform… which makes me look as if I was slobbered by a dog to death. What a lovely metaphor. Or is it a simile? Instead, I shook my head, spitting whenever possible, and breathing while I had the chance.

He had let go of me, I noticed, but I didn't act. If anything, _she _had taught me to be more on my guard and wait for the right moment… if there was any. Trying to continue acting pathetic – which was humiliating and lowering my self-esteem, thank you very much – I whimpered, I grovelled and oh, while Saïx laughed, I was murdering myself on the inside.

"What are you doing, Saïx?"

The bloodthirsty cackle of laughter stopped immediately. See, Saïx was a strange bully, but always seven steps ahead of me… or another victim. He chose them with great care; I think he told me once, when exactly… I don't remember. See, my life has always just been a blur, with me phasing in and out. I suppose it explains the 'gnat span' complex.

I breathed out, not moving until Saïx had left the… toilets. Yeah, where _else_ would I get my head dunked? A throaty chuckle emerged from him, booming as he walked away, which is eerie. It defied logic unless he had speaker phones or microphones on, which I doubt.

Now, to find out the name of my saviour, yet again, I looked up—

"_Riku?"_

Oh thank god it's not _her._ Wait. That would be creepy – why would _she_ be here in the boy's bathroom? Unless she sent her companion… Axel, right? Memory isn't my forte. But still, even she isn't as demoralizing as substituting her red head companion as a dog, right? Would she? I don't think she saw me as a dog, rather, a rabbit. If I was any animal in the world, I would be a surfing rabbit. With funky sunglasses.

Exhaling, I took deep breaths, trying to relax. Actually, I was trying to stop asphyxiating from the amount of water I had inhaled. Um, yeah – moving onwards and accepting the hand of help from Riku, I finally stoop up. It was a nice change compared to swallowing water.

"You okay? Kairi's been frantic."

I moaned internally. Yes, I appreciate the concern, really, I do, but… "And Sora…?" I bit my lip.

Truth be told, I don't exactly want to be mauled by two or more people. The 'people plus extra' came from the unfortunate paranoia that _she_ might be exacting revenge. I wasn't exactly sure of the means; I know that she got on the wrong side of Saïx, so he wasn't an option… and Axel was acting as indifferent as ever, clinging to her, his arms quite comfortably draped across her shoulders – that is, whenever I had the misfortune of glancing in their direction.

"Thinks it only as high-esteemed friendship." The silver-haired recluse finished the sentence for me, alleviating my fears.

I sighed, not out of relief, but the fact that Sora was predictable. "He always did see the best of people." Most of the time… that is.

But I think that his obsession of sugary things that rots people's teeth may be a bit more that just a health hazard. To be honest, Sora scares me – not like Saïx, but the fact of the matter is whenever Sora is ever _remotely close_ to a sugar withdrawal, he then goes psycho. Believe me, the teachers have often ignored him due to his hyper-ness and turned a blind eye whenever he scoffs sweets down his throat.

They just don't want to relive the incident between _innocent_, candy-loving Sora and scarred for life, respectable-but-now-insane Mr. Sephiroth.

It was a tragic day for the school.

Honest.

"Forget about it." I said, squirming while pulling down my shirt – to make my appearance neater. However, there was the fact that I _was_ wet. Hopefully I'll be ignored like usual and they won't say anything. Besides, I am _basically_ invisible; a Nobody, a mediocre student with average grades.

"… if you say so." Riku reluctantly replied, wanting to say more, but wouldn't. Because he hesitated, waiting too long for the moment to last. I knew he wanted to say more, but somehow he'd never been able to get over his 'complex' that prevented him from stepping in. It was only when he's actually involved that he can find it within himself to help. "Dem, you should—"

"I know." I bit the corner of my lip, knowing instinctively what he wanted to say, I've heard it before from other people.

"Then—"

"I'll do it when I'm ready." I shrugged, awkwardly interrupting him; desperately hoping that he'd drop the subject. "In my own time."

Riku nodded, walking towards the door. Shoulders slumped forward, he moved onwards.

"Hey, one day you'll find your own 'light'." I said, before blanching.

_What… did I… just say…?_

He turned, twisting to meet my eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched, amused but puzzled.

"You are, Dem, by far, the cheesiest, cliché guy, I have ever had the pleasure to meet, aside from Sora."

My mouth dropped. _Shit_. Now I look like a gawping idiot.

And… _and_…

"Sora has already 'brainwashed' me with that kind of shit." The silver-haired bastard said, smirking, hands delving into his pockets. "So the next time you say something Sora-esque, don't worry – I'll punch you. Not to mention, I've already found the 'light' – I'm waiting for the perfect move to sweep her off her feet."

Wow, I'd never tell him, but that sounded really deep.

"Are you going to class, or what?"

And then I broke my stunned 'trance' by having a spaz.

"Hey, you know, 'lightning' is a kind of 'light' too."

… _why the hell is everyone calling me 'Dem'?_

_x__**x**__x_

I sighed.

My arms were folded on the desk, my head resting on them. I was bored. I was always bored. I hate being bored.

It wasn't quiet, it never was, but the noise had yet again dimmed into a small chatter. Lessons passed within a blink, and I was too lazy to move.

So far, I was safe – Zexion and Marluxia were with me, so Saïx couldn't bother me. Aside from them, the classroom was empty, Saïx leaving with a sneer on his face.

"A withered rose for the heartbroken gentleman?" Marluxia asked, gently teasing me. He knew I wasn't heartbroken.

"Go away," I muttered, closing my eyes, lethargic as ever.

"If you react this badly—"

"Please, can you just go away…?" Again, I'm saying things that I don't mean. But even so, I'm not in the mood for Zexion's scientific sermons.

I can see it happening. My world is slipping away. Falling into a monochrome routine, where nothing was new. And you know, before any of this had happened, I was prepared to accept that as my fate. I was the spare wheel of the gang, the one who stared into the distance, just being a hopeless dreamer, humming a song that played in my mind. I could bear it; the funny glances, the insulting mutterings directed at me behind my back, because I paid no attention to it.

But still…

When _she_ came, with her 'perfect' smile and her 'perfect' grace, her world dazzled me. Hers was bright and colourful; unpredictable, going way too fast – I couldn't control it, but then, I never did, I never tried. And then I discovered that her smile was flawed, her grace only a mockery of a child's pleasure of toys. I stumbled deeper and deeper into the web she had cast, with all the blinding smiles and sudden stops and cracking twists in life. I may not have liked it, at times I may not have enjoyed it, but still, she provoked a reaction from me. And I guess… I felt like a 'Somebody' in that short destructive time.

Then I wanted out, and with another flawed smile she threw me away, like a child bored with a broken doll. But she didn't act any different.

And I still don't get it why it bothered me so.

Because sooner or later… my world will be back into a monochrome blur.

And she would mean nothing.

_x__**x**__x_

Someone tugged my arm, pulling me back.

"You have to snap out of this."

I turned, eyes swivelling to meet someone. I breathed out. _Zexion._

"Out of what?" I asked, the words not registering in my mind.

"Don't play dumb – you were close before." Once again, he spoke cryptically. Gee, thanks a lot Zexion.

I hate sarcasm. I hate being cynical, but right now, I can't help it.

I shook my head, puzzled. "I… Zex—_what?_"

His mouth pressed into a thin line. He's annoyed. What did I do now?

"Zex," I said gently, quietly so I didn't make the situation worse, "I'm going to check on something. You can go home, don't wait up."

He gave me a look that Riku had used earlier. "… if you say so."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," I turned, waving him away and walking towards the school.

Something was in the air, I guess, like somehow I knew that the water droplets were thicker and denser than usual, being toyed relentlessly by the oncoming visit of thunder and lightning. Like… a storm; a thunderstorm with rain. It wasn't a normal feeling, more like a prickle on your skin, an aura that you can't ignore no matter how hard you try. So, if my 'weather vibe'… er, intuition, was a premonition for the future of some sort… it was not going to end well.

Then again, nothing did end well. Recently… that is.

I blinked, finding myself at the place that I wanted to be. Nearly. The only thing that stopped me was a door and a few steps forward. Again, my daydreaming had taken me somewhere far away, even though this was reality. Sooner or later, I was going to find myself trapped in a daydream – I just hope the place is nice. But if it happened to be Sora's saccharine-filled dreams, it was not going to bode well with him. Even God knows that Sora will keep the sweets to himself by any means necessary.

I suppose that's the reason we call him… 'The _Schnackler.'_

It's derived from the word 'schnackle'. Or 'snackle' – I just prefer to add the 'sch' to it. It makes it sound twangy.

And no, before you ask, the word doesn't exist. We were just inspired by the fact that whenever Sora gobbled anything, the sound produced is a mixture between a 'snarl' and a 'cackle' – thus we have 'snackle'. Add the 'sch' to it and the word 'schnackle' is formed. Due to the fact that we lacked creativity, we couldn't find a way to start it with 'cackle'. We're lazy. We know. _She_ helped. I'm just blaming Zexion for reading Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll and _her_ for making a casual comment. Damn C.S. Lewis for ridiculing the English language.

… and Sora.

I stepped forward, ready to open the door and breathe in the fresh air and gaze above the school on the roof. My fingers enclosed over the handle of the door.

"So what do you think?" The strangely soft voice _hers truly,_ asked.

She didn't know I was here, I reminded myself as I tensed, and although the possibilities of her talking to herself were high; the odds were even higher that she was conversing with someone else. And not only that – the roof was _my_ secret hideout… that she must have inadvertently stumbled across. But that's beside the point. The point _is_ that she is using it and showing someone else _my_ favourite 'place' of the school.

"I think you're being a heartless bitch." Axel's calm voice flatly said, unset for some reason.

"You could come with me." She insisted. I could already picture her arms draped across his neck, playing with his long hair, curling it in her index finger, like she toyed with her own antennae.

"I'd bet you'd look hot in that uniform."

A ghost of a giggle escaped her lips, and I knew a smile was already reaching her cheeks.

"But not as hot as me." He was tempted to take her offer, I think. For what… I'm not sure. But he was taken by the idea.

Slowly and quietly as possible, I removed my hand from the door handle.

She murmured something, her voice not entirely audible. Maybe her mouth was in his ear or something. Maybe she was whispering. I don't know, but from what I can tell is that they've been awfully clingy lately. They had this 'connection', I think. Maybe they were a couple; I had never bothered to ask anyway. It doesn't matter either way.

"Why are you doing this?"

_That_ question caught her off guard. I'm pretty sure of that because I heard her breath hitch, caught in shock. In a flash it was over and everything was back in control. Just the way she liked it, I suspect; and there she was, hiding behind the mask that they both knew so very well.

"Because I want to."

Axel sighed, disturbed by this, disappointed by her.

"Are you sure?"

What were they talking about? I really wanted to know, but I wasn't sure that eavesdropping was the best way. The conversation between the two teachers earlier hadn't been much of a comfort or an eye-opener either. Both the conversation didn't make sense and only led to unanswered questions.

"Yeah, I don't mind. Come with me."

"What about—"

"Don't worry. I'll get it sorted." She waved away the odd detail, laughing.

"Just remember, Larx, love, you're playing with fire."

I shuddered at the 'love' implication. Maybe they _were_ a couple. They certainly acted like it. I turned to go, prepared to fade back into a pale blur, a tiny ripple called life, affecting only the skin-deep surface. But something she said made me stop. Only for a second.

Afterwards, I left, thinking her to be an utter nutter for saying such a whimsical and daft comeback. If you can even call it that.

_Whatever_, is what Professor Leonheart of Chemistry and Physics would say.

"Maybe the water will extinguish it."

_x__**x**__x_

Someone up there really hated me.

_Where am I?_ In class, sitting in my desk, refusing to look behind me because as usual, she is sitting behind me, on Axel's lap.

_Who am I?_ Me, I'm Demyx – resident Nobody who is currently going through a phase.

_What do I want?_ Someone or something to shoot the person up there to die, or at least quit bugging me for a while; Saïx is being a bastard, as usual.

These are the three important questions in life… generally. Actors use them to make sure they're in character. I use them because Zex says I get disorientated easily and forget what's happening.

I tried to shut my eyes, already glazed over by the fact that class hasn't started and the teacher wasn't here.

A giggle reached my ears, and it's all I can do not to get my head off my folded arms and glare at them. I'm tired, which isn't surprising – I've had trouble sleeping, lately. Resisting the urge to moan, I buried my head deeper into my arms. What the hell?

I moaned.

"… arr."

Like an undead moogle who eats brains.

My life sucked. Officially sucked. Why don't I just hire a chocobo and ride it to chocobo heaven? Maybe up there they'd have gummi bears.

"Morning class." The soothing and nostalgic voice of Miss. Gainsborough finally said, gliding through the open door.

It takes three prods of an extremely pointy stick – A.K.A. a ruler, to get me to stand up like the rest of the class.

I'm kinda hoping against my better judgement that she notices and decides for whatever dilly-dally shilly-shally reason she has to send me to the school psychiatrist. They never did find a suitable replacement after Mr. Luxord – none of the others were as charming or as smooth. Nor did they gamble and play cards with you while offering you strawberries and grapes and asking you what your sob story was. The funny thing was, after a couple of disinfectants, a glass of water with 'aspirin', tissues and a cheating hand – the world always seemed like a much better place. Of course, people always fell asleep in those sessions, no questions were asked, but he always took good care of us. I miss him. The only thing that he required in payment was… beans. Not munny. Beans. Sometimes runner beans. Other times kidney beans. But never pea beans.

He called it his 'fetish'; we called it his 'oddity'. But we never bothered to ask. The sly grin on his face told us not to.

He left the school because they stopped paying him in beans. A little peculiar, but I suppose we all came to accept it. Except Mr. Xaldin, but no one really understood him.

Anyways, the point is that Miss. Gainsborough didn't notice me and the person up there had made me invisible.

Moving on.

_xxx_

_Whump!_

What the—

"Dem-Dem!" _She_ shrieked, crash colliding into me while I hit the wall. Correction: the floor. But I think when you've been cornered between a rock and a hard place, the minor details don't make a difference.

Anyways, before I was tackled and after I was ignored by the teacher, I was running. Because school was over, yet again, lost in a melancholic blur and she called my name, I knew that she was either bored of Axel or that she wanted to torment me just a little bit longer. My guess is for the latter, although I did sort of hope for the former. Only slightly.

"Can… you get off me?" I groaned, my head lifting slightly, so I opened my arms. She, of course, was standing on my back, one foot 'gently' preventing me from getting up or moving. As light as she is, it's still heavy for me to move and stand up.

"Nope! Not until you acknowledge me." She shook her head, perky as ever. In a more 'apprehending' tone, she added, "You've been ignoring me."

I said nothing. It was true… to an extent. But, honestly, if she had talked to me, or something, I wouldn't have ignored her, I would be civil. But, I didn't want to approach her, didn't want to look at her, didn't want to talk to her because…

I don't know.

I'm confused. Confuzzled. I'm stuck in between darkness and flashes – _mere glimpses_ – of light. I need to think; clearly and by myself. She just made things eccentric. Fucked up.

"Aw, _c'mon!"_ Her foot stamped on my back, annoyed. "Say my name, at least."

"Fine. _Larxene._ Happy?" I muttered, feeling the weight lighten. She helped me up, and I was reminded of the time where she knocked Saïx out before.

"No…" She pouts, her finger on her chin, head tilted sideways, her tone thoughtful. "I upset you, didn't I?"

I didn't reply. But I looked at her, flatly and not saying anything. What was there to _say_ – she had been bugging me from day one. But still. She… Larxene looked pale, more sticklike than usual. Sure, her hair still looked silky and shiny and each strand of hair was different; flaxen, honey-coloured, yellow, banana-yellow, gummi-bear-yellow, sunlight-yellow… the variations go on and on. Her eyes were piercing, like a brightened sky or something. But something was wrong, and she was gazing at me with this… this _lost_, bemused expression on her face. But what…?

It was almost like a storm was coming…

"I did, didn't I?" She answered her own question, waving it away with flippancy. "Well, never mind, eh?" She spoke as if nothing happened, infuriating me, yet again, setting off this _spark_. "You know, there's a festival coming up, want to join me? Oh, it's gonna be great! With me, you, Axe, Nami, Zexy and Marly, we'll have a blast!" She clapped her hands, giggling at the future prospects.

"Leave me alone." I replied, uninterested, walking away. Too bad her bony fingers caught my wrist, tightening their hold.

"Hey, you can't just _go_! Talk to me." She insisted, tugging my arm back to her. "I'm not gonna let go."

"When did you think of going to the festival?" I quietly asked, not facing her. "Did you check with the rest?"

Wait for it…

"Nope." Larxene shook her head, eyes gleaming brightly. "They won't mind, though, they never do."

A split-second decision. A whimsical idea that had no commitment to the very end.

That's how she thinks, short-term, before running away from the responsibility that she 'asked' for. The laid-back manner on how she did things, is based on such nonchalance that it reminded me that it didn't matter what I thought, just: _hey, let's go with the flow. C'mon, everybody else is doing it!_ What if I didn't _want_ to be 'everybody else'? If my insignificance didn't matter, and I was dragged into these things – why did she bother telling me and insist on wasting my time with meaningless torture? What's the point of snapping her fingers and grabbing my hand and dragging me o—_hey!_

"How do you know?" I burst out, not caring that she flinched. "The way you act – I _**hate **_it!" My temper couldn't handle it; it was her fault, honest. I just didn't want to be acting like a dog anymore. "Why do you act like this with whims and half-baked ideas and take the nearest person to you in a downhill struggle? Do you even think about the person; other than a _tool?"_

I didn't want to be a tool. I didn't want to act like a mindless idiot. And I certainly didn't want to be dragged into something I would regret later in the future. I _exist_ – not as a Nobody, even if I feel like it, but as a person, a Somebody – for my _own_ reasons.

I breathed in, my chest heaving; strangely light by shouting out my inner turmoil. "Larxene…?"

Did I really… say that? It just… slipped. Fumbled, right out of my slippery grip.

There was silence for a long time, and I hadn't noticed that she'd let go of my wrist. Odd. I tried to observe her obscured face; hidden by her hair. She had tilted her head sideways, so I couldn't completely glimpse at her expression. But she was tense – her petite frame and hunched up shoulders told me that. She was straining to keep the cheerful and calm façade up.

Was she crying? Was she going to hit me? I already knew that she had a powerful punch – being an innocent bystander that faded into the wrong kind of the crowd lets you know lots of interesting snippets of people and their life. Roxas, apparently, has an allergy to marshmallows. Ahem. I was prepared for both, even if I would be surprised at her crying. She… Larxene always seemed so strong. Even if everything was crumbling around her, the mask that she wore never broke; never changed, and so all the people who looked at her like she was a nymph, a beautiful statuette, noticed nothing and thought that everything was fine. But she did neither.

"You see? Why can't you say something like _that_ to Saïx? You'd get him off your case forever!" She said, clapping. She was smiling, the white teeth nearly blinding me. She wasn't mocking me – I didn't get that kind of vibe. It seemed more like encouragement. And I smiled, a little flattered, a little bit more confident.

Why the heck is our friendship… relationship… so volatile?

"… thanks." I muttered, sheepishly, my cheeks going a little red. Not many people complement me, but, still, it's a nice feeling when the praise is genuine.

"Well, I'll guess I'll see you there at the festival then." She grinned, with overwhelming enthusiasm. "Bring gummi bears." Her rate of switching moods was exceptional. And skipping, flouncing, she clapped me on the back, and went away on her merry way, making her deranged plans.

Wait. What?

_**What**_ just happened?

No. No, _no, __**no**__!_ That wasn't meant to happen! I didn't—she!

That conniving little—

_How_ did she…

_**When**_ did she…

… maybe it was the gummi bears_…_

You can't blame me! I'm innocent—_she_—she dragged me into it, I swear!

And the weirdest thing was, even as I resolved **not** to go the festival, was that small encounter with Larxene had my monochrome world a whole lot brighter, filled with the most absurd colours.

What the hell was going on?


	4. four

how to save a life — **four.**

_x__**x**__x_

I was thrilled that I was not going to the festival.

Thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. Happy, happy, happy.

Yeah. About that…

So… I know I said I _wasn't_ _**going**_ to the festival.

And… I wasn't. There was no point, after all. It's a place for loser and morons and… people.

What I had forgotten, was that I, in fact, _was_ _**playing**_ at the festival… because Selphie had asked me. Along with Marluxia. And Kairi. And Sora. And the thing is, it's like a peer pressure thing, you know? Because when all their eyes—and yes, I do mean _all_ their eyes—turn ever so big and ever so sparkly, you… you can't say no. That would be an insult and – and it's Selphie, the chipper girl who is now dating the left out Marly. So, technically, it would be an insult to Marly, one of my best friends and… I'm running out of excuses.

Jeez, it's because they gave me a guilt trip. And I'm such a sucker for the fucking guilt trip. I fall for them every time.

So yes, this is me. Demyx; stuck in bitterness, as I slowly made my way towards school… and the dreaded festival. And I'm dragging the ever broody Zexy with me. 'Cause I'm bored. Crap. I'm starting to sound like Larxene now. What actually happened was that she 'persuaded' Naminé, pristine eyes and all, and then 'threatened' me, mainly because she wouldn't stop knocking on my window. And I only opened the window because she was grinning like a deranged idiot and that she was sitting on a tree. The tree that was near my window. Joy.

That was yesterday.

Today, however, was the day of the festival, which I'm kinda sure that you've heard me reiterate it enough, but I'll say it one more time with an addendum. That's a cool word. _Addendum_. Heh. Zexion taught me it. Ahem. Today was the day of the festival, and I'm screwed.

You know, it's such a shame that out of all the days, this was the one where the sun is incredibly shiny and warm, and there were no clouds in the clear blue sky.

"… I hate you."

"Really," I absent-mindedly said, not really paying attention, my hand enclosed over his wrist, my other hand holding the guitar which was casually slung over my shoulder. Well, just so you know, because I'm not sure whether I told you or not – I'm a prodigy at music. Like… I can play any instrument I want, and I can make it sound beautiful. That's probably why Selphie asked me to play, and sure, she's also asked Seifer, Fuu and Rai – resident street punks, a year older than us, but very nice people. Provided that you haven't given them a reason to piss them off or instantly side with Saïx when there is an argument. They hate him, and I don't blame them. It's all about the view you take. "Why is that?"

"…"

"If you don't turn up, Naminé might cry." I didn't _mean_ to say that – I just didn't want him to go. I hate… I hate going on my own. Moral support, y'know? And it wasn't as if blackmail was my first option. My first option was to knock at the door, say hello to Setzer – Zexion's guardian, ask if he was there, and then not quite literally, jump him and run. Look how well that turned out; he asked me a few questions in a flat voice until he came to his conclusion of scientific hypothesis, the subject unknown, although a number of things suggest that it's me, simply because he's not talking to anybody except me.

"Oh. Did you two get back together?"

… _what?_

"Zex, I've never dated Naminé." I said, yanking his arm so he nearly tripped over himself. I was annoyed.

Turned out, so was he.

"That's not what I meant." He said tersely, strangely rigid. Funny, I had a feeling he wasn't talking about her… but there was no—

Oh.

_Oh._

"You mean Kairi? She's dating Sora." I stated flippantly, not daring to mention the biologically related sister of Naminé. "I'm not one for infidelity."

"Not her either." Zex shook his head, and then huffed, using his breath to shift his side fringe back into place. I've done that before. It never works; instead, it just flips up and down like a… a frog. Yeah. _Yeah._ A frog; which barely ribbits, but jumps up and down – a perfect metaphor. Except that Zexy isn't green or spotty or stripy, but I'm sure that Setzer can be persuaded to dye his hair green and 'accidentally' give him face-paint, but frogs aren't as skinny as Zexion is. Nor as muscle-y. The person I think is as muscle-y as a frog is… Tidus, a guy who's in Naminé's class. And he has the brains of one too. If I said he had the brains of a chocobo that would just be insulting to the wonderful birds. Have I ever told you that they have the softest feather _ever_?

Anyway, moving on from frogs and trying to look frustrated, I stopped, and then continued on our not-so-merry way.

"Then who…?"

I suppose the answer was obvious; but… but, at that moment nothing made sense. Nothing registered. I didn't think, didn't act, I was brainwashed; I was a clown, a musician, a harlequin. And the way I lived my life had disconnected my heart from my mind for a long time. When I was with _her_, the girl who strangely intrigued me, and of course, _bugged_ me, I reacted and something registered. I just didn't know what.

"You're such an idiot."

"Hey! What's—"

"We're here. Stop." Zexion said, tugging and I reluctantly let go of his arm. "You'll be fine."

"Yeah, but… what about you, man?" I sighed, looking at him, concerned and awaiting his reaction.

"What do you mean?"

"Stop being so robotic."

"I could ask you to do the same." Grr… does he _want_ to annoy me? And since when do _I_ act robotic? Oh wait, I guess you could say that living your life as a blur _was_ kind of robot-like. But it's a different sort when compared to Zexion. I'm a… calculator; my buttons get pushed, and Zexion is a… computer; where data is process and reprocessed while saving that data on different hard drives.

"What will you do in the meantime? You can't stand in the stage, unless you have something to do."

"… I could… dance." His one eye shifted, trying to avoid my eyes. "I could… be a backstage singer."

I gave up and my shoulders sank. "Fine. Whatever. I just don't want you to be by yourself. Talk to Naminé. If you want, ask her to dance. I dunno, man, you could… help Selphie out – she'd love the extra assistance!" My free hand flimsily moved, waving and brushing air particles because it liked to do that, and accentuate my points.

I care about my friends. And I don't want them to be alone. Someone's got to look out for them, even if it isn't me. I guess I just want the best for them; because Marly and Zexie and Riku… those people who mean something to me… _important_ people to me… deserve it.

Man, I sound like my Mom. That's so not cool.

"Hey! You guys finally came!" Waving and jumping, emerald eyes sparkling, a natural born skipper, Selphie Tilmitt, hopped, skipped and jumped towards us in her usual eccentric behaviour, hand and hand with our much loved and appreciated, gobbledegook gardener: Marluxia. They really _are_ an intriguing couple.

Yeah…

It's the middle of spring, and it seems like everyone has found a love interest of some sort. Except me. And Saïx, but we can forget about him, because I don't like being compared to him, and he doesn't really count.

"Selph! Hey," I smiled; my head tilting back to check on my silver-haired friend. As I expected, he had frozen. I'm guessing it's because Selphie is a little bit too much like sunshine for him. Did any of you guys know that he hates getting tanned? No? Well, now, I guess you do! But… that's probably really irrelevant. Alright, if you want to really know, Zexion doesn't like Selphie because she's too hyper. And loud. And ditzy.

Why does that remind me of someone…?

When I asked him this, he flatly stated that: "The person I'm thinking about isn't a romantic. At least, not to that big a scale."

I… I guess not.

Today, I'm feeling like a space cadet. Does anyone else get that feeling? I do. I'm all spacey and think-y and nothing is connecting… and everybody is looking at me in such a funny way. It's almost as if they're plotting against me. Or as if they know something I don't. I wonder what…

_Doink!_

Actually, it was a flick against my forehead. This hurt. A lot.

"Silly. You're so silly." A shy giggle. A gentle smile. A pale hand. A heart-shaped face. Piercing blue eyes.

I blinked. And again for good measure. You can never blink enough. Unless you want to make your eyes hurt during a staring competition, which I always lose, but that's beside the point…

"Naminé." I breathed out, registering the scene before me. "When did you…?"

"Get here?" Her eyebrow rose, the feature resembling her older sister quite scarily. Except Larxene doesn't have mellow yellow hair. Her hair changes shades every day, or maybe that's just the light altering position whenever I look at her. "Um… I arrived a few minutes ago with Larxene and Axel."

"Oh. Okay." I shrugged, losing interest quickly. "I was just wondering."

Selphie must have sensed my awkwardness or maybe Marluxia did, because they were whispering in each other's ears until Marly gave our regular chocolate haired romantic a push forward.

"C'mon, Demyx. We have to get you ready for the stage." Selphie said, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward. "I want you to meet the other musicians."

I stumbled forward, before Selphie started skipping.

The last thing I heard with Zexie, Naminé and Marly was the blonde girl, who, as I'm told by Zexie, is an artist. And has requested several times to draw him. I'm sort of confused, because I'm not sure what the rest of the sentence was:

"It's kinda cute, the way he—"

_x__**x**__x_

It was a sunny afternoon. There were no clouds in the sky. It was… perfect, I guess. Perfect weather for the perfect festival.

Selphie clapped her hands, grinning with devilish glee. Well, I'm not that surprised. She _did_ organize the event. She designed the entire festival, and she'll be damned if it turned out not to be a success. Because Sora, the Schnacker, had combined his efforts with hers, and so, the wrath of two saccharine lovers will indeed be deadly.

This is also the reason why they and their allotted girlfriend or boyfriend got free cotton candy.

Still, it was _she_ who was responsible for this. _She_ was the one who had asked me an innocent question and took things too far – hence why she had thought that I had actually volunteered to do the music committee. So now, instead of a relaxing weekend, I had been purposely dragged, although I brought Zex with me, because it was revenge from earlier – something I should have done back then, from a quiet home to attend and participate in a pointless event. And while this seemed so painfully familiar, although the manner was completely different, it didn't seem as… 'fulfilling', I suppose. That's the only word I could use to sum it up.

"Aw, Selph, you didn't have to—" I began, shifting my guitar strap on my shoulder to make it more comfortable. Although, at the moment, I didn't feel comfortable being here. Let's face it – I stick out, always have and most likely, always will. Therefore, I don't belong to a particular 'group' as such, which means that I automatically am thrown to the 'outcast' group – the Nobodies. The trouble is, I always try to be a Somebody.

No, that's not right. I don't _try_ to be a 'Somebody' – I _**am**_ a 'Somebody' – people just fail to recognise that. How do they judge us? Is it because we're apathetic to some things, and act in a different manner? That's not right! I care about music, I don't care about arithmetic. People are like that, can't they see us? That's what I used to believe… Now, I'm beginning to think that people are starting to see us. Maybe. Just maybe. So this way, we aren't judged as being inferior, but equals.

"Nuh-uh!" Selphie stomped her foot, interrupting me. Curls made of wood shavings bounced, as the girl shook her head. "I want you to have _fun_. Okay? Me and Marly and everybody else who cares about you! Have fun, live a little!"

It was almost adorable, the way that the girl who wore a yellow sunflower dress with two baggy pockets was trying to pep-talk me. That's her speciality, though, her forte – she can give hope and make us react, with a childish tantrum and pouty lips.

"But…" I began again, trying to find an excuse.

Maybe it was because Larxene was here. Maybe it was because she was here with Axel. I don't know. It was like a seed of jealousy, or something, had taken place somewhere deep inside of me. Why hadn't I realized it?

"Besides, Demmy," Selphie sighed, using her nickname which I hated – it reminded me too much of the word 'dummy' and spoke again, "we have to get you ready for the music."

I couldn't think of anything to say to that, so instead, I fiddled around with the guitar strap, making sure it was secure. The silent gesture might have been lame, but it was something to do during the awkwardness.

"Do you want anything?" The chipper girl asked, giggling upon hearing my stomach rumble. "Burger? Ramen? Cotton candy?"

I had brought my supply of gummi bears, courtesy of Larxene, a reluctant truce and a… I suppose… sweetener. Still, they were for her, not me and I was perfectly happy with a non-saccharine product of food.

"Er…" I bit my lip, embarrassed. "A burger. How much are they?" I felt bad for making Selphie like a delivery girl. Sure, she was, in the past, a message girl whenever couples broke up, in attempts to bring them back together, but nobody really thought her as demeaning as a 'messenger girl'. She was… just a normal, hyper, sugar-dosed, romantic girl called Selphie.

"Okay!" She nodded, jumping in the air, curls a flying. "Demmy, I'm gonna pay – think of it as thanks for playing in the festival! Don't worry about it!"

"But I—"

"Oh, um, oh… yeah!" She smiled, before she took off running to a different direction and stopped, jumping a few feet to reduce friction and speed. She turned to face me, emerald eyes alight with passion at the success of her festival. "Keep on going that way, turn left at Professor Vexen's science show, and that's were the stage is. Seifer, Fuu, Rai and the others should be there. I'll be back; I won't eat your burger!"

She set off running again, her petite figure lost in the crowd.

I sighed, somewhat relieved by the absence of her presence. I straightened up, and again, made sure my guitar strap was comfortable. Then I walked forward, past the people.

Wait a second…

_Where_ was I supposed to go?

_x__**x**__x_

"HEY." The older sister of Riku gave a wave, beckoning me to come near.

"Hey, Fuu." I greeted, finally setting my guitar on the ground. "How have you and the posse been?"

"GOOD." She nodded, the briefest moment a small smile crossed her face. I see she's still as talkative as ever. Riku says she's happier, I think she's glowing.

"So… did Selphie rope you into this using blackmail?" I asked, trying to make small talk, even if it sounded a little forced, but I absolutely hate awkward silences.

She sighed, brushing the side-fringe which hid one of her ruby-gold eyes. It was a shame, but both Riku and Fuu were introverted and stoic. Although, Riku talked a bit more and Fuu seemed more comfortable with herself; both had found a group of people that accepted them. "UNFORTUNATELY."

"Demyx, man! How ya been? We've missed you, y'know?" Rai, the 'loud' one, came, bumbling as ever. I cringed slightly, mainly due to his catchphrase, which bugged the hell out of me and a lot of people.

"Yeah… I've been alright." I shrugged, trying to look casual. I doubted the last part, due to the fact that we've never talked much, aside from the 'help' that separated me, who was quite awkwardly running away, from Saïx, the killer werewolf. I'm not entirely sure why, but they did help, occasionally, acting as an obstacle to Saïx.

… that probably increased the chances of me being beaten up by Saïx more likely and the reason why he hates me.

"I see something's changed." Tall, blonde and brash, who might possibly be a reincarnation of Larxene, was Seifer, the resident 'gangster' of our microcosm. "Demyx."

"Seifer." I nodded, trying to maintain a 'cool', or rather, level-headed façade. Which, by the way, I failed spectacularly. For all my acting skills, I could never fool Seifer – he scared me. I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Easy there, Delilah." I scowled, he smirked. He always did like to call me girls' names, even if they weren't Japanese. Old habits die hard, I guess, but this was more of an 'arrogant bastard' factor that jerks had that he refused to quit. "I'm saying that even if I don't give a shit, you've matured."

"Pfft. I wouldn't be so sure." I rolled my eyes, scratching the back of my head.

"Oh, you've developed a backbone." He sneered, amused. "Gotten the 'Beast' off your back yet?"

"Do you care?" I shot back, feeling frustrated.

"Nope." He grinned, fully enjoying the fact that I was annoyed. "Tell me, anyway."

"Oh, fuck off." I can't help it – he's _really_ reminding me of Larxene right now, hence the snide comebacks. I wouldn't _normally_ be talking to Seifer like this; I'd probably be mumbling squeaky 'yes/no' answers and squirming, or talking to Fuu a little bit more, trying to get her to be more people-friendly.

"Interesting." His complacent attitude was actually getting on my nerves. I was gonna snap, sooner or later, because of people like him.

"Who else is playing? Aside from you, me, Fuu and Rai?" I asked, in a weak attempt to perhaps not get beaten up. Then again, Fuu liked me and since Seifer was dating Fuu, maybe he'd consider not beating me up? One person is enough for me, and I'm going to stand up to him pretty soon. As soon as I either gain confidence or moral support.

"A group of three – some wusses who go by the name of 'Olette, Pence and Hayner'; a weird surfer dude called 'Xigbar' – he has funny taste in music and our newest recruit – Vivi." The blond thug nodded, pointing to each person's general direction, snarling when he mentioned this 'Hayner' person's name. I'm guessing that they hate each other.

Oh no, wait. I remember Hayner – he's in our class but doesn't attend often. Olette, the 'good girl' of the group usually brings the stuff to him so he can learn. And Pence is a generally nice guy, provided that you aren't around him during lunch. So Hayner's the person that Seifer's had his latest feud with…

"Vivi?" I repeated, puzzled. Not that _Vivi?_ "Midget? Wears a hat? Has an obsession with the occult? That kid?"

"Yeah." He grinned, satisfied with my reaction. "He has awesome hands – besides the fact that he can scare a person shitless with reciting incantations, which is always amusing seeing other people getting whipped by him." He lowered his voice and reluctantly, I stepped closer towards him. "You wanna know why he wears gloves? It's because, Denise, when he takes those leather things off, he is an awesome DJ and the funk produced by him is mind-blowing."

"Really? That's quite different to your style of music." I wrinkle my nose, not quite sure what to make of the news. It's not every day that you find out that the quiet kid who enjoys playing with voodoo dolls is an expect DJ artist.

He shrugged. "Hey, it's good to have a bit of variety in taste."

"Uh-huh." Well, seems like that conversation has ended. "So, uh, what do the others play? How come you didn't mention Mulan?"

Mulan… the foreign exchange student. I'm pretty sure that she has a lot of admirers by now, and has been asked by countless perverts on dates. Just because she's not from around here, doesn't mean you can chat her up and assume she's dumb. Heh heh. I've seen a lot of those people suffer injuries for even looking at her the wrong way. Can I just say, that the sound effects (Whu-_pah_! Ku-_cha_!) in her accent, are both sexy and amusing. The pitch is awesome – from first glance I really didn't think her voice could go that high.

"She's a backstage singer."

"Oh. Right." I guess Selphie really planned this out. Although, I can't really see Mulan sing…

"Well, the losers in that corner, don't look at them, 'cause then they'll know we're talking about them and then the King of the Retards gets pissed, are pretty much the same as us – singer, drummer, electric guitarist and believe me, they're really crap compared to us…"

"Right… and Xigbar?"

He gave an amused laugh.

"Xigbar plays the banjo."

And they say that Mulan can't sing.

_x__**x**__x_

My stomach rumbled.

"Ah-hah! Found you, Dem." A red headed girl giggled, coming towards me in a not-quite-skipping-not-quite-walking manner. It was sort of a cross between Selphie, and Naminé.

I looked up, hearing my name being called. I smiled. "Hey Kairi."

"Hungry?" Head tilted, she offered me the uneaten burger in her hand. "Selphie told me to give this to you. And fries."

My forehead creased, I don't think I asked her for fries… "I didn't—"

"She's promoting 'have a good time', so we can indulge ourselves in junk food. Well, at least the school provides healthy meals, so it's a one time thing." Healthy meals, yes, but it doesn't excuse the fact that it's disgusting. "Besides, having the fries we can share. I brought ketchup!" She gave me a genuine grin.

"Thanks…" The words she spoke to me still were a sore spot.

'_Is it wrong to worry?'_

It isn't, but it makes me feel like a burden, and I hate that all too familiar feeling.

"Demyx, are you alright?" She nervously touched my shoulder, the contact lasting only a second. "You look a bit pale…"

I shook my head, and forced my eyes to meet hers. While her eyes remind me of amethyst, a precious jewel to be sure… somehow, it's just not as appealing (is that even the right word to use?) as the celestial sky. Even if it changes, and darkens as an oncoming storm passes and brightens at the first sign of peace, somehow the mere illusion, the ironic pathetic fallacy so more profound than the brief flicker of purple included in dawn and dusk. "Kai, I'm alright. Just nervous."

Suppressing a sigh, I began to eat the burger. Mm… I love cheese. It's so tasty… so _cheesy_.

The look of bliss must have crossed my face, or maybe my expression changed, because Kairi laughed. I blinked, slightly confused.

"You're so cute," she said, through her muffled laughter. "Weird, and cute."

"Is… that a… good thing?" I quietly asked, anxious of her reaction. Maybe it isn't what I'm thinking of, what Riku is telling me. There's a chance, just maybe, that I'm not actually Kairi's 'crush'. Perhaps I'm just 'eye-candy', because people assume due to my status, due to my passive behaviour (and getting dragged around) and maybe, Kairi is just bored.

I hate making a fool out of myself, so this time, I'm not to take the initiative and try some 'sexy innuendos'. Not that I would anyways, but the fleeting thought is worth, if nothing else, snorting at, because I'm a guy who can't really make them sound sexy, just down right perverted. Which is awkward and the reason why I'm not implicating anything to the pretty redhead called Kairi.

"I suppose." She nodded; a curious glint in her eyes. "I like it."

An awkward silence passed between us, the exception being snaffling fries being eaten and I could think of nothing more to say except…

"I like your dress. It looks very pretty."

It was. It suited her hair, and made her skin more radiant. It reminded me of dawn, or dusk, like it was either bringing or ending something. A pink dress, layered in black belts and silver zips. It almost seemed like an additive to Naminé's sunflower dress. Except for the fact that Naminé wore white sandals, with a blue flower that was touchy-feely (3D, people, it stuck out) and Kairi wore purple boots.

"Aw… thanks Demmy." I inwardly cringed. Again with the stupid nickname! A rosy blush grew on her cheeks.

"Yeah, you look very… princess-y." I should shut up. I should shut up. I should shut up. She might take it the wrong way. Maybe she doesn't want to be a damsel in distress, although, Sora would save her straight away. They are a fairytale couple; smothered in sugar and pink candy floss. I wish them all the happiness in the world and if the princess should have an affair with her valiant prince who was fated to die by saccharine intake, she should _not_, under all costs, choose the lowly musician.

Everyone knows that musicians should fall in love with either pretty dancers, or a wonderful actress.

"I'm flattered." She tipped her head to a side, before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Good luck with the piece you're playing." Smiling, and giving a wave goodbye, she strolled over to be lost in the crowd, no doubt to find her valiant prince who was by now, wrapped up in a big ball of candy floss.

My cheeks grew red. Tentatively, I felt the spot where soft lips had briefly touched my cheek.

It was a minor detail, but she had taken the remaining fries with her.

"Hey, Debra." It appeared that Seifer has found another name for me. I'm not sure which suits me more: Debra or Delilah… "We're up in five minutes. Better get ready."

"Alright. Thanks, Seifer." I nodded, and proceeded to get ready.

_x__**x**__x_

… right.

Well, to cut a long story short – my 'performance', a few songs with Mulan and Lexaeus – who is by the way, a hero: a gifted singer with the heart of gold, and plays the violin like a pro, my performance… to sum it up in one word was: _crap_.

Sure, the talent was there, I tried to play with all my heart and focus all my soul into it, trying like usual to push all my emotion into the one song. The problem was, even if the crowd of people, who were either swaying to the beat, or dancing, and may not have noticed it, my music sounded lifeless. Like… like something was missing, and I had no idea what. And it shocked me. I – I mean, nothing, if not music, brings me back to life; makes me feel like a Somebody. Nothing makes me feel more in control and to grips with life than music.

Music is the one thing that I fit in with.

So what was the problem?

I don't know. From what I can remember… Zexion was swaying with Naminé, a ridiculous smile on his face, and I saw it, right there, mocking me on the corner of his lip, just waiting to fully form. They held hands, barely visible from the crowd, but still glimpse-able. Sora was grinning with Kairi, dancing with his ethereal princess, the remnants of cotton candy on his face and a new bag of the sugary stuff was in his hand. At one point, I saw Kairi lick the pink floss off his face, before striving for her saccharine kiss. Good for them. They were happy. Marluxia was with Selphie, who was having a piggy back ride, even if they were staying in the same spot Marluxia was juggling her up and down, swaying to the beat, and tickling Selphie's ticklish toes.

And Larxene…

… was quite comfortably, might I add, relaxing on the spiky haired clown's back, and whispering god-knows-what in his ear, catlike celestial blue eyes flicking from time to time to other people and smirking, oddly smug about something. A dimple danced, flittering from time to time in her cheek, making itself visible and invisible from time to time, reserved for the musician. Axel laughed, darkly amused, it seemed to me, and several times during the first song I played, moved his mouth closer to her face, hidden by tresses made of spindled gold, yet as soft and gentle like silk. What was he doing? Was he whispering something to her? Was he kissing her? Her arms looped themselves around his neck, and Axel's hand quite caressingly teased her antennae, pulling it and reminding me of a child playing with a yo-yo.

During the second song I played, they stood up, or at least _Larxene_ did, a cheeky smile on her face, and she extended her petite hand to Axel, pulling him up. I stopped for a second, a momentary setback I assure you, before continuing while trying not to notice that my cheeks had now become red. My face became flushed too easily, which is incredibly embarrassing.

And they danced, lost in their world; bodies pressed together, head downcast but close, mouths… mouths near enough to be touched, to be kissed. If they were speaking, then it was done in hushed whispers, unlike a crackling fire, or a whip-like lightning bolt. There was something very secretive about their relationship, very mysterious and I felt like I was intruding. Not only that… but they weren't seen by a lot of people, as they danced just outside of the crowd, so unless people turned around, they wouldn't see the two classmates.

They stood still for a moment, at least half a minute. Something happened. I don't know. Did she say something? Did he do something? They stopped, and Larxene disentangled herself from Axel, both eyes darkening, the masks that they both donned broken and they wouldn't stop staring at each other. Her breath hitched, his eyes lowered, and she stepped back. His head shook, his hand sliding down her arm until he held her hand, firmly encased in his. And it felt intense. So much was said, yet nothing was spoken. There were no words, for neither of their lips moved. But in that moment, he pulled her back, back into her arms, crushing his mouth with hers.

I felt something then, I think. It was a twang of emotion. I hadn't realized it before. It still didn't make sense. At least, not yet.

That emotion… was jealousy.

_x__**x**__x_

I was falling through flickers of memory lapses.

Riku ruffling Nami's hair. Zexion pulling Naminé towards him. Saïx standing from afar. Roxas licking a lollypop, with a teddy bear in his hand, Olette by his side. Selphie's laughter. Kairi's smile. Axel stroking silken-made hair. Yuffie Kisaragi and Tifa Lockheart, two teachers… glomping Cloud Strife. A smirk. A wave. Fuu's humming. Seifer's taunting. Marluxia's teasing. A kiss. A touch. A glance. Saïx walking away. Naminé's giggle. Riku's shyness. Zexion's protection. Our form tutor, Miss Aerith Gainsborough giving Mr Squall Leonheart homemade cookies. Miss Aerith Gainsborough trying to stifle her giggles. Hayner and Pence offering people free sea-salt ice-lollies. Rai giving a random person a noogie. A smile. A frown. Footsteps that echoed away into the distance.

"Demyx…?"

Where was I?

I blinked. I looked up.

The sky had darkened as the minutes passed, and with dying light, the air grew colder and colder. Why didn't the people notice, as they passed me? Why were they unaware of the dropping temperature? Why… why had everyone attended the festival? Why was I feeling so alone? What changed?

"Did you see a falling star?" I blinked, my head turning to the sound of the voice. It was Naminé.

"What?" I shook my head, bemused by her reasoning. When I saw the sky, I didn't see a star. I saw… I saw a cloud. It was going to rain soon.

She grinned, lips curving into a perfect smile. "I wanted your attention."

"Oh. Okay." I nodded, the words still not registering completely. "What is it?"

She bit her lip, head slightly downcast, and blue eyes flicked from up to down; hand tightly enclosed in silent Zexion. "I can't find my sister."

I frowned. I had last seen her two hours ago. "Do you want me to look for her?"

She nodded. "We have to go, soon."

Sighing, I raked my hand through my hair. Truth be told, I had to leave too, if it got too dark, I'd lose my way back home. I had forgotten to bright a flashlight as well. Darn. On a side note, I still had the gummi bears in my satchel, which I had intended to give to Larxene, solely because she requested it. "Alright. I'll see if I can find her."

"Thank you, Dem."

I grumbled, giving them a mumbled 'it's nothing', doubting very much so that they heard it, and I separated my way from theirs. I turned to face them one last time, and for a second I saw them, Naminé shyly giggling at Zexie's antics, a rare smile that tugged at his lips, before they were lost to the crowd.

_x__**x**__x_

For exactly five minutes I wandered like an absolute idiot. I had no idea where to find the catlike girl.

Deciding to leave the noise and chatter that came from the bumbling crowds, I opted for a more secluded area: one that was nearer to the school. This way, it was quieter, and I might be able to watch the fireworks with less noise. Of course, provided that I was still here when the fireworks came. I sighed, wondering if it actually was possible for 'peace and quiet' and 'Larxene' to actually be related, except in the fact that they were opposites and using them might in fact be an oxymoron. Somehow.

The thing is with festivals, I'm always reminded by the facts that there are people who live so much better lives than me. Axel and Larxene… for example, have fit in so much more than I ever have. People like Sora and Kairi, now Zexion and Naminé, and Marly and Selphie too – they were _happy_. It's why I hate these kinds of events.

Surveying the ground, flecked with gravel, I spotted a silhouette completely alone and still. I looked around me, noticing that no one else was here. Since it was dark, I couldn't really make out any distinguishing features, except for a feeling that I knew the person. Which was completely logical, but it still didn't answer the nagging feeling of trouble that came with it.

I stood still, blinking and still unfocused, for a moment. Then, without knowing why, I walked forward to the silent figure.

"Hey, are you…" I trailed off, my blue eyes waiting for a reaction but receiving none. She didn't move even when I crouched next to her. "… Larxene?"

_Where was Axel?_ I wanted to ask, frowning. She was unconscious. Or asleep.

Sighing, I lifted her, slightly, making her lean against my chest; attempting to make her more comfortable. The next step was to get her to become conscious.

How was I meant to do that?

I doubt it's a tale like 'Sleeping Beauty', so please, don't get your hopes up.

"Larx…" I whispered in her ear. "… wake up."

Nothing.

I became acutely aware of the fact that she was covered in bruises, and a little bit of blood, and I wondered: what was I doing? What was the point of sticking around someone who used people like toys until they became broken or thrown away due to childish boredom?

I really didn't get her.

What _happened_? What had got her into this state? Sure Axel wouldn't… not after today's display of affection. I frowned. Larxene didn't have many enemies, and she hadn't recently done anything to annoy 'Kairi's band of followers'. That only left…

_Shit_.

No. _No…_ it wasn't possible. Surely not… Saïx?

He hasn't bothered me today, but I haven't stood up to him either. And he did leave early… who know what he might have done. That stupid letch! No, wait, it's my fault. Saïx is known for holding grudges, and ever since he found out who knocked him out, while saving me, it was only a matter of time before he'd get his revenge.

That utter bastard.

I hate Saïx, I really do. It was a one time thing. So was snipping off a piece of his hair, but still! He didn't have to get her involved!

So, I suppose, I did the only think I could. I apologized.

"Listen, Larxene… I'm sorry."

I held her tightly in my arms, before relaxing and letting her go; breathing in her scent (strangely reminiscent of bubblegum and fresh lemons) and noticing how soft and smooth her porcelain skin was. Maybe I was caught in the moment, maybe I was just shocked at my actions, but I didn't want to release her from my embrace. Not yet.

"H-hey," she mumbled, face a little red, or were my eyes playing tricks on me? It was dark, so maybe I was just seeing things.

"You didn't have to let go."


	5. five

how to save a life — **five.**

_x__**x**__x_

A firework shot up into the air and then exploded into a thousand lights.

That pretty much summed up me right now.

Although, technically, no… that's not quite true. If it _was…_ I would have been tiny little pieces of ash on the floor, being blinded by the light as I'm slowly being ripped apart.

… that sounded pretty morbid. But I'm not morbid, am I? Maybe it's because I'm hanging around Zexie too much. Or being bullied by Saïx or… something. I don't know. But I do know that I'm getting off the subject.

In short, I froze.

But it still didn't help the fact that I could sense her smile.

She yawned, bemused. I think her eyes fluttered open, and she snuggled. Against me.

And my cheeks went bright red. That's not normal. That's not right. She – she shouldn't be doing that, not to me, at least, not _me_—

Axel is so going kill me.

Ah—

Is she seriously grabbing my shirt?

Come to think of it, this more docile version of Larxene, who's currently trapped in a state of in between dream and reality, did actually look cute.

Kinda cute.

Really cute.

"Demyx…" Larxene mumbled, pressing her face against my chest, nuzzling her nose of some reason. Any minute now and she's about to purr. I can just tell.

Breathe. In. And out. And in. And out.

I have to remember: we're in a festival, with the fireworks beginning to start. Naminé is looking for Larxene, along with Zexion, who I have already found. So now, I have to find Naminé and Zexie, and then we can all go home. Separately. And not do anything stupid.

"… are you going to let go of me any time soon?" Her voice suddenly became sharp, almost piercing my ears, and most certainly breaking me away from my reverie. Well, what can I say? I'm a dreamer. "Not that I _mind_, but still…"

Why is it that I _always_ do something stupid?

Shit. _Shit_. _**Shit**_.

"Y-You're a-awake!" I stuttered, clamming up. This turned out to be a bad idea, because when I clam up, I bring everything closer to me, so I – _unintentionally_ – pressed her against me in a tight hug. The exact opposite of letting go.

"Of course I'm awake. Silly." She gave a light giggle, and yawned. "Why am I here again? I'm so _tired._"

I relaxed, letting my grip of her loosen, before in a strained voice asked, "You mean you don't remember? And what does being tired have anything to do with me?"

She rolled her eyes for a second, but again, it was hard to make out because the sky was getting dark, and not to mention colder. "I do. But remind me anyway. Just checking."

I sighed. Typical. And she ignored the latter question.

"Selphie's festival. She organized it, you decided to come, and I volunteered—"

"—to come with me?" Her voice became higher, almost hopeful.

"—to play at the stage. Not to come with you." I mumbled below my breath. "Not that I _wanted_ to."

"… so, I'm guessing Nami's looking for me, then?" She asked, lifting her head, although I'm not sure whether it was to look at me, or to gaze at the stars. "Well, then, shouldn't we go?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Let's go."

I waited.

She didn't move.

I waited.

She gave an impatient sigh.

"Demyx, is something wrong?"

_Not that she'd care_, but I kept the thought to myself. "Aren't you going to get off me?"

She grinned, a Cheshire smile spreading over her face. "But Dem," she moaned, rubbing her face against my shoulder, "I'm _tired._"

"So I've heard."

She ignored me and continued her catlike action. "So can you carry me? Nami won't get jealous, promise. And I'm not heavy."

God, she's a child. A freaking child who's playing with her toys. And now, any second now, she expected me to put the bed covers over her. Well, forget it! I'm not a push over!

"Aww, please, Demyx." And she used her big blue celestial eyes on me.

Stupid guilt trips.

"… okay." Yet again, my cheeks burned. "Just make sure you're comfortable, and put your arms around my neck."

"Yay!" She did as I said, and pushed her self up, making me acutely aware of the fact that I could feel her breath on my neck. Legs shifted around my arms, and we tried to get the positions right. At least, I tried. I'm not so good at carrying people bridal style.

I felt her lips curve, gracing into a content smile, a content sigh. So childlike, so innocent, so docile…

"Thank you, Demmy."

Oddly enough, I didn't mind being called that by her.

_x__**x**__x_

Should a musician hate silence?

It's supposed to be a different kind of art, where the audience is supposed to focus nothing more on someone's intensity, their passion, the moment where time stands still and stretches, while the player becomes aware of their awe, and a minute passes perhaps, where a silent understanding passes between them. There is no signal, just body language speaking instead of the vocal cords. And then the room echoes, reverting back to the normal speed, because the audience understand that the performance is over, and so they burst into applause.

But the _other _kind of silence, ugh…

I hate awkward silence.

And still Larxene held part of my shirt, enclosed in her bony hands. It's strange, to notice that even if she's always been a constant in this term, she's almost like a skeleton. So how is it… that she looked so pretty?

What am I thinking? Am I _stupid_?

Of course I am. I'm the guy who lives his life in a daydream and plays music, and has no friends. Not _real_ friends. People who are 'constantly' in my life don't count. Why should they, if they could be equal to sheet music that I have to play? All I would have to do is memorize the piece, note-perfect – memorize their personalities, and they'd be with me. At least for a little while…

Before I forget.

"Demyx… talk to me," Larxene mumbled sleepily, resting her head on my shoulder. "I – I don't want—"

It's amazing that whenever I'm around her, I feel so different. It feels… like I'm living for only the briefest second. And in that 'second', I'm acutely aware of everything that is happening. Especially since her arms were wrapped around me, while I'm the one carrying her.

"Shh…" I murmured, gazing at the stalls, we were approaching more of the people now, and we'd pass some stalls, too. Maybe I'll be able to find Naminé, and Zexion. "If that's what you want."

"Yeah." She nodded, subdued. "Tell me something. Anything."

_Tell me why Axel kissed you._

I stopped, tensing. Confused, I shook my head. I _shouldn't_ be thinking something like that! It isn't – it isn't _right._

"Demyx…? Are you okay?" Her free hand shifted, reaching, and yet not touching me. I guess it's her way of showing that she cares, but still—

There's a line.

There's a wall.

And I don't think that either of us want to break it.

I can feel her eyes watching me, they might be lidded, might be unfocused, but still, she's watching me. She's waiting for my reaction, waiting for me to move again, for something, anything to happen.

But we can't move. At least, I can't.

And her voice…

It's quieter. Much more shy and timid than earlier. All that confidence, the hidden flaws that were stowed away are threatening to burst. It's almost like she's becoming Naminé. If I focus, if I ignore the knowledge that she, our resident catlike girl who appears to be napping, views people as 'objects' not 'real', at least not truly 'there', I can see, beneath her relaxed exterior, that she's concerned. Although, I suppose the question is **who** is she concerned about?

"I'm afraid of not truly 'existing'." I told her, distantly, walking forward yet again. "You can call me paranoid, you can call me a freak, but… still, I'm afraid of 'nothingness'. All my life," I let out a bitter laugh, "I have lived, and yet, I feel like I've wasted those entire moments because I was so weak, so terribly pathetic. People walk all over me, and so, I drown, day by day, each time, just a little bit further, closer to the point of no return. I don't want to be ignored, but I don't want too much attention. I'm aware, terribly aware of the fact that I have no confidence, no 'outstanding quality', nothing that people can tell me I'm good at. I _want_ to change, I do, but something's stopping me. Do you know what it's like, to know something, and yet be powerless to stop it, to change the outcome?"

Silence.

She sighed, or at least, her breathing became heavier.

"Why ask me?"

She's right. Why should I ask her? This… quandary (a word that Zexie taught me), this dilemma… that I've kept within me… Why should I tell her this intimate detail, which I often worry about? It's not as if she's going be a sympathetic person, and coo and mollycoddle me, instead she'll rip my heart out. Or do something drastic that's along those lines. Actually, to be honest, I had a feeling that she didn't even want to know.

My eyes narrowed.

"I'm not. Why should you, someone so selfish, care about trivial things such as _emotions_? You just drag me around; you don't _care _what happens and _**bam!**_We get into trouble!"

Silence.

She shifted, her free hand now smoothing out the creases of her attire.

"I don't wanna fight. Not today. I'm…"

"… tired." I finished for her, adding. "I know. And…"

I hesitated, stumbling along the next few steps, trying to find the right words.

"… I'm sorry."

She frowned, wrinkling her button nose.

"You said that before."

"…"

"_Dem_," I could sense the desperation. "Talk to me."

Sounded like:

_I don't want to be alone anymore._

"… you heard that?"

Her grip on my shirt tightened, squeezing before letting go.

"Yeah. I want to know: _why_ did you say it?"

"I'm not sure I should…" I muttered in her ear, apprehensive of her learning the truth.

"Please. Or at least say something."

"Okay. I said it because it's my fault." She stiffened at that. I continued. "Saïx did that to you, right? Because of _me_. Because you're _connected_ to _me_. It's _my_ fault that you're hurt."

"No. No, Dem, that's not it." Her free hand brushed against my face. "It's not Saïx."

I drifted away for a moment, my eyes caught by a campfire light. What's even better was that it was empty, deserted by the people. I guess they found a better place to watch the fireworks, well, since the actual show started in a few minutes. But still, it was an open space, with a clear view of the sky. We'd be alone. And we could talk.

"Look, I… I find it sweet that you cared; but the effort is wasted. It's not him and it never will be."

"Then who?" I probed, curious to see if I could push her just a little bit—

"_Nobody_, look, just – just leave the subject alone!" She snapped, before reddening. "I – I just think it's better if I didn't tell you about it."

I wasn't in the mood to argue, so I let it slide. This time, at least. "All right then. If that's what you want. But if it _is_ Saïx, tell me."

"What? You don't trust me?" She teased, amused by my response.

"Of course not. Only an idiot would do something stupid like that. I _barely_ know you. You don't really know me, either." Even if… we've hung out for about a term. I still can feel tension; I can feel the uncomfortable vibe. We're like two strangers, sitting by a bench, watching the tiny ducklings grow each day, on the same patch of water and yet, the fragile bridges of friendship crumble and scatter as it slowly rebuilds. It falls apart as it fixes itself back together.

"… that's not true! I know you play, no – you're _gifted_ at playing instruments." She protested. "When you play – when I heard you play… everything felt so precious. Like life was meant to be cherished, and everything was so overwhelming, so beautiful, that… I nearly cried."

"Thanks." I shyly said, my cheeks flushing. I guess I'm not used to her praising me. "Would you like me to play for you?"

"Yeah. I'd like that." She nodded, leaning into me.

"Are you cold?" I asked, concerned. Now that I'm closer to the fire, I can see her becoming pale, not to mention that I could already feel her shivering.

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked; her voice only slightly sarcastic. "Aren't you?"

"A little bit," I admitted, stepping forward, and kneeling, so the petite girl with a skinny frame could lie on the grass. "But hopefully the fire will warm you up. In my place." I turned to go, at least to find Nami and Zexie. I wanted to watch the fireworks with them…

"Wait!" Larxene called, making me stop. "Where are you going?"

"To get my guitar. I thought you…" I trailed off, puzzled and saddened slightly.

"I do. Just… don't take too long." She nodded, the flickering of the flames making her outline more visible. "I…"

"I won't. I'm going to look for Nami."

"No, it's alright. They'll find us. Wherever I go, Nami goes. We've always gone together." She shook her head, cracking a nostalgic smile.

"If you say so," I sighed, shoulders slumped. At least there was less work for me. "It'll only take a moment."

Again, I set off.

"One more thing." She paused, the full view of her face obscured because she was turned away from the light. "Thank you for carrying me, you didn't have to do that."

I didn't _want_ to do that. At least, that's what I told myself.

But, I felt useful. And that made me smile. It made me feel ever so happy. Because not many people say thank you. Not to _me_, at least.

"You're welcome, Larxene."

_x__**x**__x_

The back stage was deserted. No surprise there.

I sighed, and rubbed my temple. What I really needed was an aspirin, because just talking to her is like a headache. I can't think straight, and I'm constantly making a fool out of myself, much to my embarrassment. But still, something forms, something weird. And I'm just about conscious of it, because the concept is almost out of my depth.

Because, I still don't know…

Head downcast, I made my way to the blue guitar. My lips curled, the bag of gummi bears that I promised—

They were still there.

I sighed, picking up the packet and sort of cradled it in my hands. I slung the guitar over my shoulder and leaned against the cold wall.

Eyes closed, head tilted back, I asked, not expecting any kind of answer:

"Larxene, what _are_ you to me?"

_x__**x**__x_

I trudged along, paying no attention to the hurrying passer-bys as I made my way back to the campfire. I ignored the odd glances, the mumbles, even the surroundings themselves, until I realized that I was disorientated, and had to blink several times to check where I was, and where I had to go.

But even so, there was no guarantee that she'd be there.

Upon catching sight of the small campfire, I cast my eyes around the area, wondering if more people were there. But no. instead, there was a lone silhouette, one who had apparently not moved, save to fidget while she lay waiting for me. Or maybe she had fallen asleep. Again, I can't read her, she's unpredictable. I don't know. But still, she was **there**.

Suppressing a sigh, I made my way towards her. She wasn't asleep, but she was gazing at the stars, apparently ignoring my presence. She didn't move, and I didn't say anything. At least until I decided to break the silence.

"This is rare," I commented, deciding to sit down and make myself more comfortable. "You aren't usually like this."

She made no gestures to show that she had heard me; instead I refused to meet her eye to eye, and feeling slightly awkward, merely watched the fire crackle and spit. I gave a sigh, and looked up, counting the stars, before giving up. Glancing at the blonde haired girl, through the dim flickers of the fire could I see that her mouth became pursed, like she was fighting an internal battle about something.

"Well, whatever. Don't talk to me. It's not as if I care." I muttered, knowing full well that I had contradicted myself. But… still. Being ignored, being given the 'cold shoulder', even if it's not the same as being 'nonexistent', its pretty close, right? At least, to me, it is.

She kept looking at the sky, her celestial blue eyes significantly darker, almost foretelling a storm. Or maybe not. There's a chance that she was trying to find a constellation, or maybe she was trying to find something deeper and more distant than that. Then she moved, lifting her hand to point at the sky. "A star's gone out." She said, feigning nonchalance, before asking the question in her mind. "What do you mean 'this is rare?"

I blinked, somewhat surprised. "You mean you haven't noticed?" Ruffling my hair, I proceeded to explain. "Usually you hang around with someone. I – whenever I see you, someone else is always there. It doesn't matter who, I've barely seen you alone. Whether it's Marly, Zexie, Nami, Roxas or Axel… you're barely on your own." I gave a bitter laugh. "So I don't understand why you'd want to be alone in a place like this, when you could be laughing or toying with someone else in the festival."

Her lips curved, amused at my answer. She even let out a chuckle, before raking her peroxide flaxen hair with her long fingers.

"Moron. Did you forget that I wanted to hear you play?" She didn't wait for me to reply, instead, asked me an out-of-the-blue question. "Don't you like being alone?"

No – yes – sometimes – _I don't know_! With those six, although technically seven, words, she had hit a sore spot. "I wasn't talking about me, I was talking about _**you**_!"

I don't want to be left with the curious feeling whenever I'm around her. I don't want to understand why she acts this way. I don't want to feel a burning desire to be her friend. I don't understand why I feel so frustrated or flustered whenever I think about her. But here's the catch: life isn't fair. It can be a real bitch at times, and at those times, it will 'bless' you with things you don't want or don't have.

"It doesn't matter, to me…" she said slowly, shrugging, "… whether or not I'm alone. The only thing that matters is that I'm having fun."

"You don't look like you're having fun right now." My eyes flicked over to her, casually observing her. Both of us looked relaxed, to the spectators' eyes, but I think inwardly, we were both seething, and determined to create a rift, another argument, for the sake of… I don't know.

I don't know why she acted like this. I don't know why she's so annoying and happy-go-lucky or flirty and mysterious and mind-boggling and disruptive and dysfunctional and contradictive. I don't know why it bothers me. But I know that she reminds me of the sun, blinding me, burning me like a moth to a flame. And yet, that sun, that flash of lightning that flashed across the sky, chanting 'Can't catch me! Can't catch me!' had dimmed, falling into a void, because not even lightning lasts forever. Eventually, it burns up, disintegrating into the rain, forgotten as people rush past themselves, stepping into puddles and ignoring other people.

Because right now, she's acting differently.

Catching my eyes, Larxene grinned, reminiscent of her usual exuberant self, the cheekiness in the dimple of her cheeks. "That's not true! I was having this great dream, where—"

Lies.

"If you don't want to tell me the truth, then don't, but I'd rather you'd not spin me this cat-and-mouse game, where it's obvious you're lying. I'm not interested in playing your string-along activities." I interrupted the girl in the middle of her rant. It may sound cold, it may sound quite off-putting, but it's better than switching off and then back on again when you don't know how long she's going to talk for. It's a rather useful tactic for Zexie, cold and heartless as he may seem, he's really a big softie at heart. But he refuses people to see that side of him. "I'd rather go, and play my music somewhere else, maybe earn some munny, than to be here listening you and hear a windup story."

I stood up to go, prepared to ignore her… until she spoke.

"Fine." Larxene's voice was perfectly clear, above the mindless chatter of the people from afar. I frowned. Her voice seemed strained. "People are a waste of time; they only slow you down anyway."

The fire roared; crackling and spitting, much more viciously than before. The heat was much more intense, and for a second, our shadows stretched along the icy field. And even then, did the shadows not touch; only widen the distance that both Larxene and I had.

I froze.

It felt like déjà vu, because I'm pretty sure that Larxene had said something like that before. Unfortunately, the mere presence of the irritating girl had made my mind go blank. I hate her for doing that to me. Maybe it was the whole mood of the atmosphere, maybe it was just me seeing the recent events, maybe it's because I'm yet again, doing something I hate, being somewhere I'd rather not be, and being next to someone that I don't particularly like; but I could not _think_. It was like I was only living for this moment, all previous memories of my blurry past forgotten, left behind in the icy anger that bottled up within me.

The flames were dancing, chanting their sick lullabies, almost urging for something to explode, for something else to spontaneously combust aside from the flurry of flames themselves. Light shifted, from one moment to another, only allowing us to see glimpses of facial expressions; before being swallowed in darkness. Blasted festival. The only reason I caught glimpses of Larxene's face was only because it was so goddamn hard to see anything else. It was only because I _knew_ she was there, that I decided to focus on her.

"I thought you said you were going." Larxene spoke, her voice emotionless, too sharp, too cold and calculating for my liking.

She was building a wall. Brick by brick, the foundation was rebuilding itself.

"What's _up_ with you?" I shouted, losing a bit of temper, my patience worn away by her rapidly changing attitudes. "What the hell is your problem?"

She seemed that she had caught herself with the slip up, and immediately wore a different mask, another façade to hide behind. "Secret! _Can't_ tell _**you**_! _Don't_ wanna tell _**you**_!" She replied, more mocking, more teasing, more irritating, just like she always was, the docile version hidden, as if it never existed, smothered in the lingering darkness.

_That patronizing little_—

I've said this before; I'm a pretty easy-going guy. That's why I allow people to walk over me, because at least they acknowledge me in that way. But she—she _constantly_ dragged you around, lied and cheated, smiling and laughing in that mask, always hiding, always deceiving, and sooner or later, people say 'enough', and walk away. They become frustrated, annoyed, angry, and I don't blame them.

Because everyone has a limit, and I'm no different; I'm no gift from god.

"Tell me!"

"Don't want to!" She poked her tongue out, deliberately acting like an immature child to aggravate me.

"Tell me!" I insisted.

Shaking her head, and giving me a mischievous wink, she said. "Nuh-uh! I won't!"

I should calm down. I have better stuff to do that waste my time with _her_, but still, I remained. But yet again, my hot temper exploded on me and as Larxene stood up, I grabbed her shoulders, with no intention to let go. And I felt her tense.

Fuck. Even now, she feels so skinny. So goddamn skinny. That's not right. That's not normal. And she's shaking.

My grip on her tightened. "Larx—"

"Let go of me." She said, avoiding my eyes, but struggling to flee.

But still, I caught it. That look – that one look, that I can't bear to see directed at me.

That startled look… beneath it was _fear_. Not even the shadows, and the flickering lights that allowed us glimpses of each other's expressions could hide this.

I loosened my hold on her, but not so that she'd escape.

She… she can't be afraid… of me.

"I will let you go," I mumbled, pulling her towards me into some sort of a hug, my arms crossing over her shoulders, her neck, "if you tell me."

_x__**x**__x_

I stood still, waiting for her reply.

She didn't move; the only sound produced from her was hitched breath.

Then finally—

"Alright. What do you want to know?"

_x__**x**__x_

Wordlessly, I let her go, and she sat down, her face expressionless, contemplating on which words to use.

I joined her, sitting opposite her, both of us feeling numb, aside from the warmth provided by the fire. It was odd, how the air now smelt so bitterly of burnt wood and foul ash and blackened blood.

"I told you: what's with you? Why do you act the way you do?"

I observed her, watching her thin mouth twist, as if she tasted something acidic. Was 'truth' akin to a flavour of lemons? The girl hugged her knees, pensively biting her lip, tightening her grip on her knees. All playfulness had gone, faded away into seriousness, an expression that seemed unfamiliar to her. I wonder if she was aware of it. Nervous, she looked up and met my eyes.

"Why do you want to know?" She asked at length, voice quiet but clear.

"Don't play games with me. I just do, so please, tell me – why do you say people slow you down?"

"You're being so straightforward today," Larxene noted, showing me that she still had her stubborn streak.

Her eyes glittered, darkened by the shadows that loomed across her face, morbidly entranced, as if she was in a daze, pretending to be a witch. I stared at her, committing the peculiar sight to my memory. I would have continued staring, had I not remembered that I was supposed to reply. Snapping, I shot back, "You're acting schizophrenic! What's so bad that you can't tell me?"

"Tell yourself! Think of some kind of conspiracy!"

"That makes no sense! I want the truth, I want answers… coming from you."

"You remember the story, 'beauty and the beast', right?" She asked lightly, as if she was merely commenting on the weather. I nodded, not entirely sure where the conversation was going. "Can you tell me… how I'm schizophrenic?"

"Hmm, let's see…" I mumbled, not sure what to say. "First, there's the 'playful' side. In that case, you're keener to do outrageous stunts, and the ideas become harsh and unreasonable. You constantly contradict yourself, and wave away anybodies' complaints, delivering them with pain. So… your playful side is also more 'Savage', I guess. You act recklessly, don't consider the consequences and become… wilder."

She gazed at the floor, playing with the grass, silently waiting for me to continue.

"Then… there's this more docile side, more delicate, easier to break; a side of you that only appears in moments of weakness, moments that only come when you're feeling vulnerable. And it is that part of you that rejects everything. I'll admit, you are far more kinder yet more selfish in this side, and it's only a part of you that I've seen a few times, but I… even though, that's the part of you that drives others away, I want to see more of it."

"… why?" Scared, almost terrified, she whispered her question.

"Because that's the 'real' you. That kind yet selfish part of you, it casts a spell, bewitching all who see it. Almost like a 'Nymph'. But," I frowned at the next bit, "you constantly change from one persona to the next. Sometimes you're the 'Nymph', sometimes you're the 'Savage', other times you're neither, but have more similar attributes to one than the other. And that's what drives people away. Because they're confused. But I don't get _why_."

"… why what?" Numbly, Larxene asked.

"Why do _you_ act like this? What reason is there to drive people away? Tell me about _yourself_, instead of hiding behind the smile, the 'savage' demeanour that befuddles people. I—" Cheeks flushing, I moved closer towards her. "I want to know you. Who you are, what you like, what you dislike, anything and everything, I want to know why you are like this! It's like…"

"…"

"… like you're broken!"

_Slap!_

"…" I flinched, but grabbed her hand. "Why, Larxene, do you switch personalities so much?" I whispered, dying to know the truth. "Who are you now? Are you the 'beauty' or the 'beast'?"

_Are you the 'Savage' or the 'Nymph'?_

And she whispered back.

"I don't know. But does it matter? Two _stupid_ characters in a book, nothing more, nothing less. Both fall in love, both get their hearts broken!" She shrieked, struggling to get away from me. "How stupid can you get? To fall in love, ha!" She sneered, her voice shrilly rising. "Because of what? _Bonds?_ An extended olive branch to friendship? It doesn't matter which way you look at it, both _die._ Because of _**love**_, why is it such a great thing?"

"Have you ever felt it?" I asked, quietly, just watching, deciding to put my anger aside. No matter how hard it was, because this girl, infuriating as always, needed patience.

"… no. Nor do I want to." She wriggled, squirming to get out of my grip. "Let go of me!"

"You still haven't answered my question." I reminded her.

"Fine! Both characters, the 'beauty' and 'beast', they are both serious characters, they never took the time to relax, to enjoy themselves, to be happy! No, instead, we have a lustful Beast, who angsts in his darkened corner, and a Beauty, who sits still in her library, either acting out of duty for her _precious father_, who is, unbeknownst to her, _dead_! And while this happens, she sits in her library, serious as always. Or, as the last and final thing happens, she becomes _attached_, suffering from Stockholm syndrome, lets herself gets _raped_, repeatedly. She becomes a slutty whore!"

I want to let go of her. But I can't.

I'm frozen. Shocked.

"Neither of them got to enjoy life." Larxene paused, using a subdued voice. Shaking, she breathed in deeply, before continuing. "The rapist dies, committing suicide. The whore is killed, in front of her barely alive _lover_—" she spat out the word, "—by the village people."

But – but that isn't how the story goes! That one is twisted, that's not a fairytale.

"Because of _love_, she formed an attachment to the _endearing beast._ Because of _**love**_, she became _**broken**_. And that's what I don't want."

"…"

"I'm not going to do anything that I don't want to. Sure, I'll make a few friends, but I'll be sure not to form any attachments. When you get to know people, you become obligated to do things for them – like the 'beauty' did – and be kind and considerate to the them, even if they know it's a pretence, even if you don't want to or can't be bothered to – like the 'beast' did – so I realized," I stepped back. "I decided. I _won't_ fall in love. I _won't_ make attachments. And I _won't_ live seriously, I'll live as much as possible, going to the extreme every day, and every day is going to be fun!"

"That doesn't make sense. The connection between that _twisted fairytale_ and you don't make sense." I shook my head.

"They could have been something _beautiful_, Demyx." Larxene whispered, eyes glinting. "They could have been so much _more_. And because they were stuck up, never living their life to the fullest, they suffered the consequences. And they died. Like stupid ignorant dumb-asses. Maybe the 'beast' could have changed his ways. Maybe the 'beauty' could have learnt to stand up for herself. In that way, they could have lived life to the fullest. But they didn't, and so they didn't live a fun life."

"Live your life, every day, full of fun?" I repeated, slowly and fragmented, dazed. But she nodded; something odd in her expression. "You don't look like you're having fun right now."

She let out a harsh laugh, hysterical. "Weren't they stupid? Weren't they idiotic? It makes me laugh, to know that two fools, apparently 'in love', die in such tragic circumstances. It's just _so_ funny!"

I looked at her, forcing her to meet me, eye to eye. "Either you're sadistic, or _you're_ the stupid one." I solemnly said, never breaking my gaze. "If you're forcing yourself to have fun, then you can't really be happy. No one, not even you, can be happy all the time."

"I…"

"In fact, you've never been completely happy." I realized. "Either… you hide behind the façade, politely amused, or you lose your temper. No matter how hard you try, you have slipped. You make mistakes. And that's okay. But the truth is," She shook, more violently this time, the pretty porcelain features that weren't obscured by shadows, pale and ashen, "you're afraid of sadness, of being hurt, of being left behind."

"… you're wrong."

"You're lying." I stated simply.

"How would you know?" She asked, numbly, no longer struggling.

"Because I've been there." I explained; my voice unexpectedly soft. "I've been to a state of mind where I didn't want to feel that, and to be honest, who does? At that moment, I'd rather feel nothing at all. I'd rather never let anyone in my heart if they'd risk letting me down. But then, how can I have friends?"

She shook her head. "I don't—"

"How can you _have_ Axel, if you didn't let him _in_? You say you want to live life to the fullest… yet friendship stems from that kind of love. To be in love, they say that is living life to the fullest. And my friends, Zexie, Marly, Riku, everyone… they've helped me. To be stronger. To be more confident. You're scared," I stated, sensing her tense, "and you don't realize, that by taking that risk, that _attachment_ that you so fear, what you hate, that way you live life to the fullest."

"That's your idea of living to the fullest, it isn't mine, Demyx." Larxene replied half-heartedly. "And you're wrong, you've got everything wrong. Scared? No." She scoffed, regaining some of that confidence that I never had, portraying herself with a happy pretence. "I'm totally okay with I how I live! I'm _fine_!"

"So," I chose my words carefully, "why can I see you fall apart?"

"…" She started struggling, jerking back. "Let go of me! I told you, didn't I? What you wanted to hear?"

"Did you? I wonder…" I didn't do anything, but I felt like I stepped closer to her. "Are you sure you just weren't telling yourself what _you_ wanted to hear?"

"You _bastard!_" She shrieked, lashing out, "It's just a precaution. Okay? Just to protect myself" She caught herself there, breath hitched.

I loosened my grip. If she wanted, she could escape, but I think she didn't notice, apparently caught up in her slip.

"Like I said, you're scared." I mumbled, "You reject and reject and reject until you finally are alone. Maybe Naminé will leave you, too. Some day—"

"Don't you _**dare**_ say that." Her voice reverted to seriousness once again. "I live my life the way I _want_. And someone like you isn't gonna change that. Besides," she continued, her 'happy' charade continuing, "Naminé will _never_ leave me."

"Then tell me, if you're not scared," I jibed her, deliberately provoking her to see more of her true self, taking a gamble, taking a risk. It would be worth it, if she talked just a little more openly. "Why are you so thin? Don't deny it, I'm not stupid, I _did_ carry you. Are you ready to come clean?"

I held my breath.

Instead of the big explosion I was expecting, she sighed, rubbing her eyes, diminishing before my very eyes. "… I'm tired, Demyx."

"…"

So am I.

She turned to meet my eyes, blue against blue, never flinching, never wavering. "I know you're not stupid. But Dem… Demyx, I…" Her eyes softened, before hardening, screaming silently another barricade of messages that was yet again incomprehensible to me. "… I wish you were."

And I couldn't move.

I can't think. All I'm getting is thoughts that fall apart… never finishing… never starting…

_What… why… I… she… what… when…?_

And I was slowly being transported into the world of monochrome blur. Where was the flash of lightning when I needed it, dammit?

"Remember the Beauty and the Beast?" She asked softly, "I'm not going to be like them. I _will_ find my happy ending, and guess what, Dem?"

"… what?" Numbly, I asked. Something… something was smashing… deep inside me.

"I _**will**_ use anyone and anything to get my way. Anyone who disagrees, well, I'm just gonna cut them down. I _**will**_ live my life the way _I _want. And you know what the best part is?"

She grinned, sadistic.

And suddenly I felt so far away. Black and white. No colour left. I was… _drowning_.

"… what?" I whispered, blue eyes glazed, face ashen and pale, hand – hand shaking.

"_You_ aren't in it." She laughed maliciously; as my control just lost it, letting her with ease knock my hand to the side.

Weak. Powerless. Useless.

"Have fun." She turned and left, with no remorse in her face, pretty blue eyes twinkling, silky flaxen hair shining, porcelain skin radiant and an almost merry beat to her footsteps, the only thing to hide her footsteps was the low crackle of the fire, burning in the darkness, cackling at the spitefulness that it had just witnessed.

"Buh-bye, Demyx."

Nonexistent.

_I…_

_I…_

_I think my heart just broke._

_x__**x**__x_

"Demyx! _Demyx_! Did you find her?"

"Dem, Dem, man, are you… okay?"

"… what _happened_?"

The fire crackled, hissing and spitting, satisfied. It danced, it chanted, it _celebrated._ It laughed, it cackled, filled with bitter and tangible mirth. Licking up the decaying wood, slowly being blackened underneath the fiery heat, the fire burned, smiting spitefully, radiating a bright light. It was happy.

And I was fucking miserable.

Someone was shaking my shoulder.

"Look at me. Demyx." A voice. Whose…? "_Dem, please._"

Resigned, I looked. But nothing focused, all I could see was blurs, dimmed imitations, weakened by the shifting light of the lecherous fire. How long had I been staring at it? The supposedly loud noise created by the fireworks were shunned, I couldn't hear them.

I blinked blearily.

"Dem, are you…"

She… she looked like Larxene.

Lips brushed against my cheek, my ear, breathing erratically.

"I need you to come back."

I blinked, incomprehensive.

"For me."

Nervous, barely audible, my clumsy mouth fumbled with inaudible words.

"_Who…"_

"Me. Larxene."

"Larx… ene…"

"That's right. I'm here."

Something clicked. Something woke up me, trying desperately to mend the broken pieces. Suddenly things made sense. But it didn't explain why Larx—

I blinked. The blur faded. Something splintered.

"Naminé."

Soft doe eyes glistened.

"… I'm sorry."

"She got away…" The words escaped from my lips, barely audible, and still I didn't understand _why_ I felt so severed from the world, the people surrounding me.

"Who?"

I blinked again, trying to focus. "… no one. At least, no one important."

"… _oh_. Okay." The paler and softer imitation of the implied girl mumbled, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I shook my head. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

"…" Her head became downcast, the shyness taking over.

Riku coughed, drawing my attention. "Actually, I have a request…"

"Yeah?" Distracted, I tried to focus on his words.

"… would you play for us one song? I mean, you were great at the stage so…"

"It would be wonderful," Naminé continued for him, "if you could play. Just one more time."

I gave a weak smile. "I can do that. Hand me the guitar."

Silently, Zexion handed the guitar to me, glaring, angry yet concerned. I hid my frown; he's going to lecture me later… no doubt I deserve it. I'm… I'm such a failure.

A firework _whizzed_ into the air, whistling in to the air, more eye-catching and appealing than any of the previous ones.

"… the grand finale." Riku sighed, "How fitting."

Ignoring the puzzling words, I strummed the blue guitar, falling back into the regular rhythm, losing myself into the beat. It was perfect, and Naminé hummed along to the tune. Riku, face blushing, reached for Naminé's hand, and slowly and slipping easily into comfortableness, they began to dance, swaying side to side. Zexion pointedly looked away, stoic but slightly flustered.

With booms and shrieks, and bright colours and pretty explosions and cheers and applauses, the festival drew to its end.

And no one told me, but perhaps no one noticed…

That if I had looked behind me, despite all that had happened, despite all that had been said, and I was not sure who was the Beauty and the Beast in this twisted, fucked up fairy tale, this broken mission to help each other out… if I had chosen to look back, even underneath the silhouettes cast by the dying embers, fading into a blur…

I would have seen her.

Larxene.

Watching me.

As the darkness fell upon us, and the storm raged above us.

It began to rain.


	6. six

how to save a life — **six.**

_x__**x**__x_

Not much happened after that particular 'event' in the festival.

At least, not that _I _recall.

It was raining… while I gave a packet of gummi bears to Naminé to give to her sister.

It was raining… when we said our goodbyes. She gave me a sad smile, that didn't quite reach her blue doe eyes. It's pretty odd that Naminé, as sweet and pretty as she is, doesn't have the same shade of celestial blue as her sister. Although maybe it's better that way.

It was raining… as me and Zexion walked back home. And of course, since neither of us had checked the weather forecast – although Zexie might have, had he known that I was going to 'abduct' him and take him to the festival – we were soaked. Side by side, our journey was in silence, but I could feel his eyes on me, even as we both shivered and broke out on into a run.

It was raining… as I gave a small smile to Zexion and nearly closed the door. And a thought occurred, because even if Zexie didn't live far away from me, only two minutes or so, I had a feeling that the rain was only getting worse. We were both drenched anyways.

"Stay overnight." I said simply. "Or at least wait until the rain is over."

"No," Zexie shook his head, "I'll stay. Setzer will need to know, unless you want to make him worried."

I shuddered at the thought. Setzer, however nice he was, was terribly annoying when worried. Not funny. Not even amusing. He would drive you up the freaking wall, and maybe then, the squirrels will befriend you. He hated squirrels, and believed that they were campaigning against him. Whatever – nobody is perfect, so I usually let this quirk of his slide.

"Sure." I nodded, opening the door for my best friend to enter my messy house. I stepped back, not really concentrating on anything. "Go right ahead, I'm going to take a shower in the meantime. You can borrow some of my clothes, if you want, or Marluxia's."

"Marluxia's?" He questioned, wrinkling his nose, surprised. "But he—"

"Oh, right. I guess I never told you. I meant Marluxia's clothes that he _bought_ for me to wear." I calmly explained, toneless. It didn't really matter either way. Since he and my Mom are such good friends, he doesn't mind buying those clothes. I get the feeling that Mom sometimes prefers Marly over me, as she's always on the phone with him – when he's not on it with Selphie, of course.

"Alright." He gave me a nod, closing the door. "Thanks Dem."

I sighed. Another reminder of that girl…

"I… yeah… I'm going to take my shower now," I mumbled half-heartedly, looking away. "Tell Mom I'm home, if you see her."

Slowly walking up the stairs, I frowned.

I can't forget that sight. The silhouette of Larxene, against the cackling fire and practise fireworks… it seemed like it was imprinted in my mind, haunting me whenever I closed my eyes.

_x__**x**__x_

I don't want to get up. Not yet, at least.

I'm still so _sleepy._ I don't wanna go to school. Leave me _alone,_ Larxene…

"Larxene? Young man, this is your _mother_ talking to you. Not that cute girl that you have a crush on."

… _what?_

I sat up, bed hair and all. "M-Mom?" _Shoot! Did I actually say that?_

"Wh-What are you doing here?" I stuttered, flushing. Oh god. I _hate_ my mom's wake up calls, and Zexie—Zexie—please don't tell me that he just—

"Mrs. Suzumura. Good morning." The silent guy said; cool as a cucumber, even if he didn't particularly care for that vegetable, polite as always.

My mom giggled, amused by him. "Oh, you're such a gentleman, sweetheart. Haven't I told you already that you can call me Yuna? We've known each other for a long time. Although, I still don't know how you haven't got a girlfriend yet."

"… _Mom!_" We are _**not**_ having this talk right now. Especially since it's a sch—

"Oh shoot, school!" I yelled, shocked by the sudden news. If I'm late, I'm going to be in big trouble…

And I face-planted into the ground. Or rather, slipped. My bedroom wasn't the tidiest of rooms…

"Oh, Demmy, it isn't a school day. That's tomorrow." My mom smiled at me. "I have such an adorable son; don't you think so, Zexion?"

"Yes, Miss Yuna. He's a very precious friend of mine." Zexion _grinned,_ in a happy falsetto voice. The nerve of that guy…

I scowled. He's enjoying this far too much and pushing it big time.

"So, mom, why are you…"

"Oh, yes – I wanted to see if you wanted waffles to eat." She gave another laugh, ruffled my hair and said, "at least I know now that you prepare your hair before you come down. Just like me."

"_Mom!"_ I flushed, embarrassed. Why oh why does she do this every time I bring friends around? "We—"

"We would love waffles. And a hot chocolate, with marshmallows? If you could…" Zexion interrupted me, adding a request. That sneaky little…

Mom nodded, her perfect haircut bobbing neatly. "Of course. I'll make sure you enjoy the best waffles ever made to mankind!" Practically marching out the door, once determined, it's hard to make her stop. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I wonder if she remembers that her cooking skills aren't the greatest.

"Since when do you like sweet things?" That's _got_ to be the influence of Naminé.

Zexion chuckled, breaking my thought process, and ignoring my question completely.

"I'm beginning to see where you get your personality from." He commented, allowing a small smirk on his face, "especially that temper of yours."

"Huh?" I blinked, mulling over the idea. I don't think I resemble my mom, but I've never known my father – he died, a long time ago, and mom never showed me any pictures. But at least he made her happy, genuinely happy, and apparently goofier and easy going. Before meeting him, my mom once told me, she used to be stressed and uptight, concentrating on the big things in life, the important ones, until she met him and discovered that the little things in life – like eating cheese and ramen mattered to, and above all else, live life the way you want, at your own pace.

Back to the temper business… huh, now that I think about it, Mom always _has_ been a pacifist, and maybe she bottles up her temper too. But she takes it out on the cooking; I swear she does, even if I have no proof, because if she curses, she does it quieter than a mouse. So I guess the only 'evidence' is the bad attempt of the meal. Although, she does sometimes take it out on me, the probability of that is very low. I, on the other hand, take it out on the instruments I play, exhausting myself emotionally and perhaps physically. Although, nowadays, I vent at Larxene…

"I dunno, we're not that close." I shrugged, stretching and yawning, not too bothered by the comparison made by Zexion.

"Even so," the silver haired genius interlocked his fingers, eyes darkened by the flurry of thoughts blazing in his eyes, "you and Larxene…"

I sighed, looking away. Why does everyone keep adding her in the same sentence as me?

"You were mentioning her in your sleep."

"What?" I stood up, not trying to intimidate him, but to see if Mom was nearly finished preparing breakfast. "I don't remember…" That's not true. The image of last night was haunting me, but still, I didn't remember _talking_ to her, let alone saying her name. I was… more like a spectator, watching the event again and again. And the more I watched it, the more I heard the sound of something breaking… each time louder and louder. But still, why was I saying her name?

"You and Larxene…" Zexion mused, his voice lowering, "are closer than the relationship between you and your mother. And yet, you aren't as close as you used to be." He looked up, not searching for God or anything, but perhaps for a more philosophical pose, "Was it you who changed her? Or was it her who changed you?"

"Zex… I…" Whatever I was about to say, whatever I was thinking at that moment, was quickly forgotten when my mom called to us to let us know that the waffles were ready.

"Demmy? Zexie? Waffles are ready!"

Oh. Did I mention that it was her who started the nickname 'Demmy'?

_x__**x**__x_

Seconds passed into minutes. Minutes passed to days. Days turned into weeks, and before I knew it, one week had passed. The routines were the same, monotonous and repetitive, fading into a dull grey landscape, music being my only sanctuary. I lived my life as a dull passer-by, drifting between waking up in the morning, going to school, going home, eating, sleeping, and doing mindless tasks of meaningless chatter and annoyances called homework. Again and again. The cycle had started once more; a pattern that I had gotten so used to before I met the annoying girl.

She… _Larxene_… didn't talk to me any more, much more subdued in class, hanging around Axel and smiling her pretty smiles for him, laughing at his awful jokes, and teasing Roxas whenever Kairi wasn't there, always in a friendly manner. Life… _my_ life, was a lot more peaceful. And a lot more boring as well. I had faded, watching from afar, almost like I had merged with the wall.

I kept thinking about what she had told me, cryptic as always, confusing me, rewinding that conversation again and again, until possibly it became a cassette in my mind. Even if… even if our way of life, our way of thinking clashed; we weren't that different… and that thought disturbed me. Whenever I thought about what she told me, and what I had said, I realized, kept thinking 'that's almost like how I am', like I hadn't become aware of how accurate those words were until they spilled from my mouth, blurted out in a moment of emotional weakness. But still, it was scarily similar to how alike we were – we both pushed people away, building a wall simply because. Then that single thought would lead me to a dead end, and before I knew it, I had no idea on what to do.

One thing was for sure: I _had_ to _talk_ to that smiley-faced-girl and sort things out, no matter what happened, or how hurt I get. Broken I may be, damaged and lethargic and always wanting to take the easy way of life, but even slobs such as I sometimes decide that we need to take these things head on, getting to grips with the situation. I have to follow this decision through – taking control of my life once more. And before I realized it, it was slowly becoming an obsession. Who knows, maybe this obsession had started before I was even aware of it. I can't explain it; I can't understand it, but maybe I don't need to. _Que será, será_. Whatever will be, will be. Who else loves that song?

Was I being stupid? Maybe her lack of caring had rubbed off on me, I can't say. I don't even know what my feelings are towards her.

Larxene… was Larxene. Confusing, beleaguering, bewildering… she was still Larxene.

It was as simple as that.

In the end, I didn't want her to run.

So therefore, after meticulous planning – which was hard for my part, I decided to put my 'plan' in action.

On that sunny morning, I walked up towards them – her and Axel, that is, because lately she hasn't been separated from him in a long time. Needless to say, she was in his arms, in his lap, and I coughed to get their – although really it was just her – attention.

"We need to talk." I said seriously, but that idiot, moronic and nymph-like as always, who had been pretending to sleep, in the flaming redhead's arms no less, looked up blearily, looked at me, flicked her eyes to Axel, jerked her head a little, glanced at the clock and made some lame excuse to be elsewhere. On those words, Axel, who was _still_ holding her, much to my annoyance, carried her, bridal style, out of the classroom.

Attempt number one may have failed, but I'll try again later. Just because the first time failed; it didn't mean there was a reason to give up completely. I must remain optimistic!

… just not as optimistic as her.

I watched them leave, her legs dangling, her arms wrapped around his neck. I sighed, forlorn. Riku tapped my shoulder; I turned my attention on him.

"There really is something wrong between the two of you, isn't there?" He asked; sea-blue eyes bright and piercing. For some reason, out of all the classmates, he was the one who was most concerned about our situation. I don't know, maybe it's because he hangs around Naminé so much, and she tells him stuff. Although, now that I think about it, Zexion _also_ hangs around Naminé quite a bit, yet still he doesn't question our… for lack of better word… 'relationship'. Maybe he's trying to repair it, maybe he's trying to let Kairi know that I'm not interested in her that way, I don't know. He has an air of mystery to him, although it could be the shiny and soft hair he has. Marluxia often complains to my mom about this, he believes that they are 'hair rivals'. However, Riku doesn't say anything about this, perhaps he doesn't know. In any case, it's not my business to ask, and to honest, that would be rising to rumours and such. "You used to be so close," he sighed.

"You think so?" I murmured absently, my gaze returning to the classroom door. "We weren't. Not really. We weren't very close at all."

Yeah, we were never really that close.

There was always a wall between us. One built on fear and security.

Larxene was always just pretending.

_x__**x**__x_

That day, as bright and sunny as it was, seemed to be cursed; or maybe I had pissed off God or something. For whatever reason, I couldn't find Larxene, so I could get this talk over with and find out where we stand. Where I stand. I mean, my school isn't a castle, it's not huge, but then again, it's not small… but still! I was running into everyone except her. And Saïx. I haven't seen that monstrosity since that night of the festival. Well, I _have_ seen him, I guess if you count classroom-wise, but not bullying-wise. Which may or may not be a good thing – I haven't decided yet. Actually, it's probably a _bad_ thing, because this means he's planning our next 'meeting'.

I loathe the thought.

"Hey, Kairi, have you seen Larxene?" I called as I scanned the corridors in search of my target. Aw, _shit._ Why, oh why, did it have to be Kairi that I asked? I knew that the princess-like girl didn't like Larxene for a fact. I guess it's me being clumsy again. Still, I'm hoping this once, just this once; she'll hope to overlook this tiny grudge of hers. Because, you know, she's _popular_ and usually has an impressive network of information when it came to rumours and the like. Scratch that, I should have asked Zexion… but, that guy is like the shadows, always hidden unless he wanted to be seen.

However, I'm guessing Kairi didn't keep tabs and ignores the details of those that she doesn't like. "Why would I? What she does is none of my business." She shrugged, not caring too much about the matter until she tilted her head, bemused, and asked: "Are you stalking her? Again?"

If only I was cooler, that way I could have shot down her assumptions with a deadpan look, which signified a very obviously annoyed 'no'. Instead, I goofily double-take, my arms waving about to show my surprise.

"What? Oh, no. No," I gave a nervous laugh, embarrassed. "I just want to talk to her."

"Oh. Okay." She put her hand on her hip, chewing on her lip. "She's probably at the roof, you know, like always."

"Thanks," I grinned, while internally frowning at myself: I should have known that. As I made my way past her, I stopped: if I was going to confront Larxene, why not confront Kairi first – a confidence builder, if you will. "Why do you hate Larxene?"

She stopped, and gave me an awkward chuckle. "Hate? I don't hate her, Demmy. She… she hasn't given me a reason to _hate_ her. I just," she sighed, "I guess I don't like her because I don't want _you_ to get hurt. I'm doing this because I – because you're my friend. And I care for you."

I looked away, uncomfortable. Was she going to confess, before she changed her words? "Kairi, thank you. But, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to worry about me."

"But—"

"_Too much,_ Kai. You're worrying _too much._ I can take care of myself. I…" Breathing out, I decided to confront Riku's report. "I don't know what you see me as; a friend, a crush, a possible boyfriend, I don't know. But I do know that I see you as a sister, and to be honest, that's all I want you to be. You're nice, and you have Sora. Be happy with him."

I walked away, until she spoke again.

"You too."

"Huh?" I looked back, but she didn't look at me, laughing and crying hysterically. "What are you talking about?"

"I want you to be happy. Even if it's with _her_, I want you to be _**happy**_."

I sent her a small smile, and I wonder if she caught it. Whether or not she had a crush on me, whether or not it was just a rumour… I had cut that link, making it clear to her where I stand. Even if I was afraid of her temper, even if I was scared to know what would happen next, I wanted her to know that. I didn't want to lead her on, although I didn't know if I was actually leading her on. I'm getting a little bit confused in these statement-thingy-ma-bobs.

… I just hope to God that I'm not turning into Sora.

Wait. Wait. _Wait._

"… _her_?"

I froze. Her? Who was _her?_ Surely… surely… not _that_ her. That pesky little stupid and extremely elusive blonde creature _her?_

… I suppose I _am_ trying to _**catch**_ her…

And the best place to catch a creature such as _Larxene_ is to go to its favourite place, aside from its habitat, since I still don't know where she lived. To the rooftop!

_x__**x**__x_

In the end I did _not_ find the rare blonde beauty-slash-beast creature.

Instead I found a red-haired, emerald eyed, and perhaps equally if not more so, skinny thing. _Axel._ As I closed the door to the rooftop, I breathed out yet another exasperated sigh. Why was it that I'm running into skinny redheads, and _not_ Larxene?

Oh. He smoked. I guess that explained the smell.

"Hey Axel… where's Larxene?" I stepped out onto the roof, joining my fellow classmate by the railings that overlooked the school grounds and once that I thought Larxene was going to 'jump' off.

Exhaling from his cigarette, and maintaining that cool posture, he looked at me, and asked, amused, "Larxy isn't in her class?"

It appears that all red head are clueless, or perhaps the only ones that I know are.

"Axel, she _was,_" I sighed, completely miffed by her escape, "as were you. We're classmates, for God's sake. And I dunno, she scarpered like she usually does. But… you've been hanging around her, always by her side, haven't you? I want to know… how is she? Um, I mean…" I stuttered, stumbling for plausible words. I've never really talked to Axel much. "How does she treat you? What's she like around you? More importantly, how does she act around you?"

He let out an amused chuckle. "What do you think? She's a sadistically bipolar. A dominatrix. Tries to take control of things then drops them and confuses the hell out of them. Loses her temper, flirts, generally goes up and down with her mood swings, almost as good as a manic depressive. She moans, she complains, laughs, acting like a normal hormonal teenager and of course with the side effect of her being a woman… is a complete bitch when she's PMSing." He smirked, proud. "And of course, acts strangely and impulsively like a delusional kid."

"The latter sounds like the Larxene I know," I muttered, nodding somewhat.

"You'd know better than I do about Larxene." Axel sighed, deciding to fully face me, instead of just directing his head at me. "Want a cig?"

"What? Where'd you get that idea from?" As usual, being caught off guard by his statement caused me to blurt out embarrassing things. Was that a threat beneath that comment?

"Guess that's a no, then." He sighed, and resumed gazing at the ground. "Just in case you're interested, Larxene doesn't smoke, either."

I frowned. Why was he telling me that? More to the point, he had avoided the question that had been asked. I was right, they _were_ alike, both of them wearing their masks with no intention of discarding it. His, however, appeared to be a little bit more flexible, or was that only because he was alone and without the normal company… Larxene and Roxas.

"You're the boyfriend," I retorted, shooting back an answer. "You should know her better than I do."

His smirk widened, twisting just a little bit more. "Is that what you think? You think… that _Larxene_… is my 'girlfriend'."

"What… um, well, everyone has been saying…" I backtracked, trying to not feel the focused stare that the flaming redhead had. "… and you're always together, you know, and she's," I gulped, nervous, and trying not to sound jealous or anything, "_hugging_ you and you know, being a lot more intimate than I've ever seen her. Plus," I looked away, mumbling the next part, "I saw you kiss in the festival."

Why, oh _why_ do I feel like I've got the wrong end of the stick?

He laughed at that, amused. On top of that, he started to _clap._ If I had any esteem now, it's been shot at multiple times and been left to die. I'm trying to confront these things and what I get in return is to become an aeroplane and being taken over by a group of terrorists that take over and intentionally crash land the aircraft where it explodes into pretty explosions and wonderful sound effects. That's pretty graphic, folks. Leaving out the blood splatter; that is.

Okay, that does it. I've been hanging around her too much. That, or since we haven't been talking as much as we used to, my snarky side of me has replicated into a substitute Larxene.

"Okay, first of all, Dem," Axel turned to face me, cigarette in his hand, while sitting on the railings, "you've got to rise above all these rumours, rise above the bait. Don't get pulled in simply because it's a lot easier than resisting. You want to see if a rumour is true, you confront it… or you ignore it. Not everything you see is as it seems, and not everything you hear is true."

"Right." I nodded.

"Second, about me and Larx, we go _way_ back." He rolled his eyes, smirking. "We _were_ girlfriend and boyfriend… once upon a time."

I let out my breath, not realizing that I had held it in. "So what happened?"

"What do you think?" He breathed in the cigarette, before sighing, the smoke all too visible. "She left. No warning. No trace. Like she never existed. Although, she cried." He recalled, emerald eyes narrowing, misting over. "The last time I saw her… she cried. She said sorry. She held my hand. She hugged me. I gave her a piggy back ride; she gave me an amazing last kiss. But still, in the end, she left."

"Did you ever find out why?"

"Yep. Doesn't make it my business to tell you, though. Got it memorized?" The spiky, porcupined redhead gave a bitter smirk.

"Okay," I could find that out by being me. I'll do it my way. "Then I've got two more questions for you, Axel."

"Go right head, shoot." He gestured, emerald eyes sparkling.

"So, what are you and Larxene now?" With a beating heart, I asked my number one question.

"Good chums. Not quite best mates, that position is reserved for some other lucky bastard. Not fuck-buddies. Not girlfriend and boyfriend. Just… friends; friends with benefits. Until me or her get a partner, a gentleman caller, a lover, become a lovebird… call it what you will. We just plan to have a good time, in the short run, that's all we want; an idyllic life."

"Oh. Right." Disappointed, I lowered my head.

"Heh, you're jealous." He mocked me, teasing me in a very Larxene-like fashion. "That's why you care so much about our relationship."

"Am not!" I snapped back.

He smirked, the corners of his mouth rising higher and higher. "Denial is the first step to admitting it. Or something similar to that, I never got round to memorizing that. Eh, whatever, I don't blame you; I used to be the same. Hell, I _am_ the same."

"…"

"The difference between us is that you got closer than I did. To her."

What could I say to that? Should I laugh, because that was a blatant lie – we've _always_ been distant. The wall has been apparent since the start. I haven't broken down her boundaries; I haven't changed her or anything. Nothing has changed except now she's pushed me away, and I'm not going to stop pursuing her. I will talk to her and I will find her. Although, it might be better if I did that in the reverse order.

I will find her, and I will talk to her. And that's where it ends.

"Next question, are you in love with her?" I carefully asked.

He jumped off the railings at that, stiffening. "What makes you say that?"

I shrug, nonchalant. "Where to start… the way you look at her, the way you comply to her every whim, the way you look, talk, think, carry her? Isn't that obvious?"

"Like I said, you're no different." Axel raised up his hand in defeat, "I reckon it takes one to know one. That means that _you_ are absolutely _smitten_ with her."

What? No._ No. __**No.**_

"I think you've got the wrong idea, Axel." I tersely said. "I'm not _smitten_ by her."

"_I_ think," he slowly enunciated, "that you're afraid of admitting the truth, hence the denial."

"I'm leaving." Frustrated, I flung the door open.

"What was the second question, Dem?" Axel quietly asked. "I want to know."

"It's not really that important," I suddenly found my shoes a lot more interesting than before. "But if you really want to know: are those tattoos or scar marks under your eyes?"

This, he threw his head back, completely entertained with the question.

"She said you were amusing, I guess I didn't realize how funny you were." He gasped between bouts of laughter. "I guess I was wrong. Well, they're tattoos. Long ago, she said that she liked men with tattoos. Got them pretty soon after she left. She smiled at that when I told her."

"Okay. Thanks. This is goodbye now." I nodded, wondering how Larxene attracted nutcases. Wait, wait, did that mean that _I _was a nutcase? I've always considered myself pretty normal… I quietly shut the door behind me, before breaking out on a run.

After all, I've got to catch a Savage Nymph.

A 'Beautiful Beast'.

A 'Beastly Beauty'.

In the end, she's just Larxene.

_x__**x**__x_

I've checked the entire frickin' school and I cannot find her.

That's so not cool.

This left… only one place. The school swimming pool.

And oh, guess who I found with Larxene? A silver monstrosity.

That right! Not the silent Zexy… or the mysterious Riku… but the fiendish Saïx.

_Fuck._ That's that my only thought. _Fuck. Fuck. __**Fuck**__._

And instead of running, my legs – without my permission – were moving forward. Kind of like Wallace and Grommet except for the fact that I _have_ got the right pair of trousers (if I hadn't the school would have given me detention) and there is no evil penguin with a glove for a hat controlling me. Either way, it's not a cheery thought. Alas, since today I have decided to confront people, why not add Saïx too?

… I'd rather run. And take the easy way out.

Except I didn't like what I was seeing: Saïx had cornered Larxene, so if he took one more step, one single breath, he would make her fall into the pool. To be more honest, that wasn't completely right. It's not that he'd _push_ her in; rather, he's got her neck in his hand, and yes she's struggling, for lack of oxygen I dare say, but with one more step, he could make her _**fall**_ into the pool. Here's the problem: I don't know if she can swim or not. If she did, then _great_, if not, _shit._

"Let her go, Saïx." I called out, walking towards them. I could feel Larxene's piercing eyes gaze at me, before she continued struggling.

She bit him.

Childish, yes; but effective… I think.

"Ow! That hurt, you little _bitch._" He turned his head to my direction, snarling. "Make me, Dummy."

"Why the hell are you doing this to her? She's got nothing to do with you!" I called out.

He cackled at this, darkly amused. "Nothing to do with me? _Nothing?_ Oh, sweet Kingdom Hearts, you know as well as I do that there's always a reason why I do things, huh, Dumpster? Do you remember now?" He taunted me, tightening his grip on the girl.

Oh God. _Larxene!_

… why was my heart beating so much?

Fear. Confrontation. Saïx. Her. What other reason could there be?

I'm afraid, I'll admit. I don't want to do this, but if I don't… what will happen next? To Larxene… to Saïx… to me… I'm terrified, and it's not easy facing my fears, because most of the time there's always this person, behind you, whispering that you can do it later, that it's better if you prepare for these things.

But then… maybe I'm not doing this for me… but for her.

Figuratively speaking. Hypothetically. Theoretically. Maybe I'm going to do this to prove to her that I _can _in fact, stand up for myself, can live the life _I_ want, making my own decisions. She never pushed me to do _this_, she pushed me only to drive me away from her, but in doing so… somehow I gained the courage. Maybe… in the end, I was just waiting for her to clap for me, amused at my antics, praising in her eccentric ways… still, she's showing me that I exist, that she appreciated my existence.

_Do I remember now?_

Remember what? A feeling? Fear… excitement… thrill… her?

Saïx's preferred method of bullying? Oh. _Oh. __**Shit.**_

Really, is there no other way of showing my displeasure than by cursing? If our old psychiatrist Luxord knew, then surely he would have been profoundly disappointed. He would have called it crude and vulgar. I guess we call it 'being a teenager'. Cussing and swearing and doing a lot of illegal things at its best.

To be honest, Saïx never used his preferred method on me… mainly because I was so distant with everyone, and Kairi and the gang were popular. He feared Zexion and was allergic to flowers… another one of those damn hay fever people. Not that I have anything against them – I just find it annoying sometimes to see people randomly crying or wiping their nose because a flower made them do it.

... aside from being cynical, I'm getting off the point.

Right: Saïx _loved_ using other people. Using them to hurt others, all for his 'targets'. It was cruel, it was nasty, but it was an opportunity that Saïx could not pass up. Because in the end, he got to practise more of his brute strength beating other people up, crushing their morale, isolating and alienating them and completely smashing their heart up in the process. It was a win-win situation in Saïx's eyes.

And Larxene… had become an important person in my life.

Therefore, he would use her; hurt her… all to spite me.

_Bastard._

"Leave her out of this!" I ran up to him, punching him, if a bit pathetically. I didn't use my full strength, and it only served to startle him.

… or piss him off.

"Hey, I heard something interesting, Larxene: you _can't swim."_ He snarled, leering at the pale girl.

_Shit._

So not good. And now what am I going to do? I'm not a knight in shining armour, although come to think of it… she's definitely not a princess. I hardly think that dubbing her 'damsel in distress' would be appropriate. In this context it might be, but for normal every day use, it wouldn't be. If we use her twisted terms, well even then – she _might_ be a beauty… but I'm certainly not a beast. At least… not in those terms.

If I think about it, what _is_ a beast? A monster? That's still vague – it isn't a proper definition. Maybe people used it because they didn't _understand_ – whether it was the person, the beliefs or the situation. If that was the case… I suppose _I _could be a beast. Thinking about it, the modern society today uses words like 'freak', 'weirdo' and whatnot. You'd still say _'I'm not a beast'_, '_I'm not a freak'_, and_ 'I'm not a weirdo'_. Maybe even then, stereotypes – emos, Goths, chavs; all of them could use that sentence, changing the last word, but the meaning, the implication, the protest would be the same. And people wouldn't understand.

But, even then… to me, it still sounds harsh.

Sometimes people don't understand me, but that doesn't make me a beast; and sure, I don't understand Larxene, I may _want_ to, for reasons still unbeknownst to me… but that doesn't mean I have to call her a _beast_.

It isn't fair. It isn't – it isn't – it isn't and I'm so fucking _tired_ of life being unfair.

"For God's sake, Saïx – stop being an immature _brat!_" I cried out, unable to stop myself.

And in that moment, everything froze.

This was the moment that would make or break me. The moment that would determine Larxene's fate. My fate. And Saïx's.

… maybe.

And I breathed.

"Are you," Saïx softly said, hissing quietly, "calling _me, _a _brat?_"

"I'm doing a little bit more than that – I'm calling you an _immature brat._" I scorned, unable to help myself. For a split second I swear I saw Larxene roll her eyes, because in a way I was stooping her level – acting just a tiny bit childish. Still, once I start on my rants, it's actually hard to stop, especially when you're terrified to what's going to happen next. "You got a problem with it – fine! I don't care; I just want you to stop acting out your anger, or whatever the hell it is, on _me._ Actually, wait, on the people who are _close to me_. If you want to sort out your problem instead of dumping on other people with violence, I suggest you talk to the psychiatrist or something – or the people you actually have a problem with."

He stiffened; Larxene gasped.

My heart clenched.

"Look, I don't know why you started bullying me; whether it was because I was weak, just a little bit weird or because you instantly didn't like me, I don't care, in fact I don't want to know the reason. That's your problem, not mine. What my problem is… is that you need to get over these little trivialities and more importantly – stop being such a bastard. I may be weak, but I'll get stronger. I may be stupid, but I can become cleverer. I may be a coward, but I can become brave. I may be a lazy person, but dammit, when I'm motivated, I do not back down. And for crying out loud, _grow up!"_

He stared at me.

"Let her go. Leave me alone, stop bullying me, and learn that it's okay to let things _go._"

"Fine." The whispered words grated against my ear.

In actual truth, I felt sick. Like I was literally going to throw up. Whether it was because of the adrenaline, the emotional outburst or the school's cooking… I'll leave it to you to decide.

"Let things go… I can do that… I'll let her go." He smiled crookedly, his eyes glinting like a maniac.

Oh great… I have a bad feeling about this.

Larxene was struggling for breath.

And he let her fall into the pool.

Oh… shit. _Shit. __**Shit!**_

What other words can describe the situation?

_Splash!_

A split second washed over me, as I slowly watched the waves in slow motion lurch upwards before falling.

"You utter _bastard!"_ I quietly snarled, numb, before my body reacted, compelling me to move. And move I did.

I punched him.

"Leave us alone, you stupid idiot." I breathed out, unsure if he heard me, as I immediately dived into the pool.

Damn, my hand hurt, but I… I swear I heard something crack.

… it might have been his nose.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm certain that I was thinking… whatever happened to the innocent bystander that I used to be?

All my thoughts, whatever they were dispersed, focused on the subject at hand: the swimming pool. Larxene. Drowning. Me. Saving.

I just hope to god that CPR works.

_x__**x**__x_

Saïx was gone by the time Larxene came into consciousness.

When she breathed… I really felt relieved. Like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

And my _heart_ – it felt – it felt—

Indescribable**.**

There were no words that I can use to explain, but I'll try anyway.

Imagine this: you're about to burst, your heart twisting and turning with every second that passes and you're aware of every emotion swirling in your heart – hate, anger (at yourself), desperation, panic, confusion, although I suspect 'happiness' was only there because I was amazed at myself for punching Saïx. Everything feels so surreal, slow or fast, you can't tell what's happening, and then – _and then_ – when she breathes, when you hear that sharp intake of breath…

It surprised me, but never have I felt so relaxed. At peace. Like I achieved something worthwhile.

Maybe it was like an unsung melody that you've never heard before but the second you hear it, you know that _this is it._ That this is the moment you've been waiting for; the melody that waltzes to your pace, which has a special meaning for you and only you. Entranced, you see the meaning, the deepness of it unfolds, weaving into something amazing. Nothing feels sweeter; nothing could be as close as heaven, because you've found it – the song that links to your soul. You understand it; and it understands you… if that made sense.

I held her hand, leaning over her.

"Demyx," she choked out, before stabilizing her breath, her demeanour. "Thank you."

I smiled softly, despite all that happened. "Yeah, no problem. Listen to me, just stay still for a few more minutes. Okay?"

"Mm. Sure, I can do that." The blonde girl sighed, closing her eyes. "By the way, I never told you…"

"Huh?" Instinctively, I leaned forward. A confession, maybe?

"… I got the gummi bears. Nami gave 'em to me. I wanted you to know."

"Oh." I moved back silently. Disappointed, I exhaled. Honestly, it's _always_ about the gummi bears with that girl. "Oh right. Cheers."

I was inwardly fuming. I guess, after all that's happened she's still unpredictable.

She let out a laugh. "You sound disappointed, Dem."

"Me? Nah…" I tried to convey some sort of carefree attitude, but I don't think it worked that well. "Honestly, I just don't know what to expect with you."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I could sense her smile, as well her subtle shiver.

"Depends on the situation. It's always fun though." I absentmindedly said.

Yeah, after everything we've been through, every moment I've been with… even the downs of our odd relationship, it's always been fun.

"Hey, well done out there." She whispered, blinking a little bit. "You finally stood up to Saïx."

"Yeah, I guess I did." It's a feat that I still can't believe; maybe I haven't let it sink in yet… "I-It's thanks to you, though. You gave me the courage. As odd and weird and cat-like as you are, I want to thank you."

"Hey, I didn't do anything. It was all you." She shrugged modestly, her voice still quiet. It wasn't much, but I guess that was her 'you're welcome'. It was enough.

"Mm, Demyx…" She groaned, moving her limbs just a little bit more. "Can I move now?"

"Yeah. It should be okay now." I nodded, helping her up.

"Okay! Thanks for that!" She smiled, grinning that smile – although I could see cracks. That smile that I once saw as perfect was broken. "So, I'll be going now!"

I didn't let go of her.

"H-Hey! Dem," she pouted, the childish attitude completely erasing the previous mood. Sheesh, can't the girl with eyes that resemble the sky ever stay the same? "You can let go of me! I'm better now, I'm fine, and I'd really like it if you'd stop holding on to me." She tugged, trying to get out of my grip.

I smiled, fondly. In an eccentric way, this manner of hers really was cute. If only it wasn't _infuriating_ as well! Frowning, I tugged her arm.

"I said I wanted to talk to you."

She nodded. "I know. And I'm free now. But, would you let go of me?"

I tilted my head, unsure. "Only if you promise not to run away."

A smile graced her lips, and she shook her head. "I told you: I'm free now."

I hesitated.

"Trust me."

I bit my lip. Was I so afraid of her running away from me that I couldn't do this?

"I'll listen. I'll wait. Right now, so you can take as long as you need."

I nodded, silently, letting her hand fall to her side.

Now… if I can overcome this fear of the unknown…

Where should I start?


	7. seven

how to save a life — **seven.**

_x__**x**__x_

I cleared my throat, stalling for time. Truth be told, I _hadn't _expected her to be here waiting for me to speak. I had assumed, because it was in our violent nature, to start up another fight where I eventually burst the bottled up emotion that I hadn't realized that I had stored up within me. But no. Instead things turn out the way quite unexpectedly. Which isn't a bad thing, but nonetheless, it's uncomfortable.

But somehow, the soft amused smile that tugged on her lips gave me the courage to start.

"You know, we're pretty similar… you and me." I began, carelessly fumbling on words, but speaking from my heart. That's what I do, I guess, I wear my heart on my sleeve, always speaking from it. "Okay, mentally speaking, I reckon you're a bit more childish, immature, unreliable, and definitely more destructive than me. But, I guess," I sighed, "internally, when we get to the heart of it… of us… of you and me… we're the same. We're alike in ways that… well; I guess our minds share the same sky, if you know what I mean."

It sounds cheesy… cliché, but honestly, I can't find any other words.

The corners of her lips twitched, and I took it as a cue to continue. Who knows, maybe she was leading me all along, and was going to tell me to stop when she got bored, but for now—for now, I guess that meant I could keep on going.

"Larxene, you said that you didn't want to create attachment, because you thought that they would hinder you. You said that you would live every day to its fullest – _carpe diem_, I think that's what the Romans say – seizing it and living it to its fullest, doing whatever the hell you want on your yellow brick road, but that's not living! That's not living _at all_! What's wrong with doing things for others, even if they didn't ask it, even if it doesn't merit you either way? What's wrong with forming attachments? To people. To life. That's not living, not how I see it – that's _running_. From people. From life."

I stopped speaking for a second, remembering to breathe; but the words just flowed.

"You get bored of one or the other, and straight away, you move. But here's the thing – you keep on thinking that you haven't formed attachments, when you have, and you think by running away, you automatically sever those ties with whatever sharp weapon that you carry up your sleeve. And, maybe, for the most part, you're right. People forget about it – forget about you – but some don't. Some would search and search because _they_ also felt that attachment was too good to be true and so they don't stop at the first moment, they continue and pursue it. And that's not your fault, I mean, take Axel – you didn't _**ask**_ him to find you, although I suppose it could have been mere coincidence, but still – he was living his life the way _he wanted_."

I think I might have rambled a bit, too carried away with the 'speech' I made, but I couldn't stop. Seriously. Why is it whenever she's around, I turn into a total motor mouth? Maybe it's because I wanted to convey a message to her, that I had actually lost my mind, and was acting illogically and irrationally. Or maybe I was just following my heart. All the same, words kept spilling from my mouth like a sparkling waterfall with the water rushing and falling, twinkling as it did so, like a conundrum. You can't control the water to stop falling and I certainly couldn't stop the words from being trickling out.

"Life… is what we make it to be. It doesn't have to be difficult. It doesn't have to be all loud and vibrant and energetic and unpredictable with counting elephants in between the thunder and the lightning," I said softly, feeling cold as the wind blew a gentle breeze, toying with flaxen, honey, golden strands of hair. Hers, of course. I could never decide what colour her hair really was. My fragmented thoughts kept trying to come out of my mouth. And it was making me sound slightly ridiculous—but I didn't care. I wasn't sure if I was saying this to convince myself, or Larxene, even if my reckless mouth might have been blabbing, it was giving me the courage to go on. Although, her presence helped. Without her… could I have become different? Stronger? Braver? More confident in speaking my mind?

"Life can be simple, easy, boring. It doesn't have to be exciting, although I suppose even a boring day can have its highlights. If you try, you could find certain events of that day worthwhile, make you smile, make you happy when you reminisce over reunions. I mean, you could be a slob, lethargic and lazy and with the most blinding smile that was ever possible. Take life slow, take life fast, and don't listen to other people on how you _should_ handle it, because they're taking it their pace. I guess, I'm saying… well, that no matter what happens, at the end of the day, hell, in the long run, is that you're happy with who you are and what you're doing. If you want, you could include the people who surround you, break the connection if you're happy doing that because they're not your 'real' friends, make new connections – people who you get. It's your life, that's what I'm saying, live it with no regrets."

Larxene was like a statue at that moment – poised, graceful and incredibly still. There was no rush of energy or excitement that usually flashed like neon lights. And like a statue, she was unreadable. The smile that graced her lips, however soft, however gentle and slight it may have been; I couldn't tell how genuine that smile was.

She looked away, before returning to her previous position, except she refused to look at me.

"Hey," she began, the words flowing freely from her, her voice retaining that calm, fluent yet unpredictable feel to it. "Do you want to hang out after school?"

I blinked, before looking around. She giggled at that, amused by my behaviour – but how was I supposed to know that she was talking to me? Although, I suppose the fact that we were alone might have helped, but old habits die hard. Having been ignored for so long, with the exception of being bullied, one tends to question these kinds of things. It was only due to the fact that I had eventually grown out of the habit that I pointed to myself and mouthed a _'you mean me?'_ that I didn't embarrass myself further.

It was sudden, uncharacteristic, almost. What brought this change of heart? Usually she just grabbed me and we were off to go on a merry go round of craziness… but let's not go there.

I'm not acting the innocent bystander anymore; I make my own choices, gradually standing up for myself. Everything I do… I do because I _want_ to. Even if, like the 'innocent bystander' that I used to be, I didn't know what I was getting into.

"S-Sure." I agreed.

Her blinding grin and sparkling eyes were worth it.

"Great!"

_x__**x**__x_

"You're happier. At least, you're in a better mood."

I jumped. I guess no matter how long I've known Zexie; he's always going to find ways to creep up on me and scare me. This time was no different, as I – much as it pains me to admit it – yelped like a girl, while slamming my locker door shut. The smirk that refused to be wiped off his face was making me want to punch him.

Instead, I settled for a nervous laugh and a glower. With evil x-ray glares. That's right Zexie_ – I can read your mind._

"Be careful," Kairi said, on the other side, head downcast. I wasn't sure, but her eyes looked a little red.

"Huh? Kai… what are you talking about?" I asked gently, unsure if I could reach out and touch her.

"Just, promise me. You'll be careful."

"Sure." I nodded. "I'll be careful." I didn't ask why, knowing that it probably was better if I didn't pursue it.

"You're falling. Too fast. Too hard." Zexion commented quietly.

"No," Kairi shook her head. "You know that's not right; he's already fallen."

"What _are_ you guys talking about?" Puzzled, I shot curious glances at both of them. "Can you please be a little bit less vague?"

"You've fallen too." Kairi sighed, examining her nails idyllically. "Right Zexie?"

"Don't call me that." Zex said, tersely, cheeks slightly darker (_pinker?_) than I last remembered.

"Mm. Sure. Whatever you say." Kairi laughed, walking away from us. "Well, see you next week. I've got a date with Sora."

"Bye!" I waved, giving her back a wide cheesy grin. If she heard me, then she made no sign that she did, preferring to ignore me. It's all right. Things will work out. Eventually.

"Happiness is fleeting. It transcends upon us at the oddest moments in life. In the future, the moments where you hadn't considered yourself happy may have changed, and those moments in the past where you thought yourself 'miserable', were in fact when you were 'happy'."

"… wow. That's pretty deep… almost philosophical, Zexion." I gaped. It was a pretty long sentence, coming from him.

"…"

"You know, you're really weird."

"… you're weirder. _Demstar_."

Note to self: Do not let Zexie hang around with my mom. Otherwise more embarrassing nicknames will ensue.

"Oh. I'm sure I can think of much worse names."

Crap! Did I say that aloud?

"And for the record: _x-rays do not read minds, doofus!"_

"Doofus?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes. "Naminé's really making _that_ much of an influence on you?"

"Sh-Shut up. Just shut up." The now-beet-red cheeks were making me smile.

My grin widened. Ah-ha! Now the tables are turned!

… too bad I couldn't think of any witty remarks.

_x__**x**__x_

I met Larxene with Naminé and Riku hanging nearby. Zexion, without my knowing, had 'slinked' away, not trusting Riku to be left alone with Naminé.

I wonder if he could ever become a ninja. He'd be an awfully good one…

And then, like _Naruto_, they could make an anime show, with manga too. They'd call it _Zexie, the Bishie Chronicles._ Then those fan girls could stalk him and he would be… famous? I have a feeling that my imagination's going into overload. But it's in the best of interests of Zexion. I swear!

"She'll be alright," I said, noticing how she tensed as she looked at them, "after all, Zexie and Riku know how to treat a lady."

"And you don't?" She rolled her eyes, predictably.

"I – I didn't say _that._" I stuttered.

"Sure you didn't."

It was quite obvious that she was amused by my antics.

_x__**x**__x_

That time was different from the last time we had 'hung out'. This time was normal. At least, it felt comfortable – to the point of normality. I guess you could say that I had a weird vibe going on that the people surrounding thought we were a couple – or on a date… which to be honest is basically the same thing. Otherwise from that, I suppose anyone that watched thought we were hanging out, having fun… and being weird-loving teenagers.

… that chased pigeons down the street.

_That_ was purely her.

Aside from that, with all the laughter, the conversations that came easily, the playful and harmless teasing and of course, the rather mild treatment of pain—because Larxene believed that all pleasure must have a hint of pain – whether that was a punch, a pinch or shutting me up.

With her teeth.

And by god, my hand hurt because of that.

So yeah, aside from that, I don't think anyone would have guessed that I was living in a world that seemed like an apocalypse, the closest thing being God was music and that she had an attitude of a hyper, sugar-dosed burnt caramel-slash-sun.

Caramel. It's such a pretty word. Say it in a Spanish accent and it sounds so cool. Random too…

My thoughts tend to drift when silence occurs.

"I thought about what you said," Larxene spoke, as she dug into the ice cream. Chocolate mint ice cream, to be precise.

"And?" The spoon that I held in my hand, filled with vanilla, stopped midway. My eyebrows arched, unsure of where she was leading this.

"_Life isn't about rainbows and butterflies, it's about compromise,_ about being happy at your own pace," she dramatized it, stylizing it into her own version, although she had just copied the main part of that from the music playing in the background. "Do you really believe that… or is that just how you consider the 'ideal life' to be?" Electric blue eyes stared at me, deadly serious than nearly made me think that she could read my mind.

Still, I was a little taken aback by the question, but, as I dug into the vanilla – and spoke after I had eaten it, since Mom has always hated bad table manners – I declared, "Of course I believe it!" Essentially, of course.

She smiled, before she burst out laughing, messing her face a little with the ice cream. "Ah, Dem, you're so passionate."

"…"

"You always… you're so good to me." She mumbled, looking away, voice softening, biting her lip.

It must have been a trick of the light, because I swear her porcelain cheeks suddenly flushed, blooming like a rose that spread quite nicely on her heart-shaped face.

She laughed suddenly, ruffling my hair. "Ah hah – the look on your face. You're so cute, like an ickle puppy. Although, I gotta say, Dem, you've really got a tendency to act like a rabbit, what, with you and your floppy-eared tendencies. If you actually had those great big ears, I'd pull them and twist them and turn them and, oh—it would be so much fun!"

So I _was_ right. She did consider me to be like a rabbit. Wait a second…

"Hey! Y-You're making fun of me!"

"Uh-huh. It's nothing new. What of it?"

This annoyed me, because it was true. She _had_ often—always—made fun of me, but deep down, and I don't suppose I'd ever admit it to her, I was a little relieved. With mock resentment, I gave a light groan, and stuffed the ice cream in my hand into her mouth.

Muttering, cheeks flushed, and determined to look at anything or anyone except her, I said, "Just shut up and eat your ice cream."

_x__**x**__x_

"Something bothering you?"

"… no. At least, it's nothing special."

"Maybe not. But… I'm always here, you know."

"… yeah. You are, aren't you?"

"Idiot. So, c'mon. Spill it. You look like you really need to get it off your chest."

"… pervert."

"Hey—hey—_you're_ the one with the dirty mind – I was thinking about the _expression_. You idiot."

"Mm, I guess…"

"So, let's hear it."

"… why are you so happy? I mean, most of the time… you're always in a good mood."

"And I'm not faking it."

She grinned at that. "Nah, you're too straightforward to be faking. Plus, you're a bad liar."

"… not always a bad thing – just means that I should _stick_ to telling the _truth_."

"I guess, so, answer the question: why _are_ you always in a good mood?"

"Um, am I?"

"Yeah, even when you shout, get annoyed at me; standing up for yourself… underneath it all, you're enjoying it. You're having fun."

"I see…" I frowned, "I… I well… I guess I don't know."

I do. I _do_ know.

And I'm still not sure that I _**know**_ it yet.

It's because I'm around _her_.

_x__**x**__x_

"… Hey."

"Hmm? Something wrong?"

"Do you… do you…" Say it! Just freaking _say_ it! "… do you want to hold hands?"

She smiled, brilliant; radiant. Eyes softened; cheeks made of china flushed into a rosy bloom.

"Sure."

It felt nice, being connected. Holding her hand, like couples, but not. A simple gesture, yet it could be so much more. That didn't stop my cheeks from burning.

Still, just being around her, is enough. Just being by her side… is fulfilling.

"Let's go, then."

_You and I…_

… _we share the same sky._

_x__**x**__x_

Ack. I hate my mom.

Well, no. I don't. Not really. She's sweet and lovely and kind and understanding. But…

She's just so damn motherly! She embarrasses me, humiliates me, flaunts me like her prized possession and tries to glomp me whenever my back is facing her. Not to mention the nicknames! But I love her anyway. It's her smile, I guess, that balances out the major mortification levels that I get from being around her. It's the smile of… _contentment_. Enjoyment. Bliss.

And because I know she's happy, I forgive her and I smile too.

If only my self-image could be recovered. There are far too many awkward memories that I've gained from her. Like the first day of school – I swear it happens every year where she clings on to me, the mock tears on her face, and I have to drag myself to school, with the additional weight on my back. And okay, I don't mind this part; it's like a lucky charm for me, when she sweetly kisses my cheek, and says 'have a good day'. It's just that the 'cutie' and doing it in front of the students is a tad embarrassing for me.

Still. Let them talk. I love my mom, as goofy as she is.

"Kya! Hey, Demmy, my ickle Demmykins! Where have you been?" Mom asked, as I opened the door, pulling Larxene with me. "Ah." Her eyes looked down, following my arm, my wrist, my hand. "Ah." Where she looked up, following it to where she saw Larxene, blonde hair, blue eyes and all. We _were_ holding hands. "Ah…"

Then she grinned, I blanched, and with the cheesy smile, and thumbs up, Mom said.

"I approve. My adorable young son finally got himself a girly-girl!"

"M-Mom!" I spluttered, cheeks heating up. "We-We're not – she's not! Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Oh?" Her eyebrow arched and a grin tugged at her lips, sneaky and conniving. "So this is _Larxene?_ I got to hand it to you; my cute son certainly has good taste. Wow, you're even prettier than I thought. I absolutely agree. I can hardly wait for your wedding… the two of you are going to be so awesome! Not to mention the pretty, pretty babies! Make sure you have more than one, okay?" Mom's grin widened, examining and scrutinizing Larxene while smothering the poor girl with her mother complex.

The only reason she likes her is that Larxene hasn't opened her big loud mouth.

Hold on. _Babies?_

"Um… Mom? Please stop talking. You're embarrassing me…" I mumbled, looking away from her, tightening my grip on Larxene's hand.

"Oh hunny," Mom sighed, sympathizing, her eyes softening, "I could never embarrass you! You're my cute son who's the pride of my life! The bane of my existence! And now, I'm watching you grow up… I'm so happy…"

I give up. There's no winning with the women in my life.

"Mrs…" Larxene finally spoke, uncharacteristically subdued and quiet.

"Call me Yun-Yun." Mom said, snuggling against me, wrapping her arms around me. I'm guessing she's been reading that _Fruits Baskets_ manga…

"Yun… Yun, then." My blue-eyed beauty gave a frail smile. "Could I use your phone…? I have to check on something and my parents…"

"Oh. Yes, _yes_. Of course you can! Go right ahead into the kitchen; the phone is there beside the sink, in front of the mirror." Mom nodded, a tad too energetically, pointing out the directions while she spoke, the smile never leaving her face.

"Mm. Thank you." She gave a nod, and gracefully flitted out of the way.

"You're a match made in heaven." Mom said, brushing away invisible dirt strands, making my appearance more respectable. "Honestly, you really have got to get together."

"… so you can lavish your attention on your 'grandchildren'?" I deadpanned, "honestly, you take a look at yourself. You're getting far too delusional about this."

"Eh?" Peeved, Mom poked my cheeks, sparkling eyes narrowed, "a mother can't have her fantasies about grandkids, or their son's first love? You should take a look at yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Flustered, unsure of why I was getting so agitated, I backed away.

"You know, you're really reminding me of _him_ right now. I mean, c'mon, take a look at the facts: this girl is the only person that's piqued your interest, you talk to her in your sleep, you're getting awfully red whenever someone mentions her, and just because she didn't see it, doesn't mean I didn't—you were full out blushing while you were holding her hand. Sweetie, you've got it. And you've got it bad."

"Huh?"

"You are smitten. Head to toe. Flat out… _in love_ with this girl. Even if she looked a little uncomfortable, I'm sure when she's around you, she's herself. And she enjoys herself, too. Well, I'm sure she'll learn to like me too!"

We Suzumuras are very blunt people. Except when we're blind to it, and then we give our 'helping hand'. But still—I couldn't _**believe**_ it.

I could only stare. I could only remain motionless, shocked by the news.

Embarrassing as Mom may be, she's not one to lie. Unless Aunt Rikku is there. Then the alcohol makes three. Three happy, drunk, insane and hyperly so people. Myself not included.

"And while this is all well and good, I want you be careful."

I nodded. "Sure." It's not I haven't been made to make that promise before.

"Remember: _have sex and you die_." Straightening my collar, Mom gave a serious look, her mouth almost twisting into a half pout half frown.

I hate my mom. I really do. She only hears what she wants to hear. And completely contradicts herself!

"_Mom!"_

"Thaaaank-you!" Larxene chirped, returning beside me, grinning. "Hey, Yun, Dem? Did I miss something?"

"No." I finally said, still not thinking straight, unable to think properly, the words forming quite slowly. "But I think we should go. After all, we've got… something to do…"

"Train." Larxene supplied, "we've got to catch my train."

"Oh, alright." Mom gave a nod, amused by my now scarred mind. One does not expect their parents to be so upfront about these things. "Well, it was lovely meeting you. Demmy has told me loads about you, as adorable as he is!"

I edged my way to the door, opening it as fast as I could.

"Remember kids: I want my grandkids to be as cute as you guys! So make 'em fast and make 'em quick!" Mom called, grinning evilly all the way.

My cheeks burned, hers darkened.

I hate my mom. I really, really do.

_x__**x**__x_

After that small pit stop, we walked to the train station. It turns out that's how she's been getting to school and it was coincidently near my house. And Zexion's, for that matter. But that's a passing thought for another day, unless we decide to talk about Naminé. I hadn't realized it, I really hadn't—that the time had passed so quickly, flown faster than a lightning bolt striking twice.

Gazing out the window, I saw the sun had set, the sky turning purple for a second, darkening into blue, a more sinister shade than the usual carefree blue… the normal colour of her eyes. I flicked my gaze to Larxene, who was chatting with the ticket man, asking for a ticket. Honestly, she _should_ just get one of those Return tickets – they're a lot cheaper and less time is spent loitering in the uncomfortable train station.

Larxene suddenly stopped, looking back at me and flashing a perfectly devious grin. If I hadn't known her, I might have almost called it affectionate. She hopped, skipped and jumped towards me, leeching onto my arm, smiling ever so prettily and oh-so-happily. I was going to go, but… if she wanted, I'll stay. I'll wait with her.

For her.

_x__**x**__x_

Truthfully, the waiting room isn't much better than the ticket place, but at least it gets rid of the clench that my chest had, when Larxene was talking to that guy, the stupid duck-like guy with a voice that _quacked_. Whatever that meant. Not as if it was important or anything. Now, in the waiting room, it's just her and me. Me and her. Alone…

"Hey, Larxene, I actually had a really good time." I admitted, grinning at the memories, before grimacing. "Well, except for when you met my mom. She's a little over-protective."

"Yeah," she nodded, sounding far away, even if she was sitting right beside me. "No, hang on – I found your mom really sweet. Very cute. If only I—" she broke away, fidgeting, "—never mind."

It had been a long day, so I let it slide. She had probably just gotten tired; chasing pigeons with sugar withdrawals and all… there was no point in thinking it held a deeper meaning.

"Would you like to… we should, you know… if you want—hang out again," I stuttered, stumbling across the words. I wanted to say something, but my heart wanted to say another. What was wrong with me?

"Yeah…"

"Maybe somewhere else? If you want."

"Yeah…"

"But next time, you're paying for the ice creams."

"Yeah…" she whispered, subdued, her voice barely audible in the choking silence.

I frowned, still not glancing at her. She was being far too quiet, distracted and pacified than her normal behaviour. I shifted my gaze to focus on her face – her pretty, porcelain heart-shaped face, but she didn't glance back, her head downcast, teeth sinking into her lips.

Then I noticed.

In between the silences, the rustling wind, the small flashes of lightning and thunder and small droplets of rain, I could hear her suppressed sobs, and my heart broke even more. A tear slid down her face.

She was crying.

"Larx… Larxene, what's wrong?" I asked softly, gently touching her shoulder. The tears fell faster, sliding down her face and she stood up suddenly, desperately trying to wipe away the tears, still muffling her gasps. I stood up, not thinking, not acting, just reacting to the situation—calmly, like it was natural, like it was meant to be like this, I held her in my arms, embracing her as she clung to my chest, occasionally hitting it. She was shaking and I tried to soothe her, gently whispering words in her ear, stoking her usually sun-kissed hair.

She is beautiful.

Why have I never noticed before?

Maybe I have… maybe I just never recognised it. Maybe I fell for her a long time ago. I don't know.

"I'm… fine…" she mumbled, trying to convince herself. "I… am. I… _am._ I'm happy… I'm okay… I don't… I don't know _why_ I'm crying… so stupid… so _**fucking**_ stupid…"

"Shh," I whispered, "it's all right. Listen to me; it _is_ going to be alright. And it's perfectly alright to cry. I wouldn't think you're weak, I wouldn't think it beneath you, because… if you keep bottling up those feelings, like that… it's going to burst. You're going to break. And I just don't want to see that. I'd rather see you happier. With a genuine smile on your face."

She looked away, and I continued, regardless if it was the wrong thing to do.

"And… if anything is troubling you… I'll listen. If you don't like something, just say it. Don't hold back. Don't put up a front because it's what you think other people want to see. Because, I… I'll see right through you. And you could become so much more. And I'll try to help you on the way."

"But _why?_ What's the point… what's the point of doing this – you've got nothing to gain. You should just ignore me! You hated me, remember?" She raised her voice, out to provoke a reaction from me.

"Because you're my friend. And I want my friends to be happy. All of them. Look at them, they're moving on. We're staying behind; and we can't always make it just living like this. We've got to change, have a new state of mind. And maybe it's already started, maybe we're different from when we were back then, but still—I want you to be true to yourself." I calmly replied; nothing but the truth.

"…"

"I _like_ you, Larxene. I _like_ you! From back then, to now—I still like you!" I insisted, holding her tightly against me.

"You shouldn't! I've been so _terrible_, I – I acted so selfishly! I hurt you – that's all I can do! So why do you keep coming back for more?"

"I told you—you're my _**friend**_. I l—like you! You mean a lot to me."

"… n't matter. Naminé—Naminé! What about Naminé?!" She said, mumbling her thoughts. To be honest, I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Look. Naminé is growing up, and soon enough – she won't need you to protect her. But you—you convince yourself that she needs you, when actually you need her! Yes, you're sisters, I get that – but you'll always be together, even when you're not. Even she's moving on, whether it's Zexion or Riku, I don't know, but all the same—she is maturing and she doesn't need you to protect her!"

"So _what?_ So what if I need Naminé? What's wrong with it?" She cried, giving me more powerful and painful beatings. "Does that matter?"

"Yeah. It matters." I spoke softly, slowly brushing her cheek while pushing her against the wall. "It matters to me."

"Why?"

Why indeed. When did she mean so much to me? Why had I been so blind to it, when everybody else flat out knew?

Even I don't know the answer to that.

"Because you mean the world to me." I whispered; my heart beating in sync with the falling raindrops. "You mean everything, and so much more."

She looked up, finally meeting my eyes, her celestial blue eyes oddly clear, oddly blank. It wasn't the reflection of a storm beginning to dissipate into darkness, fade away until it was forgotten… rather… rather like it was the eye of the storm that was beginning, all her emotions swirling and churning inside her, zigzagging and lashing out, her blazing eyes overflowing with emotions. And she cried.

Lifting her head, brushing her cheek; entangling her hands into my hair, transferring the tearstain into my own cheek; heads drew closer, lips brushed against each other, meeting, a spark caused.

She tasted like strawberries. She tasted like lemons. She tasted like everything sweet and sour all at once; a conundrum of lightning and rain mingling to their own beat, their own rhythm—precise yet unpredictable… everything means something… and everything is so much more beautiful in the music of lighting rain.

We kissed.

We kissed.

_We kissed._

And we kissed so many times that night, wiping away the tears; mending the serrated heart.

_x__**x**__x_

We only stopped because the train was coming in a few minutes.

"Dem… I… we should…" Words that were once so easily formed fell apart in seconds, the flush that I once thought a trick of the light now more apparent than ever.

"I guess so…" I fumbled, unsure of what to do… what to say…

I still wanted to kiss her.

She gazed up into the sky, her hand holding mine, more tightly, more desperately than ever.

I wanted to ask her: did it mean anything to her? She said so herself, she's not the type to get attached, she'd rather escape before she'd get the chance, but then… but then…

What did… _what we did_… mean to her… ?

It meant everything to me.

"Um, Larxene—" Her mouth reminded me of the sweetest honey; the sweetest poison. It's intoxicating and I swear it will be the death of me. "How far away is your house?"

She gave a sad smile, inclining her head slightly. "Not far. I only have one stop, and after that, it's only a two minute walk to my house. Anyone can recognise it by the… well, the… mailbox. Oh, and the graffiti sprayed 'pineapple head' and 'gummi gumdrops' on the dustbin and walls."

Her smile widened, but it seemed forced; failing to meet her eyes. I hated that smile, but I… I can't seem to hate her. I've been the happiest when I'm with her. I just… I just want to see a genuine smile on her face.

"You know, I don't like trains very much." Larxene spoke quietly, her eyes seeming more distant and older… although the image didn't suit her. "You stand there alone on a crowded platform – I'm surrounded by strangers. Naminé… Naminé doesn't feel like she's there, sometimes I think I left her behind, other times she feels like she's far away… and I can feel our distance growing."

She gave a weak laugh, another melancholic smile.

"Wouldn't it be nice, Dem, just like now, if someone showed up, with no warning when you're feeling lonely? When the world feels against you? I think that it would, sometimes, to make Naminé smile."

I frowned. Was she implying something? Just because she saying that she's waiting for someone that she knows she'll never meet?

"I'll meet you, if you want. I'll come with you next week. If you…" I said, somewhat hesitant. Larxene had been in a subdued mode, and there was no telling when she might revert back to her usual dictator-like persona.

It's odd. She says that she wants to be left alone, to have no attachments… yet the very thing she suggests requires an attachment to form. That's what people do, they're a paradox. They say this, they mean something else. And people forget that they have to look beneath the words, read the subtext correctly and find the _true_ meaning, what they want to happen.

"No, don't. It's alright, honestly Dem." She shook her head, "it's sweet of you but… you should go home. Your Mom is waiting for you."

"Alright," I answered cautiously, still unnerved by her behaviour. "I'll go home; _after_ I see the train come."

She nodded, tears threatening to fall.

Again, I can't help it—but to be honest, I don't want to—I _like_ kissing her.

_x__**x**__x_

Were my friends right?

Was I falling for her?

Later, I would realize that I had fallen long ago.

_x__**x**__x_

The train came by, wheezing quietly and moving slowly. Larxene, my beautiful nymph, gave a disappointed sigh, and kissed my lips; kissed my cheek.

The sight of her retreating back, dimmed by the setting sun, reminded me of that night of the festival, but I ignored the painful reminder. It's not even a fitting rendition of Beauty and the Beast. There's no declaring love for one another… but in the end… does saying those three words really matter? Isn't it the thought that counts? We have to remember… that the Beautiful Beast… the Beastly Beauty… is in the end… human.

"See you next week." I said.

True love prevails. That's the basic message though, in all the versions of the tale. Whether they live together, they die together… in the end – it prevails – the lovers are reunited.

I should have known. I should have known better. Something was amiss. Something was wrong. And I was just too blind to see it, too swept up in romantic kisses under silver rain and golden lightning.

She didn't say 'see you next week'.

She said goodbye.


	8. eight

how to save a life — **eight.**

_x__**x**__x_

The next week was when everything changed.

It might have started in the morning, when Zexion stood outside my house, waiting with a forlorn expression on his face, clearly upset about something, yet refusing to share any details. I waved at him through my window, while he casually ignored me.

Fine. I'll find out what the matter is, in any case. I'll annoy him to death. That tactic usually worked.

Strangely, it was only when I left my house and actually greeted Zexion when I noticed.

"Hey, Zex… where's Larxene? Where's Naminé?" I stopped, pausing to look around. Occasionally, although not often, Larxene sometimes tried to pounce on me, which resulted with me landing face first on the unwelcoming ground that loved to bash my face in.

Also, it had taken me a while to realize… me being the goofy blind idiot, but… Naminé was always here with us, walking with Larxene and me and Zexion, although I suspect that she lagged behind the three of us, occasionally talking to Zexie.

"Don't you know?" He quizzically asked me, dark eyes narrowing.

"Know? Know what?" I asked, slightly confused. "What are you on about?"

"…" He stopped, unsure whether to tell me what his problem was, or where Larxene and Naminé were. "… never mind. I suppose they'll let you know at school."

"Hey, Zex…" I began, scratching behind my ear, "Do you think we should wait for them? You know, at the station. Their train is probably late if they're not here by now."

Again, Zexion paused, before opening his mouth to speak. "No. It's alright. We'll continue… without them."

"Yeah… okay." I nodded, remembering the good old days when it used to be just me and Zexion walking along the quiet road to school. "It's been a while."

"… yeah." Zexion murmured; head downcast as he watched his feet move forward. "It has."

But I hadn't realized how long it had been until the silence that filled between us became awkward, not content or comfortable, but just… empty.

How had we become this way? I thought we were best friends, and that a rift would never from. But… I guess, people change, move on, but still – we can go back to the past and redeem the friendship that was once lost.

All you need… is time.

I frowned, twisting my mouth, trying to form the words at my mouth, trying to make my heavy tongue move and ask a simple question.

And yet the words didn't come as easily as I thought they would.

_x__**x**__x_

I slowed down, as the gates of school became clearer and closer before us.

"Zexion, could I talk to you about something?" I stopped, not wanting to move any further, almost having a bad omen that the second we entered the school I'd never have this opportunity again. It felt at that moment, that if I didn't say the question on the tip of my tongue, that I'd lose him. And… we've been friends for far too long for me to… to think of a world without being as close as we used to be.

_Used _to be?

Had all that changed the moment I met Larxene? Had the friendship that Zexion, Marluxia and I shared faded as Larxene had gradually become a part of my life? Why had that one girl intruded my life and changed it? Was it for the better? Or for the worse…?

No, I shook my head, shaking that thought away. It _wasn't _for the worse – because I knew, in my heart, that it might not be fate, or some sort of kismet, but I had become a better person because of it; stronger, more confident. The world wasn't just filled in blurs, not stopping and starting with a twirling carousel in the background, with the creepy tune of the ice cream van humming along.

_Poke._

"Ah!" I jumped, the contact pulling me – quite unexpectedly out of my thoughts. I blinked before realizing that Zexion himself had poked me – _Zexion_ – of all people who had climbed out of his introverted shell and… poked me. I feel quite petty at the moment.

Zexion chuckled, before deepening his laugh. It was a little creepy, I must admit, but somehow it made me smile and join in, a contagious infection that spread like warmth inside my body. He seemed a little more open. Had Naminé changed him that much, showing him the world by flecked pictures and incomplete sketches that it was the little things in life that made it worth living? Her smile? Her eyes?

"You got distracted, _daydreaming_, am I right?" A wry smile touched the corners of his mouth, amused at my habit that I still had not gotten rid of. I reckon I'm growing out of it but… only time will tell.

I gave him a sheepish smile. "Yeah…" Some things never change, I guess.

We still had a connection. It might have been fainter than before but… it's there. Maybe not as strong as it used to be, but still, like nature, it can grow, it can wither. Depending on how we acted to each other, that would determine the connection of our hearts. It might not be the moment that makes or breaks us, but it's still a part of the process that determines the final outcome of our bond.

"So?" His eyebrow arched, he patiently waited. "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well…" I raked my hand through my hair, trying to let the words naturally flow out. But, they didn't come. But… I still wanted to say those unformed words. Even if… even if they didn't make sense and would be complete gobbledegook, wouldn't they still be an attempt to try and develop a stronger bond? "I was thinking…"

"You've been doing that a lot." Zexion commented.

"And I've decided," I continued, ignoring Zexie's little remark, trying not to roll my eyes, "that we've got to hang out. Like old times. Marluxia too. It sounds nice, just the three of us. So much has happened and yet… so little time has passed. But we've…"

There was a pause. A breath. And—

"… that's right. We've gone separate ways; Marluxia with his sunflower girl – Selphie. You… me…" He tried to gesture with his hands, but failed.

That was okay though. I could take a hint, and I could complete the sentence too. "You mean: me and Larxene; you and Nami."

Zexion's cheeks flushed a tint of a darker shade. "Don't say it so loud, _Demmick_." He hissed, much to my amusement. He was glowering too, his visible eye staring left and right, twitching almost angrily. It's fun to rile the guy up – you just never really know his reaction until you see them. Then he stiffened, noticing the sentence that he had almost missed. "When… when did you… find out?"

"About you and Naminé?" I asked, before shrugging, odd; I had thought he was going to ask about something else. "I guess, in the end, when I saw how much you changed – becoming more outspoken, less introverted… because you met Naminé, that's when I knew." I elbowed his rib, teasing him, in a playful mood. "You think I'd miss those little signs, those subtle hints…? C'mon, Zexie – I'm not _that_ blind."

"Yes, you—" My lilac haired friend stopped himself, pausing, retracting his mind to the conversation we had minutes before. "You didn't deny it." He stated slowly, the chains chinking together in place.

"How long, _Zexie, _has it been since you stopped corrected people on how to say your name since _she_ started to say it?" I asked softly, feeling a cold breeze pass between us, the world suddenly slowing down.

But still, even if the world had slowed down, making the seconds that passed between us seem more meaningful, more powerful… the world still was so bright, so colourful. And yet it wasn't as so bright that I couldn't handle it… it seemed _comfortable_, easy, and manageable. It was like the heavy burden that was hovering over my shoulders was gone. No, that's not the right term to use. It's more like, it's been _lessened_, and that weight that I was carrying has been given to someone else to share. And that person, really, could only be…

Larxene.

"…" He mulled over the question-but-not-quite, his eyes darkening. "… a while." He admitted, his cheeks still diffusing into a brighter shade of red. "We've… really… _**changed**_, haven't we?"

Again, it felt more like a statement, than a question.

"No, we haven't." I shook my head. "We've grown; we've matured, but… just because we found someone else to talk to – someone who brings the best and worst out of us – that doesn't mean we've changed. I still _know_ you, I know what can make you smile, make you laugh, make you angry, make you annoyed. I _can_ change your mood, but I _can't _change your personality. We're still friends… even if we don't hang out as much… we've still have our heart connected. In a platonic way." I hastened to add, in case he might have had any queer ideas. Not that I see him that way, it's just, sometimes I'm so painfully naïve (or so Zexion used to say) that I don't even realize that what I said might have had an implication to something else. Just to clear that up.

"I see… Demyx, no matter what happens, we'll always be friends." Zexion sighed, his lips quirking into a half-lit, but genuine smile. "We've been best friends for ages, and I don't think anything will change that." He let out a laugh, comforted by this. "You still worry too much."

"Hey, well, you still don't speak enough. Why didn't you tell me you had a crush on Naminé?" I asked, before realizing the answer. "Oh. Right. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry man – I wouldn't have teased you." _Unlike you. Who teased me mercilessly and I never had an idea why!_

"You mean it?"

"Hell no! You completely teased me on my apparent 'love-life'—" I began my heated outburst.

"You still have yet to tell me about that." Zexion quietly added.

"—without a valid reason, lead me on with false hope—"

"… to bring a smile to your face…"

"—and I _don't_ get to tease the hell out of you? Oh no, sorry, mate, I am not having that! If you teased me, then I am sure as water extinguishing fire that I _**will**_ tease you. With or without Naminé's company." I finished my rant.

"… I hate you."

"All's fair in love and friendship." I gave him a cheesy grin, before remembering. "Oh yeah, you never _did_ answer my main question, before we got sidetracked."

"…" His eyes searched the back of his mind, trying to retrieve the necessary information, but unable to. I'm guessing that talking about our love-lives does that to people. "What was it?"

I let out a 'disappointed' sigh. "Oh, Zex, how _could_ you forget such an important little detail? And I thought our friendship meant—"

"… you're being an idiot." He quickly cut me off.

Since when have I liked to tease people? "Fine, I'm sorry." I hung my head, before continuing. "Do want to hang out? Just you, me and Marluxia. We could talk about anything. Just to make sure that we're still best friends."

"Dem… you really do worry too much." Zexion sighed, tilting his head, half-shaking it. "I'll see what I can do, but I'll probably go."

_We have much to talk about._ Me thinks.

"Again, Demstick: I do not have that ominous voice, nor do you have the correct analysis of how my mind works. Therefore, stop trying to guess my thoughts!"

… yes, Zexion. You're right, Zexion. I just can't help it, Zexion.

"… but you're just so _easy_ to tease!" I burst out.

Really, open mouth, insert foot. Could I have asked for anything less?

I should have expected that attack of a mathematic book on my head. Stupid algebra.

_x__**x**__x_

Larxene didn't come in that day. Or the next.

Or the next.

I sighed, glancing at my brooding friend. I swear, if I could tell the colours of auras, it would be purple – a scary aura for sure.

"Cheer up, guys," Marluxia smiled prettily at us, giving Selphie a piggyback ride, "they'll come back."

"… Yeah. She'll come back." Riku quietly added. "I know she will."

"Hey, Riku," I said, calling for his attention. "I'm not part of the gang anymore, am I?"

"You've only just noticed?" The platinum-head pretty-boy blinked, slightly taken aback. "I guess, really, you haven't been part of the gang for a while now. You suddenly stopped talking to us, well, no, that's not _technically_ right, but still, you found better things to do. Spread out your wings, become someone with a much more friendlier outlook in life. You've become…"

"… what?" I stared at him, my blue eyes piercing his. "I've become what?"

Riku only grinned, not in an unkind way, but I still felt annoyed by him – as he knew something I didn't know. Granted, yes, there are a lot of things that I don't know, but this relevant information involved _me._

"Oh, you'll see." He started a different method. "You'll see when the time comes."

"Will I?" I asked, unsure.

"Yeah." He nodded, confident of this. "Nami's taught me a lot, so I can safely say, you'll know."

The question was running in my mind, but still, I didn't have the nerve to ask him.

What was Naminé to Riku?

Zexion glowered, even though his head was hidden between his arms, his face unseen by us. Had I been paying attention to him, I could have sworn that he was growling as well.

Jealous, much?

_x__**x**__x_

Naminé came to the entrance of the school one day, trembling like a fragile angel about to tread on forsaken ground, dressed in a light blue sundress with a sunhat that's decorated with ornamental flowers, small, pale but very pretty. Much like herself.

I froze when I saw her, unsure of how much time has passed. It's been more than two days, but less than a week. At least I think so. Time has never been one of my fortes. Still, it doesn't matter. The world still has been colourful, if not brighter than it was. I can enjoy it, settling in with the comfortable pace.

And then they came.

_Riku. Zexion._

They were the ones who were most affected as they stopped talking to each other, both shell-shocked by her, quiet and not daring to cross the threshold. Neither of them moved, caught up in the moment, lost in her face. Her eyes. Her peony mouth that always hinted a pretty smile. Not as pretty as Larxene's, mind you, but still, it was pretty.

Riku moved first, slowly ambling to her, while Zexion stood motionless in his re-enactment of a statue, his eyes never leaving hers, albeit that hers were hidden under her large flowery hat, nervously examining the ground, touched by her wriggling painted toenails and sandals.

"Nami… né?" Riku softly whispered, his voice dry, raw. "Nami? Is that really you, Nami? Standing before me?" Slowly, he shuffled towards her, his anxiety growing as he approached the quiet girl.

"Yeah," She murmured, hands tightening their grip on her red sketchbook. I frowned at that. She didn't want to be here. So why was she? Unless… she wanted to prove something – _what? _"This is not a dream, Riku. I'm here."

People passed us, some giving us odd glances, others looking back and pausing to see if everything was alright; others ignored us, desiring not to pry in to our secluded lives. Some we knew and gave slight indications of 'goodbye, see you another day'. Others we had no recollection of them, though they might know who we were, and said nothing to them.

Riku paused, his mouth quivering to say the next few words, hesitant of the outcome. "I… I missed you, Nami."

"I missed you too." Naminé replied, lifting her head to allow him to cup her face with his gentle hands. Her clear blue eyes were glimmering, threatening to spill, voice soft as always, if not more so. "I really, really did."

"That's okay," The platinum haired boy soothed her, wiping away the falling tears, "you don't have to feel bad about it, you're here now, Nami, here with me." And he bent his head, leaning in to reach her, to touch her mouth and softly take those tears and bursting emotions with his sweet kiss.

But…

Her breath freezing, she turned her head, making Riku graze the corner of her lips, on the edge of the smooth cheeks._ "Don't." _She whispered, shaking, not daring to meet his eyes, let alone Zexion. "Please… just don't… when you… I'm not her, Riku. I'm not her."

Stepping back, shocked at his actions, Riku stood still, his eyes widening. Not by her rejection, but by the words emitted from her soft-spoken mouth. _Her?_ I wanted to ask, _what did she mean?_

He shook his head, trying to chase away the words that she had uttered. "No, Naminé, _Naminé_, I never thought you as – as _Kairi_. You two are far too different—"

"—but we look alike." The pale girl interrupted, her cheeks flushing into blood red, the heat rising. "And, you know… you know she'll only see you as a friend. If I could… I'd change it. But I can't."

"… I know." Riku softly said; voice almost unheard in the quiet breeze that played with his hair. "I… I just wanted to tell you: thank you. For letting me… for letting me let it all out. For talking to you and realizing how wonderful a person you really are." Taking her face in hands once more, where aquamarine met sky blue, their eye-contact so deep and connecting that I nearly looked away, feeling that I was disturbing their moment – that this was theirs alone.

"And hey," He said, gaining his confidence in her, "good luck to you too. I'm sure he'll reciprocate the affection." He kissed her cheek, possibly to tease the said 'mystery man', whom I'm pretty sure was Zexion, because he flinched at the contact, coming back to life from his trance.

"Thanks Riku." Naminé sighed, her lips curving sadly, "I really hope so." She bade him a goodbye, and so did I, except for Zexion, who pointedly ignored him, slightly pissed for reasons unbeknownst to me. _Joke_. Yeah, I wasn't too happy either when I saw Axel kissing Larxene either. Which brought a very good question – where _was_ that pyromaniac?

I suppose it doesn't matter.

Zexion moved forward, his hand reaching for Naminé's, purposely not to mention anything that had just happened. I tagged along, as we were going the same way.

"Come on." He said; his visible eye filled with a soft vulnerability that was desperately trying not to crack. "Let's go home."

"Mm." Naminé nodded, her hand fitting into his, a gentle blush tinting the corners of her cheeks. "Let's."

_x__**x**__x_

We stopped at my house, for this was where we parted ways, all three of us going in separate directions. I didn't ask Naminé why Larxene wasn't there, with her, somehow knowing that it was a topic that she was uncomfortable with, and since I didn't wish to either embarrass her, or pry too much into her life, I held my tongue. Some things are better not saying until the time is right. Whenever that may be.

I waved goodbye to her, slightly disconcerted when I saw that Zexion was still standing, watching her figure fade away into the distance. Judging by the sigh that escaped from his mouth, as my mom says, he's got it. And he's got it _bad_.

"Hey, man," I said, closing the door while putting my schoolbag inside the house, before approaching the silent schemer. Except that I don't really think that now was the time to scheme, if Naminé was the only thing on his mind. "When are you going tell her?"

"Not now," Zexion said, his eyes still glued to the pale girl, his head half-shaking. "Don't get into my business."

"Fine." I complied with his request and switched the topic. "So, aren't you going to go home? What are you still doing here?"

"I can't." Zexion shook his head, overcome by a shyness I had never known from him. Not when it came to a girl. "I just can't."

"Why?"

"… because something isn't right." Zexion said firmly, his darkened eyes met mine, intense in a way I had never considered from him, taking me back by surprise. "Something in my gut is saying to chase her, to go after her, but…"

"… you can't." I nodded, murmuring, finishing his sentence. "I know how you feel." Following my instinct, I waited for him to say the words that were forming in his mind, concerning his artist. "So what do you want me to do?"

He half-smiled, lips curling; touched by the gesture of friendship, our bonds strengthening. "Go after her. And for Kingdom Heart's sake – don't lose her."

I began to run, knowing the way to the train station like the back of my hand.

This was for Zexion.

This was for Naminé.

This was for Larxene.

And, most importantly, this was for _me._

_x__**x**__x_

I was too late.

The train had come and gone, and all I had left was an empty platform with no one there.

I groaned, raking my hands through my head.

_I'm sorry._

It was okay though – I assumed Zexion had told Mom, perhaps even accepted the invitation to stay over for dinner, with my mother spoiling him senselessly, preparing his favourite food with her speciality. It's odd, I've lived with my mother all my life, and yet I still don't know what she has as her 'special ingredient'.

Probably something creepy, like gummi bears. My mother _would_ do something like that.

So, instead of returning home, I waited for the next train, which came in an hour, determined to take away the worry that held Zexion in a state of agitation.

Because… we're friends, and friends don't leave when everything gets rough.

Friends stay and hold on, clinging on to the hope of a brighter day, a happier future.

I was going to make everything _all right._ My pace, my way, and I'd do it, giving it all I got.

Everyone wants a happy ending, and I'm no different.

_x__**x**__x_

I'll be honest. I _didn't _really know the directions to Larxene's home – not entirely remembering what she had said. Two minutes away from the train stop, right? _What direction? Which way?_

Oh man, I really should have asked her, or Naminé. Or even the school teachers. They seemed to be somewhat aware of my 'liking' of Larxene, their mouths half curled as thoughts no doubt of their youth entered their mind. I just hope it wasn't perverted, like Professor Vexen. I wonder if Mr. Xaldin knew – psychology and philosophy being his subject and all. I hear he's recently got a girlfriend – wonder if she can handle his sideburns. I don't think they really suit him, but… don't ever tell him that. I don't think he'd be pleased to know.

"What are you doing here? Do—_Demyx._" Another silver-haired man came, his ever lustrous long hair swishing in the wind. Vaguely, I wonder if he was related to Sephiroth. I'll ask him one day, if he's finally overcome his petty problem. I've heard he's got cousins with the same kind of hair – except one of them is much shinier than the other two.

"S-Saïx?" I stuttered, before trying to act unfazed, possibly too late. With the feelings of intimidation still lingered – _curse them!_ – I did struggle with such a calm façade which Larxene would have easily succeed. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I asked first, Suzumura." Saïx flatly stated, using my surname for reasons I suspect that he wasn't quite used to saying my name – replacing it with other words that could substitute it. Like Seifer and Zexion, but with more malice intended. "So?"

"… I'm looking for Larxene." _And her sister, _I mentally added, but wasn't sure whether to entrust that tiny detail with him, still quite wary of his devious mind.

"I see." He shrugged. "Just wondering."

"Fine, now you answer my question." I said, trying to remain civil and calm without panicking too much._ Just where was I supposed to go anyway?_

"My father is coming. He doesn't often… since the divorce…" Saïx shook his head, trying to not delve deeply into the past. After all, what was the point to tell a 'victim-no-longer' the worst part of his life? But still, I remember that day, when that happened, and my 'friendship', if you could even call it that… went downhill. He began to take a more destructive side of life, turning more arrogant, mocking and taunting everyone who dared to talk to him.

But, that happy Saïx, who had a massive grin that would blind other people with its brightness… loved to talk about his father. So, after the divorce, why hadn't he gone with his father? Then again, it's not in my place to ask.

"Oh. I'm sorry." What more could I say?

"Don't be. Not like you caused it or anything." He shrugged; his emotions unreadable.

"I remember him. Slightly." He had his hair. I'm pretty sure of that. Saïx inherited his mother's eyes. "What was his name again?"

"Xemnas. My father's name was Xemnas Wakamoto. He was a great man." He paused, the wind blowing, covering his eyes – which I'm pretty sure weren't crying, just a tad more vulnerable than they were before. "An even greater father."

"It's wonderful that you think so highly of your father." I said, not intending to sound snarky or mocking his father – I wasn't, but I have a slight that I gave him that impression.

It's just…

Now that I think about it, Saïx isn't so bad. Trying to do a civil conversation with him wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Maybe our blooming friendship can overcome our differences. Yeah right. But still, it's a nice thought.

"So…" I tried again, suave, a gentleman with no ulterior motive. "… do you know where Larxene lives?"

_x__**x**__x_

Two words. No, correction: four words. Two objects.

_Pineapple head. Gummi bears._

Filthy mailbox. An even messier house.

My mouth literally dropped open, because this could not be the place that Larxene and Naminé – of _all_ people – lived.

Truthfully, it wasn't that bad. The house just _looked_ bad, with the lights switched on and silhouettes that hid in the background. The dustbins were knocked on the side, the rubbish spewing forth like vomit – made me a little bit sick, to be honest. A man's voice was shouting, his gruff voice almost deafening my ears. The white windowsills were tainted, covered in dust and the brickwork was cracked with wild creepers growing forth from it. The door looked all right, I thought, as I made my way to it. Not my preferred door, one with a window on, but still, a very nice asset to the house. It prevents the house from getting robbed – always a good thing.

Tentatively, I knocked.

And the shouting stopped.

_x__**x**__x_

The door slowly creaked open, and a man with pale blonde hair, paler than Larxene's but darker than Naminé's was the person that I saw. Naminé, who was shaking, stood beside him, delicate and wishing herself to be invisible. And then I met his eyes. And they scared me.

They were a flurry of emotions, like a whirlwind that Larxene so often displayed, his façade put neatly into place. Had I not heard the shouting, then I would have assumed that the man had kind eyes that twinkled in a mischievous way. But his face was red from shouting, his eyes bloodshot, from what I assume to be alcohol. He stank too, so maybe he smoked, I wouldn't put it past him, but I won't say anything at the moment.

"… yes?" He bluntly asked, adapting to the grumpy man woken from his slumber. I winced internally, desperately hoping that I would say the right words.

"Hi." I waved, feeling awkward. "I'm looking for… Larxene."

I froze. I said the _wrong name_. _**Crap**__!_ Just smile. Smile and grin. Not too much… just enough. There.

"She's not here. Said something about adapting. I don't bother to listen – she's useless, really. Both of them are." He added, shrugging, not caring that one of them was standing right behind him.

"You're her father?" I asked, miffed at the fact that he would badmouth his daughters.

"That's right. Ansem's the name." He looked mighty proud of himself, for what reasons, I couldn't say. "Brought my two girls up after the death of my late wife."

"…" I never knew. But then again, I never asked.

"… so, what's your business here?" Ansem – their father – half-growled at me, making me raise up my hands in defence.

"Like, chill. I'm a school friend of hers. I wanted to know where she was, she's been missing from school for a couple of days." I calmly explained, trying not to let the intimidation tactic get to me.

"What are you on about, crazy child?" I bristled at the 'child' bit, feeling patronized. "She goes to her school. Hell, I drop her off. What she does with her free time… is completely up to her. But she's back by morning, I can guarantee you that."

_That_ did not sound right.

"Now get out of here. And take Nami with you." He brusquely took hold of her pale arm, and practically threw her at me. "I know a liar when I see one."

I clenched my teeth, not trusting myself to say anything, lest it was to lose my temper or Nami. And since I didn't want that to happen, I kept my mouth shut, my blue eyes darkening, outraged at his behaviour.

"Come on, let's go." Naminé quietly said, picking herself up, a sad smile touching the corner of her lips, but not meeting her eyes. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Eh? How did you know?" I asked, slightly flustered.

She giggled at that. "I know you. I could see you mentally berate yourself for saying the wrong name, instead of mine. It was sweet of you to come here. So, thank you, Demmy."

Scratching the back of my neck, I accepted the gesture and began to walk, Naminé easily falling into step with me.

"So, where do you want to go?"

_x__**x**__x_

The park.

A silent place, filled with nothing more than trees that swayed with the wind, park benches placed neatly and spread evenly apart, a smooth trail of concrete that allowed us not to get our feet dirty by the mud, or allow us to receive grass-stains. It actually smelled quite nice, fragranced with tulips and roses and cherry blossom trees that still lingered in the season, not quite ready to give up.

Maybe I shouldn't give up either.

"So…" I awkwardly began, never having talked to Naminé by myself before – usually Larxene or Zexion or even Riku was there. I was more like the friend of a friend, or friend of the sister, in Larxene's case. "… are you okay?"

"Yeah," a wistful smile touched the corners of her lips, making her pale radiance almost similar to Larxene. I was getting that uneasy vibe again. "It's nothing new."

"What do you mean?" I asked, concerned about her words. What was her father actually like? Did he… hit her? Abuse her? Turn into a great big marshmallow that threatened to destroy mankind with his apparently kinky red rope and malformed yellow eyes, due to a costly mistake in the science lab?

… too much imagination. Too much.

"My father… is a dysfunctional man. We all are, but… he's the most affected." Naminé said softly, mumbling as she drew circles in the wet ground with her feet, focusing on that. "He comes, he goes, he returns, and he leaves again. A never ending circle."

"…"

"Larxene hates him. Rarely talks to him, if at all. Sure, she'll talk about him, in her way, using euphemisms and twisted stories, but she'll never really treat him the way a daughter should. Me… I'm not like Larxene." She laughed hollowly at that, envious at her sister for reasons unknown to me.

"Why are you upset? What's to be jealous about Larxene?" I quietly gave her a nudge, gentle, trying not to be too forceful. She needed to let these emotions out, and so I tried to ask the right questions, so she could find herself and the right answers for her along the way. "What does she have that you don't have?"

She stared at me, her lithe figure incredulous. "…I'm not strong." She began, tentative, before spilling it all out, like a wave building up on the open ocean, each time it moved back and forth, caught between the rushes of force that everything began to get swept away. "… I can't fight. I can't stand up for myself." She looked down, hands clenched, shaking, her pristine eyes hidden under bangs of flaxen white. "I can't face anything without running away. I can't look at people with a smile on my face without meaning it. I can't interact easily… I can only listen, trying not to overstep the boundaries of friendship."

She's an observer. Like Zexion. She doesn't hide in the shadows, but she's invisible all the same, her pale clothes and skin making her seamlessly transform into a phantom, with a bright red sketchbook to remember her by. She could stand in front of you, and you'd never know, unless you _looked_ and _**saw**_ her. The thing is, what bugs me about people, about observers, is that _they_ never realize. They never realize their own strengths, their own positive attributes, preferring to be in the world of isolation, where no one could hurt you; no one could break that fragile thing called a heart.

But they don't realize… that 'love' will find them all the same. Maybe not the same way as it hits other people, for love is special and different for everyone, and observers are no different. And, then—they begin to hurt. That desire that swells and builds whenever they see this one person, rendering them speechless for one moment, the words choking their throats, unable to make them think, unable to breathe—that's love, inexplicable, _wonderful_, _**terrible**_ love. It's not entirely like that, but there's something about it that people have a common link, a common bond, wherever and whatever it may be. The problem is, with observers… they don't act; don't understand – having been so used to seeing the world through a glass mirror, foggy and blurred, obscured in the way that they shape it. So they might not realize it until it's too late.

Sighing, and ruffling my hair, not caring about the gel, I opened my mouth to speak. "I don't get it. You're jealous of qualities you don't need. Strength, well, Nami – you're strong. I could tell from the minute I met you, in your head, you had a powerful mind." I tapped my temple, demonstrating. "Fighting and 'physical strength' – honestly, that's the reason wars start. I'm pretty sure you don't want to start a war, do you?" I asked, teasingly.

She laughed at that, her small smile genuine. "… silly. Why would I want something like that?"

"Exactly – I don't either. I can't fight, and I'm not really strong but… I _am_, in other ways. And running away, that's fine, as long as you're ready to face it in the end. And there's nothing wrong with being shy, as long as you know who you are, as long as you know you exist." I nodded, then continued. "See… Larxene gets into trouble, get _me_ into trouble, now that you mention it. And I… I hated that. She runs, a heck of lot, but I…"

"… you've always been chasing her." Naminé realized, her eyes widening and glimmering. "… you've been trying to catch her as she falls; you're the one who pulls her to safety, while worrying too much. But then, she's the one who pushes you out in the open world, she's the one who makes you experience and _live._"

We bring the best, and the worst, out of each other.

"Yeah. She saved me from myself. I hope that I can do the same."

"Why?"

"Because… she's running. And you can't run forever – those bonds, however faint, however little, they're still there, and one day she'll be caught, unable to move. And… I want to make her happy."

"But you—" Naminé started, before freezing, reaching out to touch me, but refraining, and looked away. "Let's talk about something else."

"Okay. How did you meet Zexion?"

She grinned at that, laughing, but her eyes showed a different story, sad, wistful. "Remember that day, when Larxene first went to your house, ambushing you?"

I gave a sheepish smile, remembering with a wince. "… yeah. I _definitely _remember that."

"I was there." She scratched the back of her neck, nervous. "Zexion was staring at you, mouth slightly open – I swear he was gaping. But smiling, too. In his pretty eyes."

"Pretty?" She ignored me, although I was amused.

"And I laughed, because Larxene had never acted like that before. He jumped at that, not expecting me – why would he if he never knew me?" She interlocked her fingers, sighing dreamily. "I introduced myself, and asked him if I could draw a picture of him. He said no, but, told me his name was Zexie – Zexion. He cursed you, before making his way to school. I joined him, began small talking and… that's it."

I had a feeling that there was more than that, but… since I only wanted a short story, I guess I was satisfied. Except for the bit where Zexie had cursed me. Maybe that was the reason why I had such a bad streak of luck. _Damn him._ "So, what about Riku?"

She shivered at that, cold in her sundress. I would have offered her a jacket, alas, I was still in my uniform, and couldn't give her the desired piece of clothing.

"He found me. Waiting for Zexion. Talked to me, desperate to talk to someone about his situation. That he… he liked Kairi. He was afraid, afraid that he'd break his friendship with her and Sora; was terrified that she'd fallen for you, even though he would have preferred to set you up with Larxene. So I talked to him, tried to soothe his nerves, grow more comfortable with himself, watched him become attached. To her. To me. He can't let go. He can't move on."

"You can't choose who you fall in love with." I softly said, embracing her, comforting her, not wanting to see her cry. If she did, I'll be reminded of Larxene, and I couldn't bear it. To see her cry, because my world fell apart because she was sad – that's love. I love her but I… I'm afraid.

_Riku._

That's how he knew that Kairi had a 'crush' on me. Or… I 'interested' her. He didn't blame me, but, I think he was resentful of me sometimes. It also explained why he tried to push us together so many times. Or not. Maybe I'm over speculating.

"But if he does, then…I can't return his affections. There's someone else…" Naminé shifted, muffling her voice against me, but I heard her nonetheless. "… Zexie…"

"Tell him." I advised. "He—"

"… no. Not yet." She shook her head, interrupting me. "He won't feel the same way."

"You don't know until you try." I sighed, as she drew away from me, and we became two friends sitting on the bench. "Sometimes you have to let yourself become vulnerable in order to know what you want."

"What do you want to talk about now? Or do you want to go back?" She asked me. Another topic change. Fine.

"Does Larxene… tell you anything about fairytales?" I asked.

"Yeah," she laughed fondly at that, a smile on her face. "Her favourite one is Beauty and the Beast."

"That makes sense." I grinned.

"She told me that one, exaggerating the details many times whenever father – Ansem was away and I wanted a bed time story. It usually included rape or something, something dramatic and terrorizing, then ending it with a tragedy. She didn't think it gave me nightmares, but… she was so animated and happy – fanatically happy – that I could never tell her to stop. She doesn't mean anything by it – Larxene just likes to overreact and make other people suffer to vent her rage, be it real or fictional. Ansem doesn't treat us _that _way, he's just usually angry that he lost his job. He's constantly trying to make enough munny for us to live. Larxene tries to help."

"How?"

"By—" She froze, breath caught in her throat. "She hasn't told you."

"…?"

"Have you noticed… that Larxene hasn't come into school? Or Axel, for that matter?"

"Yeah, but what does that…" I stopped, something hitting me, but forgetting it a fraction of a second later. _Damn it!_

"Never mind. I want to go home." Naminé shook her head, stretching as she stood up. "Thank you Demyx."

"Okay." I took her hand, and began to make our way to her house. "Let's go."

_x__**x**__x_

"You know," I said, on the way, "What I really want to do, is make your sister smile and laugh. Genuinely. Without trying to hide behind the act she puts on, which makes people unable to tell who is the beauty or the beast."

"You really like her," Naminé sighed, eyes lowering to the ground. Her hand slid out of my grip.

"Yeah. I do." I quietly admitted. "I just want to know if she feels the same way."

"She misses you, even if she denies it." Nami told me confidently. "It's because of something that happened before, perhaps she'll tell you one day. She's okay. Don't worry about her."

"What do you mean?"

"I… forget I said anything."

_x__**x**__x_

We stopped at the door, the lights switched off. I wrinkled my nose as I smelt the garbage. Naminé giggled at my expression, explaining that the garbage man came on the weekend, and when their father came, Larxene became a terrible cook, slipping up on things she didn't normally do. So the garbage was smellier than it usually was.

"So… where is she?" I quietly asked, meeting her eyes as she stayed between the entrance of her house and the outside.

She looked at me, before flicking behind me. Her eyes became serious.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?"

I turned slowly, shocked at the sight behind me. But there she was, standing there, speechless.

Larxene.

Pale faced, skinny, celestial blue eyes, sun-kissed yellow hair, _beautiful_. But in a different uniform. This time she wore a red skirt, a white shirt with an ornate pattern, and long sleeves instead of our school's short ones. It suited her. But not as much as the one at our school.

"_Both of them have transferred to many new schools, all over the country, for usually one or two years but… The thing is, she never was kicked out of her schools."_

"_You could come with me."_

"_I'd bet you'd look hot in that uniform."_

"_Goodbye, Demyx."_

I moved forward.

She stepped back.

She ran.

And me? Well…

I began to chase her.


	9. nine

how to save a life — **nine.**

_x__**x**__x_

Have you ever felt the rain?

Have you ever heard thunder and seen lightning?

And during that… have you ever run so fast towards that one goal – that one person, who meant everything to you, that even though the rain was soaking you, drenching you in water that made it hard to see; hard to run… it didn't matter because you _had_ to talk to her?

That feeling… that sensation…

… was me living.

_x__**x**__x_

I could barely see her, but still I persevered, following her red sailor uniform, slowly reaching her.

My feet were completely wet. Since I had to keep my attention in front of me, I wasn't able to look below – therefore, I kept on landing on puddles. Big puddles. Large puddles. It's safe to say, that my shoes were completely ruined.

"Hey!" I called, hoping she would hear me, stopping or slowing down for just a second. "_Hey!_"

But she didn't stop, just continued, skinny and soaked to the bone and probably shivering too. She turned and twisted, trying to lose me.

Well. I wasn't going to give up. "Why are you running?"

"Why are you chasing me?" She answered back, slowing down by a fraction.

"Because you're running from me!"

"Yeah… but you're chasing me!"

"That may be but—_we are not playing a game of cat and rabbit!_"

"Isn't the correct term 'cat and mouse'?" She shot back, pausing as she waited for the cars to stop so she could cross the road. She faced me, but her eyes darted behind her, so she could run at any moment.

"You're the one who calls me a _rabbit_!" I shouted, earning funny glances from people who I don't know and don't care what they think.

"So what?" She looked back, and ran. "Stop chasing me!"

_Bitch!_ We were back to square one. I crossed the road in time, yelling as I did so: "Then stop running!"

She didn't reply, instead, she gained speed, running faster and faster, trying to evade me.

And a car was coming, the ride bumpy and unsafe, the driver probably drunk.

It was going to hit Larxene…

So all I could do, was run, and reach out my hand—

_x__**x**__x_

—and pull her towards me, her head colliding into my chest, her arms automatically wrapping around me, my arms holding on to her, never to let go.

The car sped past us, the passengers yelling at her, at me, mumbling curses with a drunken slur.

We were both shaking, and I lowered my head, lowering my voice as I spoke to her, soft but firm.

"Don't you think… it's time to stop running?"

We were both a mess, our hair in disarray, cheeks flushed from the run, and we were both cold from the torrential rain that deterred us. I breathed heavily, as did she, regaining her breath; her tears masqueraded by the falling of the rain, trying to find the words that were so alien to her.

She clung on to me, and so we were statues, moving as one, watching with glassy eyes, not paying any attention to the world, ignoring the raging thunder, the whip-like lighting and the rain, that hit us like stones.

And finally she said:

"… why?"

_x__**x**__x_

I wanted to shake her. I wanted to hug her.

I wanted to kiss her.

But I couldn't do _anything_, except hear my heart beat erratically; gently push her away from me so I could look into her eyes.

"Larxene, do you want everyone to worry about you?" She said nothing, but watched me, her eye blank but still a flurry of emotions, flickering back and forth, too fast for me to interpret. But I still knew what she felt. Somewhat.

At least… I understood her better than most people did.

"Is that why you do this? Because you enjoy watching people suffer while they try and look out for you?"

She looked away, and I wanted to take the words back. But they needed to be heard, and she needed to realize what she was doing, consciously or unconsciously.

"I'm sorry… Demmy." She gave me a small smile, soft and sad, but still not quite sincere enough to be believable. She looked up, and stretched, shivering as she did so. "You want to go to the train station? Your mother… Yuna must be worried." She began to walk away, presumably towards the train station.

But… part of me, the part of me that wanted a confrontation, wanted answers now, made me reach out and hold her arm, with no intention of letting go. I wasn't being stupid – I refused to believe that.

I think…

I think I just wanted to be with her a little longer.

"Okay. You know what—you're still running." I sighed.

"What?" She tilted her head, her electrical sky blue eyes looking through me. "Why would you say that?"

I took a deep breath and looked her into the eyes, trying but failing to read her mind.

It's a lie. If you've ever heard people say that if you look into people's eyes and see their thoughts—they're wrong. Absolutely wrong. Because all it made me do was feel, and quite frankly, look like an idiot. Which I often feel and look like. Hmm. Strange…

"What are you doing, Dem?" Larxene replied in a bored voice, her eyes still watching mine.

"… trying to read your mind…" I mumbled half-heartedly, unsure that she heard me.

"Is it working?" She asked, mildly curious. So she did hear me.

"… not really." I said, moving my head so I could see different sides of her eyes – to capture different kinds of thoughts. Because obviously, that's how it works. Although… no one's ever said _how_ big a thought is. Does anyone know how it can fit inside an eyeball? Wait. _Ew!_ That sounded gross!

I am aborting the thought-theory here and now.

"Shame. I can read yours quite easily. _Anyways_…" She said, placing an emphasis on the last word. "… you were saying?"

I was…?

Oh! I _was_!

… now… what _was_ it?

"I remember!" I give her a grin, my teeth feeling strangely bright and shiny. "I want to discuss everything and anything with you. Right here. Right now."

She paled, slightly, shaking, but nodded. "_Right _here?"

"Ah… no," I scratched the back of my head. "While you accompany me to the train station."

_x__**x**__x_

We held hands on the way. There were no words. There were no looks.

… it just was… natural.

"You know…" Larxene said, softly, looking out to the sky, the clouds still filled with liquid. "… it doesn't look like it's raining. And yet…" She lifted her other hand, the one disconnected to mind, and moved it around, vaguely interested. "… I can still feel it, ever so clearly on my skin."

"I know what you mean." I said, trying to keep the conversation light and easy.

And I ruined it.

"Are you my girlfriend?"

"… what?" She said, blinking one two and three.

Random. Unprecedented. But that's me.

And she burst out laughing, jumping and splashing on a puddle. A very big puddle.

That got me wet.

As if I wasn't already.

_x__**x**__x_

"I… I… don't know, Dem." She finally said, eyes looking down, her hand tightening on mine. I'm not sure if she even realized it. "I really, really _don't know._"

And that troubled her. Because she liked to hide her secrets and use people. She liked to play the fool and be the one laughed at. She liked to rile people up and lose their temper, if only so they saw the error of their ways, in quite a demonic fashion. But she didn't like being ignorant. She didn't like to not know things.

"Hey." I said, glancing at her, concerned. "That's okay. You don't have to reply. Not yet. Not if you don't want to."

"…" She didn't say anything. I didn't expect her too, because I had something else to say.

"No matter what happens… I'll wait for you."

"Dem…" She said, voice quiet, soft. Uncharacteristic.

We continued the journey to the train station in silence.

There were no more words.

Well. There probably were… but none came to mind.

Not yet.

_x__**x**__x_

I did not like the ticket master.

And I thought the previous one was bad. The _quack_.

This one… chewed gum. And I hate gum. It's incredibly hard to concentrate. And his voice! Ever so… _goofy_…

And his ears… ever so… _big…_

Wait.

When did this change from Beauty and the Beast to Little Red Riding Hood happen?

And more importantly… who was the wolf? And who was the foolish child?

If I was the 'child', then I am not a girl!

… right?

_x__**x**__x_

"So, are you going to… talk?" I asked, feeling a little bit like a police officer. Except I'm not scary. And if I tried the 'good cop, bad cop' routine, I would look like a schizophrenic.

"What about? Choose a topic." She asked dully. "Any topic."

I frowned, unsure which to choose. It was like a card game, and I had no idea which one she held in her hand was safe, and which card she held in her hand was dangerous, potentially for the game, that is.

"We've got an hour. Take your time."

"Don't be like that." I looked at her, watching her, observing the tiniest of movements.

"Like what?" There it was again – that wooden stature that she made and distanced herself from me.

Her last defence was crumbling and all I wanted to see her was to be alive, alit with emotion, the flurries of passion – the fluxing emotions to dance around like sparks on a switch to dance in her eyes.

I just wanted her to be herself.

"_That_. Wooden. A porcelain doll." I sighed, not knowing what to do.

Take Little Red Riding Hood – she was being the Wolf playing the Grandmother.

Take Beauty And The Beast – she was the Beauty, before she allowed herself to become comfortable around him.

"What do you want me to be?" She asked, bitterly, sharply, her eyes still dead, her form thin and drenched. "A monstrous beauty? A superficial beast?" She laughed tiredly, like the joke was old, woven into her tale as old as time. Except for the fact, that really, she wasn't old.

"I don't know – a girl stepping out into the woods? A wolf trying to use another charade, to play a game one more time?" I asked, sarcastic, continuing the line of fairy tales. "Gee, all I want, Larxene… is for you… to be… happy. Comfortable. Smiley. Cuddly. Warm. Huggable. Made of fabric. Like a teddy bear."

"I remember tearing my—_Ansem's_ first teddy bear gift to me—I tore his head off." She chuckled, amused. "I had absolutely no idea that a spoon could be so deadly. After dismembering the head, I ripped the arms and legs off, then used needles, forks, knives – anything shiny and sharp to stab the body, which I imagined to be Ansem's. He didn't take too kindly to that. And Nami never joined in."

"Right…" I took a breath, arching my eyebrow. "If you ever get as far as even entering my room, you'd better not hurt _my_ teddy bear."

"Eh? Damn it, Dem! You made me go into an anecdote. Which therefore lets you know about me _and_ that wasn't even a topic! You're rubbing off on me."

"Nice to know that it goes both ways." I certainly had noticed that I had become more snappy, and edgy; more immature and Zen; and definitely more at peace with my self. Maybe I had _changed_ but I was still part of the past, I was still the Demyx that they knew. I also received a little bit of background – that was definitely awesome.

"Where was I going… oh, yeah!" She clapped her hands, regaining her enthusiasm. "You always did remind me of Little Red Riding Hood. Rabbit-styled. Because if I was the wolf, I would prefer to eat rabbits instead of humans."

"You do realize," I said sardonically, "that the whole _point_ of the story is to not talk to strangers?" When I first met her, she _was_ a stranger. And back then, it was a horribly unfortunate mistake. Now I'm not so sure.

"In that case," she said, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully, "why do we have school? When we first go, everyone's a bunch of strangers. And when we make friends – form alliances, I suppose, in my case, we don't really know who the innocent _girl_ is, or should I say _child_? And we don't know who the wolf is, either."

"I guess." I shrugged. "Still, not many people think of people as 'children' and 'wolves', 'beauties' or 'beasts'. They prefer to use much nastier words." I gave her a meaningful look, and she shared the nod with a soft smile, stifling a giggle with her breath. "Even so, friendships… you don't know how far they go, when it leads into danger, death… love. You don't really know what the person actually thinks of you… not really. You can only catch a glimpse."

"You think wolves eat gummi bears?" She asked, wrinkling her noise.

A bubble of laughter rose up within me. I couldn't help it. Some things never change.

"If you were a wolf, you would _devour_ them."

A train passed by.

_x__**x**__x_

Outside, the storm moved, twisting and turning, streaks of lightning spreading before us, rumbles of thunder roaring in the distance.

"Stop it."

"Oh. You realized it?" She gave an apologetic shrug, not really meaning it. Besides, how can shrugs be apologetic?

Never mind. I'm still drifting away from the topics that had yet to be asked, and yet to be known – she was distracting me. Then again, she always does.

"_Yes._"

"About time."

"_Bitch_—shut up. Can you, for once, not have everything kept masqueraded, and not let me see only glimpses, mere flashes of warnings? Let me see the full picture this time." The request really wasn't that hard, it was just difficult to find the words. I know, we've all been there before.

But somehow, you've got to take the courage you never knew you had, and stand up, tall and proud, and walk.

Forward. Not backward.

"So say something. Ask away, and this time… I'll answer." At my look, she added. "Truthfully."

"Why do you hate Ansem… your father?"

She hissed, eyes flaring. Bad topic, I know, but it was one that needed to be heard. And who knows? Maybe speaking your thoughts aloud made more sense than keeping it inside your head.

"I just… I just _hate_ him." She spat, resigned and bitter. "I hate the way he acts, the way he talks, the way he fucking thinks he _owns_ my life! I hate the way he looks like me; I hate the fact that he's biologically my real father. I hate the fact and this is gonna sound cheesy like you, even though you _like_ cheese… that he doesn't act like a real dad…"

Huh… I guess she's more alike than she wants to be.

"… and I mean, seriously—his ability to make decisions! Come _on_… it's gotta be one or the other. Make a snap decision already, _Ansem_! I don't know, he comes, he goes, he comes, he goes… interfering like it's a frickin' game to him! And Nami can't cook, which is awful. Because I can't cook, mainly because I don't concentrate on chopping things so I accidentally injure myself – and it's _his_ frickin' fault!"

Yep. Definitely similar. I don't think it's best to remind her of those things. I have learnt tact, while being in her presence.

Violence does that to you.

"The worst part is that he won't let Mom contact us or anything! She doesn't know where we are – and we see her… all the time. On the radio… on the television… and she has no clue."

I couldn't help but feel jealous at that.

Wait. Wait just a second! Earlier, I had heard that her mother was dead. But then I also heard that he drove his children to school, when clearly, they walked to the train station, then to school. So, if one of them was a liar, then I'd place my faith in Larxene, rather than her father.

"At least you know your Mom. I have absolutely no idea who my dad is – or if he's even _alive_." I didn't know, and maybe that's what made it worse. Even if I held no personal attachment to him, even if I had dreamt of numerous him countless times, each version different, each one a fantasy; I still didn't know. I love my mother, true, but she doesn't tell me – she… she just smiles fragilely, murmuring in quiet tones that I remind her of him… but it still didn't tell me a thing!

"So?" She arched her eyebrow. "When someone angsts, you're not supposed to join them – you're supposed to _comfort_ them!" She stamped on my foot, half-annoyed, half-amused, a wry smile on her heart-shaped face. "'Sides, maybe Yuna doesn't want you to know. And maybe it's better that way, ignorance is bliss, so they say."

"And what do _you_ say?"

"I say: _smile_ and _**confuse**_ them." A lopsided grin slipped out.

"Oh I see," I let out a grin myself. "They can be the ones to figure it out."

"Just like you." My smile dropped, and she snorted because of it. "What? It's true, isn't it?"

_Yeah, but… I'm not them._

"Oh… you're right. You're not." Did I speak my thoughts aloud? "Yeah… you're… different."

_In what way?_

"Meh. Who cares?" She shrugged. "Just be glad that you're not them."

"I suppose." Was she a mind-reader, or had I just spoken my thoughts aloud?

Sooner or later, another train came by, and our thoughts disappeared with it.

_x__**x**__x_

"Smiling isn't everything, you know."

"Elaborate." She gave me a flat look, her hair sliding down her face, eyes flat and serious.

"Well, it gave me a reason to… become your…" I hesitated, faltering on the next word. "… _friend_. It intrigued me and… I discovered more about you. I understood you, I understand me now. And that smile can't be your answer to everything. 'Cause sometimes, a simple smile doesn't mean a thing."

And really, that's okay. As long as you know where you stand in the world, it's alright; as long as you yourself know it.

"That's for you to think." She said, her mask nearly broken before me, her eyes sparkling, slightly watery, her guard wavering.

And all I could do was lean in, and kiss her, ever so gently, on her lips. She smiled, ever so slightly, as our foreheads touched.

"I still don't know what you mean to me." She sighed, slipping away, but not breaking apart. "You're not like Axel. You just…"

"… me. I _am_ me. I am Demyx. And I am the best damn musician in my school!" I said, earning a giggle from Larxene. A thought occurred, and I frowned, which she picked up on, her eyebrows furrowing. "How was your new school?"

"I…" She stopped, and tried again. "I… didn't enrol."

"So what did you do? Along with Axel?" If I sounded jealous, I wasn't – I was merely _curious._

"Eh…? Who said…? _Nami_. Ah, I wondered if she'd tell you _if_ she talked to you." She said, puzzled.

"Yeah." I nodded, not saying anything. She wasn't finished; her eyes were deep and far away, twisting and turning – a question in her eyes, as she shifted through her memories.

"Unless… that was _you…_" I paled. Had she…? "… on the rooftop, behind the door? With me and Axel?" She tilted her head, her eyes narrowed.

"It was _my_ spot! You took it!" I exclaimed, indignant.

"Yeah. I take a lot of things." She chuckled, sardonic. "And you're not very conspicuous. No wonder you were so _pissed_ at me. Like a fast-paced river or something, trying to bar me from its path. Sooner or later, I would have made a dam." And she had, trapping me so I couldn't move. She grinned at the memory. "I caught you."

Yes. Yes you did Larxene. And boy, I was _not_ happy about it.

"Stop making the anecdotes – get on with the enrolment… which you," I paused, confused, "_didn't_ enrol?"

She suddenly coughed, acting shy. "You stopped me." She suddenly became fascinated with her shoes.

Funny how that always happens. People don't want to explain, and then, oh my, their shoes are most _interesting_ subject.

… that's not to say I didn't do it myself.

"How?"

"I don't know!" She snapped, hissing, her anger rising, and the thunder roared. She looked at me, and I nearly flinched. Her eyes were burning. "You just _did._ And it's your fault."

I stood up, slowly, controlled, hearing the rain pitter-patter just a little bit quicker, matching the beat of my irregular heart beat. She stood up in rage, faster, more enraged.

"I was supposed to move on! You were supposed to be _one of __**them**__._ The unimportant!" She hit me, shaking, and I don't think it was just because we were shaking from the downpour outside.

I said nothing.

"But… you… you're _different_."

Another whack. Another silence.

"I grew attached… to _you_."

She stepped closer, glaring, shaking, freezing.

The beast had come out; the wolf had come to play, caught too far in its game.

The beauty had broken, the child searching for answers, asking unsure questions.

The nymph and all the savagery it had contained had returned back to its original nature.

And all I could do was hold my tongue. She had let me vent before; now I should do the same.

"The feeling of betrayal… betraying you… wouldn't stop haunting me!" She whispered, fierce, both angry and sad. "The bond that I had tried to escape… wouldn't come undone. It felt wrong… and so… I couldn't go."

All I could do was look at her.

"Do you know how I _felt_?" She all but screamed in frustration. She whacked me once again, this time desperation weakened her blow. "Do you know what that's like, to realize someone who's… a… a _friend_… with _benefits_… means just a little bit more than that?"

"Do you know what it was like to _look_ at Axel—who was totally _hot_ in that uniform—and realize it just wasn't the _same_!?" Okay, _that_ made me want to say something, but I didn't quite get the chance. That's probably a good thing. "I felt… wrong. Ditching school. Spending money. Pigging out. Watching sunsets. Walking in the park. Throwing stones into the river… reminded me of you—"

She stamped her foot, determined to make some noise other than her rising voice.

"I _hate_ you!"

"Okay." I said, indifferently. "Be that way."

"No, Dem, you don't understand: _I hate you._"

"No, Larx, _you_ don't understand: _I don't care._"

"I…" She seemed confused. "… I hate you… and you don't care? Who are you?"

I gave a triumphant grin, perfectly annoying. "I am me. I'm not a child. I'm not a wolf. All I am… is me."

"Okay, now I _really_ hate you."

"Fine." I shrugged, sighing, "As long as you promise to come back to school and be my friend, I'll be cool with anything you do. Anything."

"You… won't ask for more?" She stepped back, delicate and fragile.

"Listen." I closed my eyes, sensing a migraine. "All I know is that when I'm with you, I'm happy. And if I have to be _just_ your friend, then it's fine."

Then she punched me. And it hurt. _Really_ hurt.

"Why did you chase me? For so long?" She demanded.

The answer was so simple. "Because you wanted to be found, so that's what I did. I found you. You're not a beauty – though you're _beautiful_. You're not a beast – though you have a short temper. But even if you contain those qualities that twisted fairytales have, that's only a certain aspect of you, not _all_ of you."

"I… I… I hate you… Demyx…" She whispered weakly, falling into my arms, slumping against my chest, still conscious. "I hate what you've done to me."

"Does this mean that you're coming back to my school?"

"I _hate_ you."

That's a 'yes', then.

"Too bad, 'cause I love you."

She did what any person would do. She freaked.

And if a train passed us by, we didn't notice.

_x__**x**__x_

"But – but… I _don't_ love you!" She said, shaking her head, clearly distressed.

"Yes. Yes you do." I replied, ever so calm. "But you're not _in love_ with me. You _just_ love me."

"You're… not _in love_… with me?" She repeated slowly, the words alien to her.

"Yeah." I breathed, sliding to floor, Larxene sliding with me, my back against the wall, her head still on my chest.

Was I _in love_ with her? I don't know. I could be. Maybe. Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't.

Love grows, and slowly but surely, in the (probably) not-so-distant future, I would realize that I _was_ in love with her. Maybe she would realize it first.

I can't tell the future, and I don't want to. Let life take its course, with the rainstorms with it.

"Yeah." I reiterated, somewhat confident. "Happens all the time."

"I don't understand."

"Friends love each other, without being romantic, don't they? Sisterly love, family love… that's still love; it's just a different kind." I explained quietly, noticing for the first time that she was listening to my heartbeat. Had she _always_ been doing that? "So… I love you… as a friend."

"Huh."

"That's what I meant." I added. "I _like _you though."

But it's not my fault if I want it to be something more, is it?

"Oh." So soft, so gentle and quiet, that she was like Naminé for a second. So maybe they really _were_ biologically related. "I like you too…"

"Yeah…" I said, wrapping my arms around her, feeling safe and secure and more in control of my life than before.

_I love you._

Was it a thought? Was it said? Was it meant? Did I…? Did she…?

As in the _actually romantic_ sense?

Maybe I should have worried more, but as Larxene leaned into me, all my thoughts… faded away…

_x__**x**__x_

"Ahem." A small cough.

"Oh! Nami!" Our eyes snapped opened, looking down and standing up, very messily and red-faced.

And _wow!_ My shoes were incredibly _interesting!_ Why, I had no idea that they were so detailed. So… they weren't as plain as I thought they were!

"_Ansem_ told me to get you. Although… really… maybe I should have left you on your own for a moment longer…?" She gave us a suggestive look.

Larxene scowled.

"You're _evil_."

"It comes from living with you, sis." The younger sister said, twirling her umbrella. "Storm's over."

"I guess it does." Larxene shrugged, indifferent, ignoring the latter.

There was only one question left in my mind. Okay, _two_. But the first one was more important.

"So why did you change schools in the first place?"

Naminé shot Larxene an incredulous glance. "You haven't told him?"

"Shut up!" She retorted, before lifting her red face to mine. "Dad… isn't the richest of people… constantly trying to find new jobs to provide… that _bastard._ Anyways, he used to be really successful – a big Somebody in the world of adults. Nowadays, those 'adults' don't recognize his face. But still, he has to find munny—and however he does it, he _does_ get munny. So, to stop teachers from asking too much about my father, if he's really _the_ _whatever of whatever_, and if they want to talk to him about me, her, us… we just… up and leave. Sometimes we leave for different reasons," she looked down, apologetic.

"_Personal_ reasons. He doesn't like it if we get tied down to one place. Alliances are fine… just as long as it's easily discarded. He wants us to be free, detached… and if we have friends, we'll get tethered to one place. _Ansem_ wants us to explore the world, probably to make his rise to fame. Yet again." Sighing, she continued. "He's shallow. He's useless. But he's our father… and so… and so… we have to live in his house… at least until we come of age to leave."

The train slowly came by, slow but silent.

Mutely, and sad to leave, I stepped on board of the train.

Something else needed to be said, so I turned to say something, opening my mouth – but the words wouldn't come out, not flowing as easily as I thought they would. Then again, I didn't know _what_ to say… which makes a difference.

And then Larxene grabbed me and kissed me.

"_That_…" She said with a genuine grin, "… was payback."

"… thanks…" I said, a little breathless, a little light-headed.

The doors closed between us, and all I could do was stare out the windows, frozen.

I then proceeded to squint. And Larxene proceeded to jab Naminé with her elbow.

Don't get me wrong – I don't _like_ squinting – it's just Larxene said something… and I can't lip read.

But I think… and I _think_… it was:

"_I'll call you."_

She doesn't have my number… does she?

_x__**x**__x_

I sat alone, cold and shivering on the train.

It was so strange – I wasn't used to the quiet anymore; though it wasn't unwelcome. Now, with constant arrivals with Larxene, my world had become noisier. _Much_ noisier.

The rain was lessening; each minute that passed the drumming drew fainter… Naminé was right; the storm had ended.

And as I stepped off the train, I knew it was going to be alright.

And we all lived happily ever after.

_x__**x**__x_

"_That is a load of shit and you know it!"_

Yes. Yes, I do know it.

Obviously, we did _not_ get a fairy tale ending.

Instead, for the next couple of days, we were stuck in bed, recovering from the cold that we had got from staying too long in the storm.

Still are, actually.

"Tell me about it."

Served us right. Only idiots do that kind of thing. And we are idiots. Just don't tell _her_ that.

Well, we're all for twisted fairy tales.

"_She was supposed to be my slave! Not kissing Zexion while I was watching through the window!"_

"Sleeping Beauty? You think that's their fairy tale?"

"… _definitely. Now quit going on about it!"_

"Oh, come on. You _knew_ they had the hots for each other. It was only a matter of time…"

"_Shut up, Demyx. Just… shut up."_

"Aw, did I strike a nerve with my _girlfriend_?" I teased, before frowning. "Wait. How did you get my number?"

"_You know, Nami's… boyfriend… has some very interesting information."_ She laughed, mocking me, while my cheeks turned red.

Bastard!

"Why were you watching them, anyways? You're not a voyeur… are you?"

The phone went dead.

Girlfriends. What can you do?

The phone began to ring a few seconds afterwards.

And obviously, it was Larxene.

"_Hey. I was just thinking about you."_

I sneezed.

"Cute." I replied. "But it would have worked better had you not just called me minutes before."

"_Yeah, I know…"_ She was smiling, pouting too. _"But I'm __**bored**__."_

"You don't say – why else would you be calling me?" I arched an eyebrow.

"_I just… I just… want to say something…"_

"Alright. I'm all ears, so long as you can actually pay the phone bill." I said, stretching.

"_Give me a minute… I've forgotten it."_ Again, she hung up.

Then again, she wasn't the type of person to say goodbye anyway.

She doesn't say goodbye if you know she's not going to leave.

I sighed, and leant comfortably on my pillow.

_x__**x**__x_

"So… I hear you're Naminé's boyfriend now?" I gave him an innocent smile.

He merely scowled. "Can it, _Demster cola._"

"That's a new one, Zexie." I nodded 'seriously' at him, fully aware that I was grating his nerves.

"How'd you find out about that?" He quietly asked, sitting on my bed.

"Larxene." I shrug. "You gave her my number."

Alright. Now to put the 'disapproving eyes' into effect.

"You know as well as I do that the method doesn't work."

Dammit! It works when Nami uses it!

"That is because… because… because she's special." The telepath spoke, struggling to find words for once.

"Oh, I see… 'special'…" I repeat, slowly. "You can't say that you've fallen for her? Awoken from a spell that made you an insomniac?"

"… I hate you."

"What? It's the truth." I raise my hands up, feigning innocence.

"Demmy! I made you some pancakes!" Mom said, through the door. "Zexie, if you would be so kind…"

"Of course… Yun… Yun…" Zexion stiffly said, mechanically opening the door for her to step through, and in return she gave him a pretty smile.

"Thank you! Oh, I made you some muffins, so when you go home, or meet up with this 'Naminé'… you can give them to her. Although, I could make cookies instead?" She said, winking at me.

I stopped smiling, feeling _his_ glare. Oh, I know what he thought. And he was completely _wrong_.

I didn't tell Mom _anything_. She had been _eavesdropping_ instead. Typical.

"Thanks…" I said, wondering if I should actually eat the pancakes in front of Zexion. They looked pretty tasty…

My stomach rumbled.

"Okay. I'm going to go. Now. Demyx, tell Larxene to tell _Axel_ and stop teasing us." He gave me the 'evil eye', before taking a breath and turning to my mom. "Yun… Yun… please show me where those delicious muffins are. Setzer would love to eat those chocolate chip cookies. Ammunitions against the squirrels."

Ha! Little did Zexion know that Axel had been requested by Larxene to tease them!

Axel had returned to our school, unaffected by the storm. Then again, he wasn't an idiot. Unlike us.

Zexie left the room, my mother following, but pausing.

"Demyx, I'm happy for you to have a relationship, but I must say: do not have phone sex in my house. Have _phone sex_ and _you die_."

"_Mom!"_ I yelled, disgusted. What kind of mother do I have?

Zexion laughed. "Payback."

I hate them. I really, really hate them!

_x__**x**__x_

"Larxene? Is that you?" I said, this time taking the initiative and calling her.

"_Yeah… this is me."_

"Remembered those words yet?"

"_Not really…"_

"Alright. Fine. I wanted to say something to you."

A pause. A breath. _"Okay. I'm listening."_

I looked out the window, watching dusk commence, seeing the blues of the sky merge to a flaxen coloured yellow, with hues of pink and purple.

"Thank you… for everything."

"_You're welcome."_

Silence.

"_Thank you… Demyx."_

I felt the corners of my lips curve.

"You're welcome."

And the phone went dead. I chucked it to the floor, watching the sunset.

Life isn't a fairy tale. I know that. I can relate to it, I can interpret a meaning from it – the message that speaks to me, maybe only to me. Themes, relationships, anything and everything… that comes from a story. A fairy tale.

We could take it into consideration, but _our_ life wouldn't be one. We could shape people to be multiple characters from different stories and they'd still be themselves and separate from those characters stolen from the story.

Life _is_ a story, but it's still not a fairy tale.

It's the experiences that define us, and cause us to find love. It might not be the 'one', and it might not last forever, even if I hope it does.

Meeting Larxene… meeting anyone, changes your life. Some just mean more than others. And some people… you fall in love with from a strange friendship. Others, you don't. I don't think, in the future, that I'll hang around with Sora, Riku and the others. I never fitted in with them anyway. Then again, given time, maybe I could.

But you know what, when I was them… I was a Nobody. I wanted to _be like them._ And that isn't who I am.

I know who I am. And that's made me a Somebody.

This is not a 'guide for life'. This is not 'how you have a relationship'. This is not 'how to stop being a bystander'.

I can't tell you how to live your life. I can't do anything for you – only you can, because, after all – you're the one in control with your life, you're the ones who choose if your life is going to be saved and I don't actually know _who_ you are. Although if I did, I would shake your hand. And give you a plush toy. Because my girlfriend likes them. But that's beside the point. The point is…

This is _my_ story.

And somehow, through the turbulent changes that happen… the life changing decisions…

Everything _will_ be okay.

Not perfect. Not smooth and easy, because life is like a storm and you never know what's going to happen.

Not overwhelming. But manageable.

One step at a time. With Larxene by my side.

_x__**x**__x_

**a/n. **_I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing!_


End file.
